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rehearsal...lunch?

ZRexZRex
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So in Pakistani weddings, the bride's family hosts a dance party the night before the wedding.  Usually, it's just for women and girls, but close male relatives are also invited.

Anyway, this creates a bit of a problem as far as the rehearsal dinner is concerned.  My mom and aunt are hosting the party, and they would prefer to have it on the night before the wedding, because more out of town guests will be able to come, and because having a day off in between the dance party and wedding means that they/my mom will have to entertain the out of town guests for an extra day.

I don't think that having the rehearsal two days before the wedding would be the best idea, because it will mean extra days off of work/hotel nights for the wedding party.  I do get that it will be extra strain on my mom, so I'm wondering if there is a way that I can make everything work.

Would it be terrible to just have a rehearsal brunch or luncheon and keep it really small?  Or should I just tell my mom to do the dance party on the Wednesday and call it a day?

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Re: rehearsal...lunch?

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    TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
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    Nope, that's totally fine. If you havea  rehearsal, you have to feed and water people, but there's nothing that says it MUST be in the evening, or that it MUST be steak, lobster and 40 year old wine. You can have a brunch, have pizza, have a tray of lasagna at your house... whatever works for you. But check with your WP. They might prefer to give up an extra evening than the entire day before your wedding. You never know.
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    tlv204tlv204 member
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    Is there a reason you can't combine the two?  I mean I don't see anything wrong with a lunch or brunch, I'm just curious about some things.

    We had our rehearsal on Thursday (wedding on Sat.), and it was fine, but everyone was local, so it wasn't a big deal. Wouldn't having a lunch cause the same issues with people having to get off work and such?

    Are there restrictions on when you can have the actual rehearsal?
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    samscsisamscsi
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    How late do these parties usually start?  Is it possible to combine the two traditions?  I'm not sure what you would do about male RD guests though...

    Otherwise, a rehersal brunch sounds like a really nice idea, assuming trying to do both in one day won't be overwhelming for anyone. 

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    ZRexZRex
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    TLV-- do you mean doing the rehearsal and then going to the dance party, since everyone will just get fed and watered there?  That could possibly work!  Maybe I'll check and see with my mom if that would work.  The bride isn't supposed to wear any makeup or anything to the party (so that the contrast at the wedding is greater), so it's not like I'd have to do extensive preparations anyway.
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    CellesCelles member
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    Can the dance party take the place of the rehearsal dinner?  I'm not familiar with Pakistani customs, so I'm not sure if inviting the male members of the wedding party to the dance party would constitute a faux paus or not.

    If two separate events are necessary because of conflicting guest lists, then I personally don't see a problem with a small rehearsal brunch or luncheon at all.  It sounds nice, actually.
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    ZRexZRex
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    Hmmm...good point on the male guests.  We'd have to have the S/Os of the bridesmaids and the groomsmen.  I'm sure we could just make an exception and invite them.  It'd only be an extra 8 guys tops...
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    tlv204tlv204 member
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    I mean honestly I would love to attend that in place of a rehearsal dinner :) I think it sounds fun.
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    ac_in_dcac_in_dc member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsallunch?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:925a03e9-7cbd-4e2e-ab44-4517a2368f02Post:9443fa3a-1b12-4b63-8e6f-56b575fa61a9">Re: rehearsal...lunch?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hmmm...good point on the male guests.  We'd have to have the S/Os of the bridesmaids and the groomsmen.  I'm sure we could just make an exception and invite them.  It'd only be an extra 8 guys tops...
    Posted by ZRex[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, I'd do this and skip a rehearsal lunch. That was the wedding party doesn't have to take extra time off of work.
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