For those of you not allowing +1's

mrshall1027 · January 2012

We were planning to let everyone bring a date if they were single, but I've been seeing a lot of people on the boards say they are not allowing +1's if the person is single. My question is, how are you making that clear to the single people that they are not allowed to bring a date? This would save us a ton of money, but not sure about it just yet. And not to offend anyone that is doing this, but I'm worried that it also might look tacky on our part.

So how are you handling this if you are not allowing singles to bring a date?

chasemamabear · January 2012

I have 2 sets of invites. The ones for people with dates say mrs. and mr. on the reply cards and will be addressed to both people. the single ones only have mr. or mrs. on the reply card and will be addressed to them only

achiduck · January 2012

I am addressing the envelope only to the person who is invited. I am also considering adding a line to the RSVPs that says "___ place(s) have been reserved in your honour." Then I will fill in the number in calligraphy.

We are making a few excpetions to the single guests not invited with a date rule if they are from OOT or won't know anyone else at the wedding.

lehc723 · January 2012

I actually just tweeted at @theknot for their #WediquetteWed day, ha. I'm including a line on the RSVP cards that says, "We've reserved __ seats in your honor". When we go through, we'll fill out if it's one (single people) or two (people who get dates).

steveandta · January 2012

To me it is an intimate occasion where I am professing vows to my husband. It is not a birthday party or "a night out". My biggest fear comming into wedding planning is looking into the crowd and seeing people we dont know.

Secondly we are paying for this wedding. I am not paying close to 100 dollars for a plate for someone that I do not know when that money can go towards something else. And it can add up.

I dont mean to be a pesimist, and by all means I do not want to offend anyone that aggrees with plus ones.

At my friends wedding (who did +1s ) one of her younger cousins brought a girl that he knew who wore her loud bright prom dress and got extremely drunk. Not only was she loud and messy, she fell off her chair, dropped a glass and was in the background in all her pictures. by the end of the night this girl whom her cousin was not even dating was crying in the bathroom over nothing and was a big descration over the night. to top it off we found out that the girl was under age and should not have been drinking in the first place!

I dont want any of that mess at my wedding so I am not adding any +1s that I do not know. And I will make that clear on my invitations.

mrshall1027 · January 2012

Ok, so after hearing all of that, I am seriously considering not allowing +1's. I have to agree with you all - I want to know the people at our wedding and not have a bunch of strangers. I am already going to feel like that because a lot of the people FI wants to invite are people that I have not meet or have only meet once. Since they all know each other, than I think they will be fine. Wow, if we do this, it will cut down our guest list like 30-40%!

Thanks for all the input! And thanks for sharing how you are making it clear on the invites.

cokie216 · January 2012

Originally I really wanted every single person to be able to bring a guest but when you really get down to your budget and guest list (that keeps growing!) I think it's one of the most practical things to do to save money. I've run this by some of my single friends and they all agreed that they were fine with it, as they will have friends there. I plan to do plus ones for people in relationships only.

knmd2012 · January 2012

Ditto what some of the other posters said- we're going to just address the invitation to the person invited and not mention a guest. We are making an exception for out of town guests (who may not want to travel alone) and members of our wedding party. All the single people at our wedding know many other guests anyway, it's not like they'll be alone. I'm also a little worried about it seeming tacky but we LOVE our venue and our guest list is at its max capacity, and we don't want to eliminate friends/relatives we actually know from the list to make room for a bunch of randoms we've never met. Plus the $$$ saving aspect is huge!

pzavecz · January 2012

We will not be allowing single guests to bring a +1. We are paying for this wedding ourselves and I don't want to spend money on a bunch of randoms at my wedding. If people don't like that and get offended, they don't have to come...that's what the decline option is for on the RSVP card.

As far as making it clear to those guests, I plan to address it only to the guest invited. Additionally, like PP's, I want to add a line saying "____ seats have been reserved in your honor" and then just fill in 1. To me, this is not rude. It's your right to invite who you want and not allow your single guests a +1. What IS rude IMO, is a guest adding an uninvited +1 or asking if they can bring a +1 if they were the only person invited. If they ask, I'll just tell them "Sorry, we weren't able to extend everyone a guest" and leave it at that.

The only people that get to bring a +1 are those in relationships.

therabbitsmith · January 2012

I am not allowing +1s for dates but we do understand some people have children so that is ok with us. Plus we know most of the kids anyways.

Simply_Caitlin · January 2012

For me the only people getting plus 1's are the people in a real relationship once the invites go out, or the ones traveling from out of town. I have a handful of people traveling almost 600 miles to be here so whether they want to bring a date will be up to them. I feel like it's fair. With the expenses they will have to lay out just to be there, I could cover another person if it makes them more comfortable. Anyone local and single though, no dice.

Years ago, I had been with my then boyfriend longer than my cousin and his fiance and I didn't get a plus one because we "weren't engaged" AND I had to travel 700 miles to get there. I was furious.

wishingstar4jm · January 2012

ditto guys..
if i dont know your S/O you arent getting a +1. NO WAY!! its mine and the FI pocket book. no extras here!!

(OOTers are allowed +1...but those are few and far between as well)

jkoronki2 · January 2012

I am having them bring a +1 is they are Married, Engaged, or living together. other than that then they are not going to have a +1. i am making an exception for my bridal party but i know that less than half will have a +1.

For those of you not allowing +1's

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