Another guest question! **update**

Re: Another guest question! **update**

• cpm1223

  

  March 2012

  I think since you budgeted for that friends bf, that you should let him bring a date. If you had just invited him and he was asking to bring someone, I'd say no, but you were already expecting him to bring someone anyway.

  
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• careydes

  

  March 2012

  For me, it's the wording.  If you invited this person (& guest) then you are giving them the opportunity to bring whoever they want.  If you invited this person (& boyfriend) then I would say no, sorry... if boyfriend can't make it, for whatever reason, then that's that.
  
  That being said, I have two friends that have SO that can't come, that I have made exceptions for. One is from VA, and I don't want her to have to make the trip alone, so I told her if her hubby can't make it she can bring another friend.  I would rather have her and random friend than not have her at all.  We've been friends for about 15 years, and it's important to me that she is there.
  
  The other is a girl that I work with.  I was originally friends with her bf, and that's how she got the job here.  He has a conflict and can't come to the wedding, so she asked if she could bring another girl we work with that I have gotten to be better and better friends with over the past year- to the point where I wished I could have invited her.
  So that one worked out for the best, also.
  
  But I've been doing most of this stuff all wrong, so don't listen to me

  

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• vineyard12

  

  March 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_another-guest-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:e26b6688-83fd-43c3-b4a7-104e0bf9f8e4Post:601277c0-a21e-4c74-a1d0-bd3edb458c74">Re: Another guest question!</a>:
  [QUOTE]I think since you budgeted for that friends bf, that you should let him bring a date. If you had just invited him and he was asking to bring someone, I'd say no, but you were already expecting him to bring someone anyway.
  Posted by cpm1223[/QUOTE]
  
  I agree with this. Just let him bring the guest.

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• LOMLBOAT

  

  March 2012

  IMHO, I think if you offered a guest for your friend, then an extra person wouldn't be an issue - seating wise.  But you are entitled to not want a stranger at your wedding.  Maybe talk to your friend about who he intends on bringing, another mutual friend, someone you've met before?  Not sure the details of the breakup, but it can't be easy if they were in a relationship for a while and then going to a wedding.  Your guy friend may just want someone there to not be so sad.  Just my opinion, hope I don't offend.

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• dori851 member

  

  March 2012

  I also agree that you should let him bring a guest since you budgeted for him to bring one in the first place. I know you don't want random people at your wedding, but honestly, I doubt you'll even notice his guest is there at all.

  

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• DianaL616 member

  

  March 2012

  Thanks! The budget part isnt really my issue with it because I thought of it the same way you all do. My concern is that we aren't inviting any guests with "random" plus ones so if I say yes he can bring a guest then I feel I'll have to let any other friends who request to bring a guest just for the sake of not being alone bring the guest and then it could get to be too much. Oh and in response to PP, the invite was addressed to both him and his boyfriend by name.

  
  

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• Melissa51212 member

  

  March 2012

  I understand the frustration and also I would be the same way that people who didn't get a guest would be offended, but like someone else sad it might be sad going to a wedding after a breakup alone. I let it slide...people won't even notice he has a guest.

  

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• MsAmeera25 member

  

  March 2012

  Since the invite was addressed to him and BF by name I would not allow him to bring someone else.

   

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• LuckyHeather member

  

  March 2012

  The same thing happened to me!  One of the guests I invited (with her boyfriend) and she sent me a text saying her "+one" is going to be one of her good friends (someone I haven't ever met).
  
  I am not happy about her bringing a random person either, but I think we both have to suck it up.  There isn't much we can do after the invite has already gone out.  If I had found out they broke up before hand, that would be different.
  
  

  

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• ladychambers83 member

  

  March 2012

  I think if you're following the "no random" people at your wedding for other guests than it should be for EVERYONE! What if one of your solo guests now begins a new relationship, are you now entitled to invite that SO? That's when you start to loose control of your guest list. Stick to your guns. I agree it sucks going to a wedding after you just broke up but c'mon cry me a river it happens.
  I dont want to sound mean, but the same thing happened to me. My cousin was recently DIVORCED but wanted to bring a guest. I told him no and why and he understood, no hard feelings!

  

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• FutureMrsW9

  

  March 2012

  A general rule is that no matter if their in a long-term relationship or not, anyone over 18, or some people do 21, you invite with a guest.  If people aren't in relationships they usually won't bring one - that's based on my friends and what's I've seen at other weddings.  I was worried about the same thing happening, so unless my friends lived together or were engaged I put "& Guest" on their invites, regardless of how long they'd been together.  According to my stationer that's "proper etiquette" - but whatever, that's water under the bridge at this point.  Also, as pps have said, you already budgeted for that extra person, and if your friend means that much to you that you're inviting him to your wedding you should just let him bring a guest. At the end of the day, you probably won't even notice he's there or remember it since you'll be so caught up in your day!

  

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• mandydc0509 member

  

  March 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_another-guest-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:e26b6688-83fd-43c3-b4a7-104e0bf9f8e4Post:4ab900e9-3603-4b3b-b02b-8ac8a29b22ea">Another guest question!</a>:
  [QUOTE]My friend sent me a message last night saying that he is coming to the wedding and asking if he can bring a guest. I had invited him with his boyfriend<strong> but they just broke up last week so i guess now he wants to bring a random person</strong>. I don't know who the person is and I don't really want random people there. I do have another friend that i invited with a guest even though I've never met her boyfriend but it was the "proper" thing to do since they have been together a long time and she is coming from out of town.   Ugh! FI suggested I say no and explain that we only invited family and close friends with guests in long term relationships.  What do you think?
  Posted by DianaL616[/QUOTE]
  
  My only problem with this is that this other person may not be so "random" by the time of the wedding; they may be in a relationship. A lot can happen in two months.
  
  Since you already budgeted for him to bring a guest, I'd let him bring the other person. There's no way for your guests will know if this person is "random" or not, so I don't see how someone else would be offended.

  

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• kimberlykh member

  

  March 2012

  If you addressed it to him and his bf, I think you are well within your rights to tell him no. I would probably let him if he doesn't know anyone else, but say no if he has other friends there.

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• mandi921vh member

  

  March 2012 edited March 2012

  Honestly, I wouldn't let him bring someone because the invitation was for him and his boyfriend. You are supposed to invite guests in a relationship with their S/O no matter how "serious" you think it is. If they have a S/O you put that person's name on the invite not "and guest." That is used for singles you are giving a + 1 to. If you aren't giving single guests a +1 then you shouldn't bend the rules for him.

  
  

  +1 rules are the same as kid rules. If a single person gets a +1 all single people should. If you aren't having kids under 15 then no one is allowed to bring their child if he or she is under 15.

  
  

  Although it's nice to, you aren't required to give single guests a +1.

  

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• toothpastechica member

  

  March 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_another-guest-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:e26b6688-83fd-43c3-b4a7-104e0bf9f8e4Post:71aa6212-5a9b-45ba-b034-b41c56619d4d">Re: Another guest question!</a>:
  [QUOTE]Since the invite was addressed to him and BF by name I would not allow him to bring someone else.
  Posted by MsAmeera25[/QUOTE]
  
  This. You don't have to invite people just so they have a guest if they are not in a relationship, if you havnt done a generic plus one for everyone, then what makes this different? Regarding peoples comments about how it 'might become serious in 2 months', thats true, it might, but it also might not, we have to plan for the time we are sending the invites, not for 2 months down the road unless we have solid reason to beleive it will be (and even then its not required), not just might.

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• littleshrink member

  

  March 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_another-guest-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:e26b6688-83fd-43c3-b4a7-104e0bf9f8e4Post:a7991365-29ee-40fa-a886-344bfd4d2c91">Re: Another guest question!</a>:
  [QUOTE]If you addressed it to him and his bf, I think you are well within your rights to tell him no. I would probably let him if he doesn't know anyone else, but say no if he has other friends there.
  Posted by kimberlykh[/QUOTE]
  
  
  This is probably they way I would lean too...

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