Preparing for Pre Cana

Re: Preparing for Pre Cana

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  lalaith50 member

  

  September 2012

  There's really nothing that you *have* to do for Pre-Cana, but some thoughts that come to my mind of discussions you might have (if you haven't already)

  
  

  A lot of "future possible scenarios" type questions-

  
  

  what if one of you gets a terminal illness or paralyzed?

  raising kids? how to punish? where to send them to school? (private, public, homeschool.) 

  Would you (the wife) stay at home with kids or try and work?'

  
  

  ESPECIALLY since he is not Catholic and you are, be SURE to talk about "how will we religiously raise the kids?" (where to take them to church, where/when to baptize them, what kind of religious devotions will we do at home, etc.) (please please please do not say, "oh, we'll figure it out when we get there!" Not an ok answer!)

  
  

  Money of course... joint accounts? what if someone makes more money? spending money? saving money? saving long-term together?

  
  

  Gosh, there is just so many things to talk about. *After* your pre-cana you might find that you actually have things to talk about, so don't worry about it now! If you want, I know there's some books that you can look up that give ideas for discussions, like Devotions for Dating Couples or 101 Question to Ask before you get engaged. 

  Did you already take a Foccus test? If there are any areas that you scored low on, those are definitely things to talk about.

  

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  Eliz77 member

  

  September 2012

  We went to our Pre-Cana completely unaware of what it would be about. My husband was not raised Catholic either. There were no surprises for us, but we also had been together 7 years and have talked about many topics that came up during the pre-cana weekend, such as finances; having kids, raising kids Catholic; what would happen if/when various big life events beyond our control crop up; what sort of quirks bother us about each other; how to relate to each other during disagreements; and other things. I did notice around us, the main things couples were discussing rather heatedly had to do with finances or "I hate it when you do xyz!" 

  
  

  Just go into this with an open mind, be honest and try to see why your FI answers certain things as he did. Try not to get defensive or hurt if you don't agree, instead try to talk through any concerns/disagreements together. There is no "test", no one to judge you on your answers-our Pre-Cana leaders never looked at our worksheets or interfered in any of our conversations. This is all about you and your FI.

  ~ES~

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