Vows

kgrawedding · October 2012

What are your opinions on the difference between "all the days of my life" and "until death do us part" in the different sets of vows? What does the Church teach about the duration of the vow after death and remarriage after death of a spouse? That "what if" question keeps nagging...

maggieandrey · October 2012

I can only answer the first question, and I'll explain why I feel this way. My mother died at 36 after a three year battle with breast cancer, leaving my dad a widower with my sister and I, who were only 8 and 3 years old at the time. He remarried within a year of her death, and although I was too young to remember my mom, I know that she would have wanted the best for my sister and I, and for my father. His remarriage was probably what was best for all of us. So for me, it's "until death do us part."

However, I know people who feel strongly the other way. I think it depends greatly on personal experience and possibly upbringing how affected you are by one wording or the other.

bibliophile2010 · October 2012

Widows and widowers are allowed to remarry. Jesus teaches that in Heaven, there is no marriage. I'm sure someone else can give you the exact citation.

That said, I believe that the traditional Catholic vows are "all the days of my life." " 'Til death do us part" is more of a nod to what brides expect based on tv and the movies. To me, it makes sense, I would still love and honor my husband, even if I was widowed and remarried.

Riss91 · October 2012

The Latin Mass uses "til death do us part", which is my personal preference. The pp are correct that remarriage is acceptable for widows/widowers, so I feel those vows most closely reflect that concept.

agapecarrie · October 2012

Earthly marriage is an icon that points us to heaven, the heavenly marriage. Marriage is for the purpose of helping each other get to heaven. There is no need for marriage (between a man and woman) in heaven because you are there.

Calypso1977 · October 2012

The Latin Mass uses "til death do us part", which is my personal preference. The pp are correct that remarriage is acceptable for widows/widowers, so I feel those vows most closely reflect that concept.

ditto.

Tami87 · October 2012

In my together for life book it listed "all the days of my life" as the traditional vows and "until death do us part" as US optional vows. We picked all the days of my life option because we liked the way it sounded better and we also liked that it was the more traditional vows. I had no idea about the wording for the latin mass.

As for getting remarried after you are widowed, of course that is perfectly acceptable. But I agree with bibliophile that it makes sense that you would still honor and love the person you loss even if you are remarried. Or put another way I don't think that getting remarried after the death of a spouse means that you cease to love and honor that person.

christinamarie325 · October 2012

Slightly off topic,

but does anyone know where I can read the specific vows used in the Latin Mass? I'd like to sort of memorize them, so I don't stumble repeating them that day.

Riss91 · October 2012

I think I put my whole program on our page (link in the sticky at the top). But this is what was in there:

P. <Groom’s Name>, do you wish to take <Bride’s Name /> here present for thy lawful wife according to the rite of our Holy Mother the Church?

The bridegroom responds: I do.

P. <Bride’s Name />, do you wish to take <Groom’s Name> here present for thy lawful husband according to the rite of our Holy Mother the Church?

The bride responds: I do.

I, <Groom’s Name> take thee <Bride’s Name /> to be my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish, till death do us part.

I, <Bride’s Name /> take thee <Groom’s Name>, to be my lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, and cherish, till death do us part

professorscience · October 2012

So, Riss (and other Latin Mass brides), what parts of your ceremony were in English and what parts were in Latin?

Riss91 · October 2012

I think it's only the vows and the priest's homily...

Calypso1977 · October 2012

yes, vows were in english and the homily.

Calypso1977 · October 2012

also the vows are done before mass starts, not in the middle. so we were actually married before mass even started, so for hte few people that showed up late they missed it!

christinamarie325 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_vows-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:365c7fd8-0a8f-4ec0-8914-e3eacc0e6d46Post:62e8f040-0cf3-46b5-a01e-193d531238d6">Re: Vows</a>:
[QUOTE]I think I put my whole program on our page (link in the sticky at the top). But this is what was in there: P. <Groom’s Name /> , do you wish to take <Bride’s Name /> here present for thy lawful wife according to the rite of our Holy Mother the Church? The bridegroom responds: I do. P. <Bride’s Name /> , do you wish to take <Groom’s Name /> here present for thy lawful husband according to the rite of our Holy Mother the Church? The bride responds: I do. I, <Groom’s Name> take thee <Bride’s Name /> to be my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish, till death do us part. I, <Bride’s Name /> take thee <Groom’s Name /> , to be my lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, and cherish, till death do us part
Posted by Riss91[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Thank you!<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

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kgrawedding · October 2012

Thanks for your thoughts!

HeatherSP13 · February 2013

Catholic Church is perfectly fine with remarriage without hassle if someone would pass away. Totally different than trying to remarry after divorce. Vows only valid until death.

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