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April 2012 Weddings

Need help and opinions! - Kinda long, sorry :(

Hello Ladies! I need help, with 2 things, but first a little history....

My dad has MS, can no longer walk and is in a motorized scooter. The hardest thig for him in losing his mobility, is knowing my wedding is coming up and he will not be able to walk me down the aisle .I ofcourse, dont care if he is in his scooter walking me down the aisle but he says "That would hide too much of your dress" (How sweet is he?!) So I came up with idea of getting him licensed to be our officiant... which because hes kinda a shy guy, he doesnt completely love. (lol). Anyways... to do this, we would ofcourse have to get him ordained and then licensed, which would be around $180  andb a pretty big challenge. So when talking to a co worker yesterday, and figuring out how i go about all this, (he just recently did the same thing for his step daughter, and said it was a big hassle) he gave me the idea of getting married at the Justice of the peace and then just have a "Show Ceremony". Which at that point, my dad would not have to be licensed. 

My question is... Does that kinda defeat the purpose of a big wedding?! Nobody ofcourse would know we're "already married", and we would only do it like a week before the wedding. Im so torn! Im afraid it wont be the same feeling, walking down the aisle. Ugh.. what do I do?!?! My FI ofcourse, doesnt care either way.. hes no help.

I do have another issue i need help with, but we'll save that for another post! HAHA Thanks in advance for your opinion!
~Melissa Photobucket

Re: Need help and opinions! - Kinda long, sorry :(

  • If your father is up for it- I think this would be a fabulous idea. I recently went to a ceremony where they did that exact same thing. They got married at the court house and then had a beeauuuttifffuull ceremony with their sister officiating. It was LOVELY! Who knows you and your FI better then your dad? It's SO beautiful.

    It doesn't at all defeat the purpose of the ceremony. In fact, I think it makes it even more meaningful. You can also have other family members and friends help. Have you seen the hands ceremony? It's lovely! http://www.weddingministerct.com/wedding-hand-blessing-ceremony.htm


  • Oh wow! I have never seen that done before, I LOVE IT! Thats a great website as well, thanks for sharing that!

    When I originally told my dad about this idea, he didnt jump for joy, but also didnt say he didnt like it. When my mom asked him.. He said no. Haha. Ofcourse he'll do it, once I tell him how much it means to me.

    I think my biggest concern is my FI, I want him to cry (Is that wrong!?!)! Im afraid that he'll have the "Ehh, Big deal, we're already married" attitude. (Hes a big rough tough, Mechanic, Contruction, Mr Fix it, im not having fun if im not tearing things apart and rebuilding em, kinda guy)
    ~Melissa Photobucket
  • I think going to the court house might just feel like another thing that needs to be done  before the wedding- similar to picking up the marriage certificate. Just play it off like it's no big deal. :)
  • WOW!  That is soo soo sweet!! Maybe only you and your FI can go to the justice of the peace.  Not even his family will know.  Maybe once he sees his parents getting emotional it will spark something.

    (I understand the crying thing ... I want my dad to cry LOL) ... But what if he doesn't cry even if you pass up the Justice of the Peace idea?
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    Not taking anybody (accept a witness ofcourse) is a great idea! I originally thought we'd take out parents, so they could be there for the "actual wedding". But that WOULD TOTALLY defeat the purpose of a ceremony. Def just gonna look at it as another "To do" :) Thanks ladies!

    ~Melissa Photobucket
  • I like the idea and agree with PP that it will more than likely just feel like another thing to take care of before the BIG DAY! On another note I just want to personally say my apologies to you and your family having to go through something as hard as MS! My mother was diagnosed with MS when I was 11 and it was a very hard thing to go through. My thoughts and prayers are with you all and I hope you can work out something to make this day completely magical!
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  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    edited April 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_need-opinions-kinda-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:21f4a253-a71e-4d10-a86b-075d305269c1Post:e9501d3a-f2d1-4723-9a00-99071a008212">Re: Need help and opinions! - Kinda long, sorry :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think going to the court house might just feel like another thing that needs to be done  <strong>before the wedding</strong>- similar to picking up the <strong>marriage certificate</strong>. Just play it off like it's no big deal. :)
    Posted by dlmoone6[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div><u>License</u>: What you get before the wedding ceremony. You,FI, officiant, and witness(s) sign and your officiant mails back to the city/county; Basically allows you to get married. </div><div><u>Certificate:</u> What is given to you from the city/county gov't after the license is processed to prove you are married, used for name changes, etc; Basically proves you are married 

    <div>Not trying to be snarky and you may have already known the difference, but I'd just like to point out there IS a difference. Often times these terms are used interchangeably and it can get confusing! I know I was confused.. Nothing personal, just trying to help others out. =D</div></div><div>
    </div><div>But yes, I agree with PPs, do what you want! I think this would be a wonderful idea and would not take away from the later ceremony at all. My thoughts are with you and yours!</div>
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  • Thanks ladies! You've helped immensely! I think ive made up my mind.

    Aimee, Im sorry to hear about your mom. MS, is def a horrible disease. My dad has had it now for 18 years, and has just recently lost most mobility. Hes a fighter and still goes to Physical Therapy. Maybe, just maybe he'll be walking by the wedding, and we'll have to hire a last min Officient. :) Thats def a last min change I'd be ok with!
    ~Melissa Photobucket
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