Future Hubby hates all my ideas :-\

stewardk · January 2012

I am getting married in Alaska. Besides hardly any of my friends from school being able to afford a flight up there, my to-be hubby has rejected every idea I have laid out. EVERY. IDEA. I have listed glaciers, lodges, B&B's, back yards, open lots, even the effing court house. I have listed every possible venue and he doesnt like any of them. I don't get it. And I'm so frustrated already and not getting hitched (venue willing) til May 2013.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to persuade him to go with my ideas?? Generally he says yes to everything....

tldh · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_future-hubby-hates-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:666Discussion:6ee23479-d28a-4b09-b7bc-d286ead6ebe6Post:6621d7cf-3ac8-423f-8237-95694c9f5ae3">Future Hubby hates all my ideas :-\</a>:
[QUOTE] I am getting married in Alaska. Besides hardly any of my friends from school being able to afford a flight up there, my to-be hubby has rejected every idea I have laid out. EVERY. IDEA. I have listed glaciers, lodges, B&B's, back yards, open lots, even the effing court house. I have listed every possible venue and he doesnt like any of them. I don't get it. And I'm so frustrated already and not getting hitched (venue willing) til May 2013. Anyone have any suggestions on how to persuade him to go with my ideas?? Generally he says yes to everything....
Posted by stewardk[/QUOTE]

Ask him what he sees when he thinks about your wedding day. It's not a good idea to try to talk someone into doing this your way - this is his wedding day also. Compromise is going to be key throughout this process and throughout your marriage.

Before you decide on a place though, decide on a budget. The last thing you want is to fall in love with a venue just to realize that you cannot afford it.

stewardk · January 2012

i have asked him and we have fallen in love with some places, but then when i go to talk to the places, they don't offer what we want or offer the option of us supplying what we want. When I do ask him what he wants he tells me he doesnt know, he just knows that as long as I'm his wife at the end of the day that's what he wants. lol then he says no. S;DKMAS;DCINCSDMK'LAO but thank you!!

eospassion · January 2012

Another idea that helped my fiance and I were making a list. Once your man does have an idea or things he doesn't want . We took our lists (Rat Pack/formal) And (Beauty and the Beast/Romance) and we're creating a ballroom full of beauty and fun. And we prioritized the details. Is a great cake more important than a great dj?

I hope you and your man do find the perfect combination of eachother for the perfect day- it's for both of you after all! The wedding and how you work together will probably reflect how you two will be able to deal with problems in marriage later.

Wiscisbliss · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_outdoor-weddings_future-hubby-hates-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:666Discussion:6ee23479-d28a-4b09-b7bc-d286ead6ebe6Post:61203b76-2113-4594-b7f4-0caa9a7aeb63">Re: Future Hubby hates all my ideas :-\</a>:
[QUOTE]Another idea that helped my fiance and I were making a list. Once your man does have an idea or things he doesn't want . We took our lists (Rat Pack/formal) And (Beauty and the Beast/Romance) and we're creating a ballroom full of beauty and fun. And we prioritized the details. Is a great cake more important than a great dj? I hope you and your man do find the perfect combination of eachother for the perfect day- it's for both of you after all! The wedding and how you work together will probably reflect how you two will be able to deal with problems in marriage later.
Posted by eospassion[/QUOTE]

We did something similar. DH and I each made a list of the top three things we wanted at the wedding. We managed to get those three things.

You can't always get everything that you want, but you might be able to get the most important things.

Madisonpenny · January 2012

Ask him to come up with something better? Seriously if your thinking everything up and all he's doing is shooting everything down tell him to figure something out and you'll weigh in on it when he does. Give him a time line and when/if he says he didn't come up with something tell him these are the options and list them all out and ask him which one he does like the best. You everntually have to agree on something.

joyfulhappy1 · January 2012

It sounds like he's not much into details so maybe you can just ask him what his ideal wedding would look like and really listen to what he is saying and then go from there. It sounds like he just wants to be married to you and really doesn't care about all the details because they overwhelm him. Confirm a budget with him and get together with your girlfriends to plan the details, tell him when to show up, where to stand and what to where and it will all work out. I hope the best for you two!

stewardk · January 2012

Last night he and I skyped and talked about what we want. I showed him a lodge that would be able to encompass either a spring or winter wedding and would be able to have a mix of outdoor elements and indoor as well as having spectacular scenery for wedding photos. Thank you for all your ideas!!

cwaggoner07 · January 2012

Well he is not allowed to say that he doesn't care and at the end of the day he just wants to be married to you, and then turn around and shoot everything down. Either he has an opinion or he doesn't, and you need to explain that to him.
At the beginning FI told me what he cared about and what he didn't. Engagement pics and a certain officiant were the only things he wanted, so we went with his ideas on that.
Maybe ask him what is important to him and what isn't and go from there?

Elysia1970 · January 2012

Poor thing! My FI and I have the same thing happening. At one point I told him that since only he knew what was going on in his head, then he should do all the planning, and if he was lucky, I might show up on the day! Then, when nothing was getting done and timing was getting too close, I told him if he didn't have something solid by a certain date, that I would have to 'fire' him from being the planner and he would just have to accept whatever I arranged. He agreed that things were too much for him and let me do the 'Apprentice' move of "You're fired!" Haha. Whilst I still consulted him, I finally got a venue booked, and all other major parts done. I think they just worry too much about things, like what will make you happy with them and what will please their family, etc. If your FI is as wonderful as mine is, things will work out. They just need to know that everything will be ok. Good luck!

stewardk · January 2012

Thanks!! We finally decided on a venue. I think part of the difficulty we have in making decisions for the wedding is that I'm in Missouri taking care of my terminal father while my fiancé is in Alaska. We still have to go see our venue but we both love what we have seen and the people we have talked to! Now for a color palette......he wants red, white, and black.....those were my high school colors and I really don't want to feel like I'm in high school on my wedding day..... :-/

Sydney91 · February 2012

Now I'm glad I have a groomzilla. I'm sorry you're having trouble getting a fire lit under him.

Future Hubby hates all my ideas :-\

Re: Future Hubby hates all my ideas :-\

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