No menu choices for a sit down dinner?

SmallenForever · January 2013

My venue is doing a sit down dinner and we only have one option for everyone (there is a vegetarian option too, but I didn't have guests pick, I just gave it to my vegetarians). My venue said they never do menu choices. Is this weird? Are my guests going to hate me for not giving them an option? I've never been to a wedding with options, but from what I read here, it sounds like my wedding is weird and my guests might not be able to eat. I also just gave kids the kids meal without asking. Now I'm getting nervous....

Maggie0829 · January 2013

Whenever I have been to a wedding with a sit down dinner I was not given an option. They served everyone the samething unless someone had a food allergy or were vegetarian/vegan.

So no, I don't think it is weird that you aren't providing a choice for your guests.

What meal are you serving? Just becasue I am nosey.

MrsMack10612 · January 2013

Funny - I don't think I've ever been to a wedding that was a sit down that DIDN'T have menu choices, even if only chicken or beef.

I find it strange they don't give options, but again not my experience. As long as the meal choice is something middle of the road and nothing to out there haute cuisine like, it should be fine.

Jager1219 · January 2013

I've never heard of not giving menu options for a sit-down meal. Most venues require the guests to pre-select their entree choice ahead of time, so it's usually listed on the RSVP card. However, some weddings I've attended, you select the day of. So if I was invited to your wedding, since I didn't choose my meal before hand I would either A) Assume it was buffet/stationary style or

Assume that I would choose my entree choice that day. I think it's strange your venue doesn't allow options (chicken, fish, beef, vegetarian). I guess one way to make it work is to do a duet plate (chicken and fish on the same plate) but I don't know if that's too late for you. I would, however, call the people with kids and the vegetarians and ask what they want to eat (normal meal will be X, but we have this as an alternative). It's possible that not all kids eat off the kids menu - I certainty didn't as a child.

bridalmarch · January 2013

My wedding is a sit down dinner with a chicken/beef/vegetarian option. I've been to weddings where I didn't have an option though. At those, it's usually a small portion of both chicken and beef, or chicken with crab. I wouldn't think it was weird if I wasn't given an option.

SmallenForever · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-menu-choices-for-a-sit-down-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:27956149-4841-4b14-90d5-5164eda4dad9Post:009c496c-cb2e-4ec8-aa19-f1c45a4d067b">Re: No menu choices for a sit down dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]Whenever I have been to a wedding with a sit down dinner I was not given an option. They served everyone the samething unless someone had a food allergy or were vegetarian/vegan. So no, I don't think it is weird that you aren't providing a choice for your guests. What meal are you serving? Just becasue I am nosey.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

<div>Chicken, pasta, roasted vegtables, and salad. We chose it because we have both dairy and nut allergies in our family and because a lot of people in my family don't eat red meat. The vegetarians get the same thing, minus the chicken, and with extra portions of everything else.</div><div>
</div><div>It's too late to change my menu and my venue claims that they never offer choices and it's not a problem. I am a little worried though. As for the kids, they are all between 2-4, so I thought giving them a kids meal would be better. I guess I'll call and ask. </div>

daveANDkristen · January 2013

I'm not sure what is normal in your area, but here I've only ever been to one wedding that had a plated (versus buffet) dinner. In that instance, everyone was served the same thing (a very tasty chicken dish). It was just fine by me!

It probably keeps costs down to only offer one entree, so maybe that's why they don't have the option for choices. It does seem a little strange I guess, but I don't think your guests will be angry about it.

Jager1219 · January 2013

I'd say that's a really good entree choice. It's very middle of the road. I would have been more concerned if you were only to offer beef or fish as your choice. Chicken with pasta is a good crowd-pleaser.

Kids between 2-4 you're probably pretty safe with. I was thinking they were more like 8-10. I was a fussy eater as a kid and wouldn't touch a PB&J or chicken nuggets, but I'd eat an adult meal that you had listed above.

Maggie0829 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-menu-choices-for-a-sit-down-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:27956149-4841-4b14-90d5-5164eda4dad9Post:23ea6230-b074-4eab-b9ea-c532d04608c8">Re: No menu choices for a sit down dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No menu choices for a sit down dinner? : Chicken, pasta, roasted vegtables, and salad. We chose it because we have both dairy and nut allergies in our family and because a lot of people in my family don't eat red meat. The vegetarians get the same thing, minus the chicken, and with extra portions of everything else. It's too late to change my menu and my venue claims that they never offer choices and it's not a problem. I am a little worried though. As for the kids, they are all between 2-4, so I thought giving them a kids meal would be better. I guess I'll call and ask.
Posted by SmallenForever[/QUOTE]

Do not be worried. I think the choices for your meal that you picked sound perfect. It gives a variety of things for people to eat. I would be all over the chicken and pasta but I wouldn't touch the veggies because I am just not a veggie fan. No matter how many choices you gave me I wouldn't touch the veggies on any of the plates, so choices aren't always the end all be all.

As for the kids, I think you made the right choice by giving them the kids meal. At that young of an age I think the chicken fingers or pasta with red sauce would be much more appealing then roasted veggies and chicken. But then again I could be wrong.

I think what you have planned out is fine. I wouldn't change anything.

Just remember that you are hosting your guests properly by giving them a meal. Providing them with choices and alternatives is going above and beyond what you have to do. Is it nice? Yes, but not necessary. But if your venue doesn't do that there isn't much you can do.

Calypso1977 · January 2013

ive seen both - weddings with choices, and one or two where we all got the same "wedding chicken".

ftrmrsw · January 2013

We're not giving an option. Everyone is getting chicken, unless they opt for the Veg. Option which is noted on our RSVP cards.

Simply Fated · January 2013

I personally have only been to events with choices, buts not unheard of to only have one choice. I see it a lot of Four Weddings, too lol. Chicken with pasta sounds good and generally liked, IMO.

Miss Esa · January 2013

I think you'll be fine. My venue is the same way. The let us pick the dinner, and we are given a kids meal option, a vegan option, and a gluten free option for the guests who need those options.

lyndausvi · January 2013

We didn't give people a choice, but we also had a duet plate.

While I find it odd the caterer doesn't have the option of options, you are okay without it. I like your food choices.

SmallenForever · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_no-menu-choices-for-a-sit-down-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:27956149-4841-4b14-90d5-5164eda4dad9Post:f013edd3-df07-4ced-b0e3-24efe38b4976">Re: No menu choices for a sit down dinner?</a>:
[QUOTE]Why didn't you give your guests the choice of regular or vegetarian? That's the only issue I have with the whole thing. I don't think not having a choice is a big deal at all, since your meal sounds pretty universally pleasing, but as a guest, I would want to know if there was a vegetarian option available.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

My wedding is really small and we only have two vegetarians, so I didn't think to even ask. Since I know everyone coming, I know their preferences. I also just emailed my venue and they said if someone has an issue, they can send their plate back.

And thanks everyone! I feel better now!

OliveOilsMom · January 2013

We had a sit down dinner with 3 options. My venue did not need a count of each item unless I had upgraded to their higher meal options. My venue also provided menus to each guest, so that when they sat for dinner, they saw their three choices for dinner.

flojo973 · January 2013

Agree that this might be a regional thing but I wouldn't be worried about it. Your meal sounds fine. Most weddings I've been to have a choice (either on the rsvp card or tableside) but I wouldn't think it was weird if there was not a choice.

aurianna · January 2013

We gave choices for ours, but I've been to lots of weddings without choices beforehand. If there's no choice on the invite, as a guest I always assume it's buffet, duet or chicken.
The only time it was a bad surprise was when the only main course was fish... ew...

Chicken is usually a very safe option and your meal sounds yummy. No worries.

[Deleted User] · January 2013

I think you're fine. I have been at weddings like this before and the only time it was a problem was when there was a duet of things that people really wouldn't eat (like, people who aren't vegetarian, but hate fish and it's a fish and beef duet). However, I think your options are much more universal and will work out fine.

jennyd412 · January 2013

I think it's fine. Chicken and pasta are safe meals for most. Also, if anybody has a food issue/allergy they would probably contact you even without a choice listed. For example, I am severely allergic to shrimp and I live in New England, so it is common on menus. My sister has a severe gluten intolerance. If we were going to a wedding with no listed choices, we would contact the bride or groom just to check in. This is particularly true for my sister because even with a choice, she needs to confirm her meal can be prepared GF with no contamination.

GinaV0822 · January 2013

I have never been to a wedding where I was given an option for a plated meal. With that said, our venue does allow it. I had thought about giving an option of chicken or a filet. But, the venue said if we do that then we pay the higher price for ALL meals regardless. Filet was 103 and chicken was only 88. That's a big difference to us, what if the majority chose chicken? So we went with a combo plate of chicken and beef.

I think your meal sounds great!

monkeysip · January 2013

I wouldn't worry about it. They're getting a free meal, so unless they have allergies to any of it (which I hope you would know about or they would tell you), they'll be fine.

Our venue has the option of chicken, salmon, or steak, but I only offered my guests chicken or salmon because the beef was $10 more expensive. Call me a cheapskate, but I think just chicken or salmon is fine. The chicken is really good there, and I haven't had the salmon but I'm sure it's good because it's a good restaurant.

I didn't put a vegetarian choice listed because I'm pretty sure we have no vegetarians. But there was a line for "special dietary needs", so I hope people will let me know if they're vegetarian/vegan or allergic to anything.

NOLAbridealmost · January 2013

Not rude at all as long as you accommodate reasonable requests (which you are by accommodating vegetarians etc.) Do I prefer a choice? Sure. But am I appreciative of the meal if there is no choice? Of course. You are properly hosting your guests by having food and beverage available free of charge.

No menu choices for a sit down dinner?

Re: No menu choices for a sit down dinner?

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