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how to politely telling someone no children allowed at reception** HELP

lanelle09lanelle09
10 Comments
in Ohio-Northeast
Hello Ladies,
My dilemna is as follows. My invitations did not state adult only. I went with the general rule of thumb of whom you address your invitation to is who is invited. So if it said mr and mrs then that was it, if it said and family then that would mean the family is invited. Right? well... wrong. I have had several reply cards back with families wanting to bring there children when I did not invite the children.
Please help me figure out how I politely tell these people not to bring there children because they were not invited. I have already over invited by 65 ppl as is and I just cannot afford the extra heads. Let alone I do not want toddlers and teenagers running around. Only children will be the wedding party.
Thank you all for the help!!! Laughing
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Re: how to politely telling someone no children allowed at reception** HELP

  • jaylii9jaylii9 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is a tough situation. We are not including children at our wedding either and I know we will run into some issues.

    Anyways, I think you need to give these families a call and let them know directly that the invitation was only for the people addressed on the envelope (the parents). I would also mention that the guest list is very tight and there is simply no extra room at the venue to include more guests. People can't really argue with lack of space! Honestly, make the calls, say what you need to say, but lose sleep over this because you did properly address the invites! It's a tough issue, I know.
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  • pakarufuspakarufus
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was a "rude" bride and put "adults only" on my invitations.  I know some people here don't like that but in my area it is a very common practise.  I have already prepared myself to make the phone calls and explain to people that they cannot bring the children because of limited space/finances. 
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  • lanelle09lanelle09
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thank you both for being polite about the matter. I have called a handful and they totally understand. Most were very nice. Had to leave a voicemail for one which I had felt bad about but I had no choice. :(
    I posted a question on a general knot etiquette board and it caused a catty warfare. I am so glad that the local Ohio board is soooo much nicer. There was no need for those othere ladies to cuss at me and telll me I was stupid. Ugh.
    I did over invite but its not a big deal. My hall can hold it and I can cover it. Me and my Fiance are softies and did not want anyone left out. It happens. Its only going to happen once so why not.
    Happy Wedding planning ladies. Thank you again! Laughing
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  • jaylii9jaylii9 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with you! I ahve always loved the NE Ohio Knottie girls. They are always helpful and kind even if they don't exactly agree with me.

    I used to post on my month board but stopped months ago because the girls were mean. Seemed like it wasn't worth my time to post over there.
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  • Jenny8117Jenny8117
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I dont think its bad at all to tell people no children.  I have about 45 friends who have kids under the age of 3, so I knew I would have to say something right away.  It would have been a mad house.  Luckily they didn't WANT their kids to come, because they wanted to drink and enjoy their day!  Many of the husbands and wives with kids are also IN the wedding, so it would have been impossible.  I made it easy by having no flower girl or ring bearer, as we have no kids in our family.  Just friends with kids.  When people see there will literally be NO KIDS, its a easy choice. :) Get a babysitter for one night people!! haha
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  • lanelle09lanelle09
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies! I appreciate the politeness really. I am just still baffled by the etiquette boards.... Girls are ruthless and mean.
    I have made some phone calls and people are very understanding. Nobody mad yet, thank goodness. Have a few more calls to make. :)

    Have a nice day ladies!! :)
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  • pakarufuspakarufus
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I saw the results of your post on the other board. People are so cruel.   I have washed my hands of all boards but the local and May boards.  These have the only nice people.  I was completely bashed on the Beauty Board because, GASP,  I am wearing a tiara and had the nerve to ask for hairstyle suggestions!!!  Good Luck on your planning, and avoid the other boards at all costs, LOL!
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  • cwheels82cwheels82
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I just wanted to throw out some suggestions for anyone expecting to have this issue.   I did a pocketfold invite and on the response card had the line"  "We have reserved ___ seats in your honor."  I had to write in the number, but it made it really obvious how many people could come (we had the issue with guests and such as well since we only invited significant others that were involved when we initially made the guest list).  I did my own invites but was lucky enough to have some good friends at a local fancy invite company help me out with wording and such. 

    I also hired a few high school girls to babysit in a room at the hotel.  That made it easy for anyone coming in from out of town.  

    HTH!  And I totally agree about other boards.  I go on the nest sometimes now and people on there can be pretty rude as well! 
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  • lanelle09lanelle09
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    thanks for all the help!! :)  9 dayssss!!! OMG
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