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Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
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Ceremony 911

brandidusobrandiduso member
First Comment
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
I had always intended to get married at the Catholic Church that I went to as a kid even though I'm not a regular church goer.  It was meaningful to me because it was from my childhood and is where my parents and grandparents got married. The thing is, the more time I spend in the pre cana, the more upset with the Church I become.  On top of that, I have a man of honor instead of a maid of honor and both priests that I talked to were very against it.  The man of honor is my best friend.  It's non-negotiable for me.  I'm just not sure that's the place to begin our marriage.  The problem is, it has never occurred to me to be married anywhere else, so I don't have any other idea where we could go.  We have less than six months now to make a change if we are going to and I just don't know what to do.  I want something personal and meaningful.  Any ideas or suggestions would be such a help.
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Re: Ceremony 911

  • vanityinkvanityink member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Does it mater to you if you don't have a Catholic ceremony? Catholic ceremonies must take place in a church and you must follow what your priest says from what I understand. There is little to no customization.

    If you don't care about that, you can just look for other venues who are available on your date and hire an officiant/see if a friend can be an officiant for you.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    If you're becoming upset by it, it sounds like you should choose another route. If you're not a regular church goer, I don't understand how being married in the church that USED to matter to you matters now.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • brandidusobrandiduso member
    First Comment
    I think we have decided that a church wedding isn't "us".  It shouldn't be so upsetting!  I'm a little afraid of an outdoor venue because of it being in July.  I don't want to bake our guests!  I'm looking for ideas to personalize the ceremony, make it special and about us.  It honestly never occurred to me before to be married anywhere other than a church, so I'm completely out of my element here.  I think it could be really neat; I just don't know quite how we want to do it.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    If you're looking for a new ceremony site, the women on the DC board may be able to make specific recommendations. You'll find it under 'Local Wedding Boards' in the column on the left.

      <<<<-------------------over there.

    Is there a reason that you couldn't just have your ceremony and reception at the same location?
                       
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  • brandidusobrandiduso member
    First Comment
    Actually, no, there isn't.  My first thought was the reception hall.  My mom was the one who said that we should book something else if we weren't at the church
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    There is nothing wrong with having your ceremony at the reception hall. It will make things easier for everyone and you'll have one venue to decorate instead of two.

                       
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  • jennylee813jennylee813 member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I agree with PPs. Have the ceremony at the reception site, but also heed CMGR's warning: your marriage won't be recognized by the church. You both need to decide if that's important to you.

    Personally, I much prefer the idea of having a ceremony that we've created ourselves.
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  • erinlin25erinlin25 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ceremony-911?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:fd5a1a76-85ce-4d19-84fc-9eb1028c20aePost:209574b9-9394-432f-988d-d4235ed5ce1a">Re: Ceremony 911</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you're becoming upset by it, it sounds like you should choose another route. If you're not a regular church goer, I don't understand how being married in the church that USED to matter to you matters now.
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    This.  I was born and rasied Catholic, but I do not attend church regularly and as an adult have come to realize I may not agree 100% with all the aspects of the religion.  So I am definitely not getting married in the church (of course my parents and grandmother was dissappointed but they understood my reasoning).  We are having a beautiful outdoor ceremony and found a reverend that will marry us.  Remember a marriage is uniting two people, so you and your FI should look around places in your area and find something that represents you both.  Not just something that you used to identify with.  Especially if they do not share your same vision, I would look for something that does since it is important to you. 
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