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June 2013 Weddings
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What's in a name?!?!

JenniferR2JenniferR2 member
in June 2013 Weddings
Sorry this is long...

So my name is Jennifer and I go by Jen to friends and Jennifer at work.  My fiance's last name is Lopes.... NOT KIDDING!  Now it is pronounced like slopes but without the S and not like Lopez but EVERYONE pronounces incorrectly as Lopez.  I have always wanted to keep my last name (even before I met him) but now I want to keep it even more.  He comes from a family where his Dad has passed when he was an infant, mother is remarried with more kids all with the last name Smith, and no real relatives with his name.  He is set on keeping his name and that the kids and I would have his name as well.  I get the kids name being his but I really A) want to keep my name and B) do not want to be called Jennifer Lopez all the time.  He has now come to the agreement that I could do a hyphen and take both last names but I worry about having that to write for the rest of my life.  What do you all think?  To hyphenate or not to hyphenate that is the question....
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Re: What's in a name?!?!

  • sparkles776sparkles776 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I think its an incredibly personal decision. I definitely understand why you would want to hyphenate, and I think it is a good compromise. My FI would be incredibly hurt if I didnt take his last name. I think another compromise I would make is that your kids have his last name, no hyphens...and welcome to the board! we would love to hear about your wedding!
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  • sfischer87sfischer87 member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited June 2012
    I agree that it is a personal decision.  For me, it's about respect.  I feel so proud to be taking his last name, and I also feel that he would be hurt if I told him I didn't want to take it.  And get this... it's Mulaosmanovic. Try pronouncing THAT! Wink

    Also, my director at work didn't take her husband's last name when they got married, and now her 7 and 8 year old kids are wondering why her last name is different and want her to change it to their's and their dad's.
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  • cnf2013cnf2013 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I agree that it is a personal decision. I like the idea of making sure the kids have his last name and not a hyphenated version. 

    I myself am going from one silly last name to another. My last name is Nye so I get the "is your dad's name Bill" question all the time. And I'll become Mrs. Fields once married... like the cookies. So yeah.

    One of my BM's hyphenated after she got married and now hates it. She says it's a huge pain in the arse and wishes she had just taken his last name and goes by it socially and at work. She only uses her hyphenated name legally as needed. 
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  • bar10521bar10521 member
    100 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I agree that it's a personal decision. For me hyphenating would make my name too long. So I'm going to movie my last name to a second middle name and take his as my last name. Basically now I'm Jane Marie Doe and after we get married I'll be Jane Marie Doe Smith and go by Jane Smith. 

    Even though I'm excited to get married I'm less than thrilled with his last name becoming mine. My name ends in -ka and his starts with Ca so I feel like it's an awkward pronunciation. Also no one can ever spell my first name and now they'll never be able to spell either name lol.
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  • rmp4996rmp4996 member
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    I think you should give it some serious thought, and really consider how both of you feel. Hyphenating would be long, and I feel like with hyphenated names, usually people don't feel like saying the whole thing and you end of with one of the others being said socially. I will be taking my FI last name because I like the tradition behind it, though I think my parents would be happy if I kept mine since I'm my mom's only child. But I have a half brother with 2 boys and a cousin who also has boys, so my last name (Peterson) will live on through them which makes my choice to change mine easier. I am going to become May, so if I don't take Peterson as my middle name I'll be Rachel Martha May. I get 1 of 2 things all the time: 1) "Aww, that name sounds like a southern belle" (Proceed to say it again with a southern accent) which I don't 100% get but whatever, or 2) "If you have a daughter, are you going to name her April?"
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  • emilyb213emilyb213 member
    500 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper

    It's definitely a personal decision. For me, I've known for a very long time that I didn't want to change my last name. My mom didn't want to change hers when she was married, and let herself be pressured into it by her mother. She told all of her daughters that she regretted not keeping her maiden name, and that really stuck with me. My fiance is definitely not in love with the idea, but it's my name. I thought about hyphenating, but I have a hard to pronounce Eastern European last name, and he has a hard to pronounce Italian last name, and he's even said that our last names together are hard to say and sound strange together. Legally, I'm going to keep my maiden name but I'm not going to be offended if someone sends us Christmas cards to Mr. & Mrs. Hisname. Additionally, if we have kids, they will have his last name. It's not a decision I made lightly, but I know I'd regret it if I did change my last name.

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