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NEED ADVICE!!!

alyssenicolealyssenicole
First Comment
in Virginia
.My fiancee's parents have been divorced for years now, but they get along great..no dysfunction, that may be expected in some divorced families. Now here's where the issues begin..My future father in law started seeing someone new about a year ago. After, 4months of dating, he moved her & her 3 kids in(still not a problem, at this point&Then, recently got engaged,which will be the new wife's 4th marriage).But then, she started causing alot of problems, by talking crap about my FIL's kids(one being my fiancee & myself) She started putting wedges in the family & saying my FIL's "adult children" weren't allowed at the house(which they grew up in) & Lying about my future MIL & a TON of other things. So, of course we prefer to only invite people we love & vice versa, to our wedding, BUT my future FIL is helping pay for the venue & feels he should be able to bring her & Isn't taking anyone else's feeling into consideration...We have to "suck it up" for every holiday to come, but he feels I'm the one being selfish, by not wanting her there on our Wedding Day..Our ONLY day. Does, anyone else feel like we are in the wrong to ask him to be the one to "suck it up" for 1 day & leave her at home with her kids?? Or should we really be the ones to do that on our wedding day???
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Re: NEED ADVICE!!!

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    jtmh2012jtmh2012
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_virginia_need-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:236Discussion:ae62bf00-4220-41e1-bd12-d2556fd17f67Post:1ea24993-c7aa-45a5-a0cc-5c87a4a9e0d7">NEED ADVICE!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE].My fiancee's parents have been divorced for years now, but they get along great..no dysfunction, that may be expected in some divorced families. Now here's where the issues begin..My future father in law started seeing someone new about a year ago. After, 4months of dating, he moved her & her 3 kids in(still not a problem, at this point&Then, recently got engaged,which will be the new wife's 4th marriage).But then, she started causing alot of problems, by talking crap about my FIL's kids(one being my fiancee & myself) She started putting wedges in the family & saying my FIL's "adult children" weren't allowed at the house(which they grew up in) & Lying about my future MIL & a TON of other things. So, of course we prefer to only invite people we love & vice versa, to our wedding, BUT my future FIL is helping pay for the venue & feels he should be able to bring her & Isn't taking anyone else's feeling into consideration...We have to "suck it up" for every holiday to come, but he feels I'm the one being selfish, by not wanting her there on our Wedding Day..Our ONLY day. Does, anyone else feel like we are in the wrong to ask him to be the one to "suck it up" for 1 day & leave her at home with her kids?? Or should we really be the ones to do that on our wedding day???
    Posted by alyssenicole[/QUOTE]

    Unfortunately, if you want to play by the rules of ettiquite, you have to invite her.
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    sunflower1998sunflower1998
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You might want to post this in the Etiquette forum.  You'll get a greater response.
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    alyssenicolealyssenicole
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for thr responses & I posted it in "Etiquette":) I don't know if we will use the rules of "etiquette" though...seeing as how she has never used manners herself. I could wright a book on here of all the things she has said & done in the 11mo. she's been with my future FIL. If all of you only knew.....ugh! This is a tough choice, but we got some time to think on it:)
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    =missy==missy=
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have a difficult family too. I would invite her, but maybe pull her aside beforehand and tell her "I'd appreciate it if everyone got along on our special day". Hopefully she'll be an adult and understand that your wedding is not the time and place for drama.

    But if your FIL is paying for some of it, I don't think it's right to tell him she can't come.
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