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May 2012 Weddings
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Jealous BM!!!!

carlowgirl10carlowgirl10
100 Comments
in May 2012 Weddings
My one BM who i have been really good friends with all through college so 5 years, has a bf that REFUSES TO GET MARRIED...and she always said she wanted to get married..i always tell her to talk to him about it..or leave cuz he wont get married cuz his parents are divorced, and so are their parents...etc...well now that she is a BM in my wedding..she acts SOO JEALOUS!! she wont be happy for me for anything I do! 

She was originally going to do all of these games for my shower, but now says that she is too depressed to do anything and doesnt watn to help at all..
AND i mailed out my invites last week, and im not mailing my invites to my BMs..cuz ill see them all next weekend for the B-Party...she calls me... YELLNG that she wanted hers to be mailed.. WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL!?

what do i do? and are any of you guys going thru this?

(she is also being depressed/rude to our other good friend as well) we have tried to talk to her, but she just says that she hates her job and all of this stuff....idk what to do!)
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Re: Jealous BM!!!!

  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    It sounds like your friend is dealing with a lot! I would just talk to her and explain that you feel she is taking out her anger on her friends... maybe she doesn't realize? Ask her if there is anything you can do to help her during this difficult time. If she thinks that she might be depressed it might be a good idea for her to see a therapist because he or she will be able to help her deal with her depression.


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  • norweigannorweigan member
    100 Comments
    I kind of went through that when me and the fiance started dating (we were engaged within 7 months). We were very serious immediately, and basically knew as soon as we were exclusive that we were going to get married.
    Everyone was really happy for us, except one of my best girlfriends (who is now a bridesmaid in the wedding). She was in a horrible relationship at the time, and was extremely unhappy, and when me and the fiance started dating I could feel the tension, as could my fiance. He still doesn't really like her because of how she was towards him in the beginning.
    It so bad that friends would actually bring it up to me, and tell me they didn't know why she was being so weird. I told them I thought it was because she was so unhappy that she couldn't be happy for anyone else, and I wasn't going to expect her to.
    She totally changed her mind about him after her and her horrible boyfriend finally broke up (she found out he was cheating on her), and she started dating someone else (who she is now engaged to, and is getting married to 2 weeks before me). She apologized and everything, and has been nothing but supportive since then, but our relationship hasn't been the same (which makes me sad).
    All that said, I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, since I don't know what to do about it myself except that maybe one day she will see how ridiculous she is being. Hopefully...
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  • LilyWater09LilyWater09 member
    100 Comments
    I would sit down and talk to her.  If she does not change her tune, I would learn to tune her out. 
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  • LOMLBOATLOMLBOAT
    100 Comments
    I agree with PP, talk to her, or have a friend talk to her on your behalf.  It's always easier when someone can play both sides and with you as the bride it can be hard to have the time to try and accomodate for her.  I had a similar problem when my best friend for 10 years and I had a falling out a year before I got engaged.  Needless to say she is not in the WP, but our mutual friend is my MOH.  It caused a lot of problems in the beginning and I tried to help, but I couldn't give her what she wanted.  So my MOH stepped in and was able to plead my case, but also understand where my friend was coming from.

    If your friend wants her invite mailed, I'd say just do it.  Sometimes we have to bend a little for friends who are in tough situations, but at the end of the day, she needs to bend right now and be there for you during your wedding.
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