Florida-Central Florida

Not happy about planning the BIG DAY

I haven't been very active on these boards lately. The main reason for that has been because this wedding planning--so far--has really not been a lof of fun. The problem is we are getting married in the Greek Orthodox Church, and there are sooo many time throughout the year when weddings can't be done. I am finishing on my last year at Stetson University, conducting a Senior Research Experiement, working around 25 hours a week, and commuting 2 hours a day. So I have no time right now to start looking at venues. From Aug-Nov my FI works around 15 hr days, so we really can't start looking until the first of the next year. We have narrowed it down to these months to get married: very end of Jan, first 3 weeks of Feb, last week of April, June, and July.  Oh, and the Greek Orthodox religion won't perform wedding cermonies during Lent.

Secondly, I can't stand the Greek Priest who will be marrying us (and there are only 2 in the entire central florida area!). We are getting married in the Greek church b/c it will mean a lot to my dad, who is also paying for the wedding. Even though we will never go back to that church, we have to lie and say we will raise our kids Greek Orthodox and all of this BS. Then, I had to get re-baptized b/c I've received communion elsewhere. My poor MOH had to get a formal letter from her church saying that she is in good standing with the church (and pay around $100 to become a member). Plus, my dad has to end up paying $1000 to have this wedding in a church we won't have anything to do with later. He knows this, and he's fine with it. He just wants to see me married there.

I'm sure all of you know how it is with venues in Orlando. From what I heard they book super fast. So if we are thinking a 2012 spring wedding, we freaking have to wait until april 2011 to book. It's so crazy. Then we have to make sure it's OK with the church b/c they have SO many rules.

Everyone is also SO excited about our wedding, and when made our list it looks like we will have at least 200. Plus, we have to find a venue close to the church for the reception. I know these places are going to be SO expensive. I am just starting to feel like it's the biggest waste of money. I mean, it doesn't make my marriage any less of a marriage without all the hoopla. I just want this day to be about me and my FI not about all the ridiculous preparations. I always dreamed of having this over-the-top wedding with all of the trimmings. But I am at the point if we just went down to city hall and had a party afterwards with our closest friends and family that be great too. Or if we had an intimate ceremony on the beach and went on a 2-week honeymoon. I just don't want to look back and say ''wow, i can't believe we spent this much money on a wedding,'' when all that really matters is that me and my FI can't wait to start our future together. I don't think anything can top that feeling.

I haven't told my parents my feelings, but I told my FI and he wants whatever makes me happy. Has anyone ever felt this way? during the wedding process? after? I am sure some of u might think I am crazy, but oh well Smile

Re: Not happy about planning the BIG DAY

  • edited December 2011
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  • edellisedellis member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_florida-central-florida_not-happy-planning-big-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:66Discussion:15cd25ee-ffb1-4168-9d8f-5bcefcb91d16Post:e84fd6b8-4484-4fdc-819b-21e942539391">Re: Not happy about planning the BIG DAY</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Not happy about planning the BIG DAY : WOOHOO!! Go Hatters! I graduated there in 2006 and got my Masters in 2007! As far as wedding planning, sorry I can't say I've felt the same. For the most part, I have enjoyed the planning. So, I just want to say good luck! Take deep breaths and relax. We are doing the small immediate family only and then a reception with everyone. In the end, do what will make you and Fi happy. If you don't want to do certain things, sit down with your family and talk about it, hopefully they will understand.
    Posted by Britt1406[/QUOTE]


    It's SO funny to find a former Hatter on here :)) Thanks for the advice. I feel the more elaborate this wedding gets, the more we have to drag it out (I just want to get married already!), and the more money my parents have to spend. But when you are inviting people from out of town (flying in from MD and IN) I feel that people ''kinda'' expect something over-the-top. I mean they expect a great meal at a very nice place with all the trimmings, and I can't blame them. I mean it's not cheap for a family of four to fly and spend a weekend in a hotel. I feel the reception is a way for the bride and groom to say ''Thank you'' to the guests. But it just seems so overwhelming right now. I am sure being in school is making me want to reprioritize also. I am more concerned about finding a great job or considering post-grad school then planning this HUGE wedding. I almost feel like not making this into a great, big party until I can bring home an income! I think I am just discovering what is most important to me right now, and it's not all of the fluff. I really just want to get down to the nitty gritty so we can start our lives together. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />
  • edited December 2011
    Did you decide to get married at Holy Trinity?

    If so you could look at the Ballroom there, it was really pretty, affordable, and even though they have a list of people you can use, I think I remember her telling me I could choose someone else if I wanted. They had a small bridal room, and it is close to the Sheraton, Hilton and Embassy Suites (and a few others) which are pretty affordable for guests.


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  • edited December 2011

    I am sorry you feel this way, getting married in a Catholic Church has lots of rules as well.  While yes idealy it is supposed to be about you two, you are right it is for the parents and the family as well.  This is much of their celebration as yours.  Part of your stress has to be related to school and not know the future after school. I know for myself I didn't even want to think about us planning a wedding till I was graduated and had a job.  Remember to take some deep breaths and hugs from your FI will make you feel a little better.  I understand the stress with parents my FI and I are both only children and our moms both want to be SUPER involved in everything. So I am walking constently a fine line with them.  It can be very stressful.  Also this is your wedding you don't have to invite everyone if you don't want to, it is who means the most to you and your family, not who wants to invite themselves.

  • ashbosityashbosity member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Stetson Hatter, graduated winter 2002! So, bumbblebe, you and I were there at the same time, as well as Alyssa (PrettyParula). Her and I were RAs together! I love Stetson!

    edellis, did you think about maybe just doing a small ceremony fairly soon and then doing  a reception next year? Not sure if that would make family mad, but if it makes you happy, it might be easier. Good luck!
  • Theresa626Theresa626 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well, you need to do what makes you happy.  If you want to pay for it yourself, cut the guest list down and do something small without the greek orthodox church, you should consider it. But, also consider that if you have a super small budget, it's going to be incredibly difficult to pay for 200 guests and feed them all. If you want something moderately nice, you'd have to cut that guest list down.  If you think you'll regret not having a nice fancy wedding in the future, then let your dad pay for it and deal with the crap from the church.  Either way, you'll be married.  

    I also dealt with crap from the catholic church although I know I didn't have nearly as much to deal with as you.  The venue I wanted put a hold on the date I wanted without a deposit.  When someone else was interested, they called me to let me know.  That way, I could change what date I wanted at the church if need be.  I also couldn't book my date till a year in advance at the church. 
  • jmucheech21jmucheech21 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry you are feeling this way about the planning.  =(  Maybe you don't have to wait as long as you think.. if you could pick out a couple of places and really narrow it down to go visit, then maybe you wouldn't have to wait so long to pick a venue.  Also, you could hire a coordinator who may be able to help you narrow your selections so that you can make a few visits here and there.

    I understand its frustrating to feel like you are waiting forever to get married.  I got engaged in Feb and we aren't getting married until Nov 2011 (a total of 21 months of engagement).  Its only been 7 months so far and already it feels like FOREVER.  I wish we didn't have to wait so long, but we really needed the time to save the money.  Unfortunately neither of us have families that were able to pay for our wedding, so it was all on us. 

    Best of luck with everything!!!  =)  Let us know if there is anything we can do to help.  We are all here to support eachother afterall!!
  • edellisedellis member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks, everyone for the support and advice. I talked things over with my FI in great detail, and we are on the same page. I figured out the reason I have been stressing is b/c I have been trying to focus on wedding planning + finishing up my last semster at Stetson + plus stressing out about finding a job after I graduate. I was starting to feel like planning this HUGE wedding was not as imporant as worrying about finding a job and/or grad school.

    So we are going to put the planning on simmer for a while so I get through my last semester at college, then apply to grad school. I just have been trying to worry about too much right now. I told him I was uneasy about getting married when I won't have a stable job until I finish my graduate degree in nursing (May 2013). But sometimes, that's just life.  He knows I am working towards a goal, and I will succeed b/c I am talented.  I just can be so Type A sometimes.  I need to have everything a certain way, but you can't always expect htings to happen that way in life. I am so thankful that me and my FI can talk about these things and always end up on the same page. So, we will def have our big wedding soon enough, just redirecting our focus right now :)
  • kaest4kaest4 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Stress has made me do the same thing, I stopped planning all together, I just went to a friends wedding last night and she gave me some advice- take it piece by piece, just one thing at a time, otherwise you get very overwhelmed. Good Luck.
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