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Second Weddings

NWR: Trying to find another job (very long)

So my awful call center job has just added to my stress load, AGAIN... As a bit of a background for those who missed it or don't know, my job causes me no end of stress and it makes me sick. I have been working for 10 years of my life, I've lost count of how many different jobs i've held, and NOT ONE caused me more stress and anguish as this one does.

The start of this stress happened last year. I spent the ENTIRE YEAR stressed out of my bloody mind because they kept trying to fire me for attendance. They changed the attendance policy, so that you can't call out more than 3 times a year or else they'll start trying to fire you. Well, that was also the year we had -40 windchills and crazy amounts of snow, so I missed work twice because we couldn't get the car out of our parking spot. Then, I had to run FI to the ER one day early in the year, so that was number three. After that, they started writing me up and threatening me with termination the whole rest of the year. And they weren't kidding; they fired a friend of mine because he got in a car accident on the way to work and had to take an ambulance ride to the hospital, and they said that wasn't a valid excuse for missing work. Another friend was put on a final warning because she was pregnant and went into false labor on a workday.

I'm no slouch either, I exceed all expectations on my performance reviews. I have been honoured by my job repeatedly for excellent customer service, and for saving customers who otherwise would have cancelled their service. I've even been personally thanked by the Vice President of our multinational company, because a customer was SO PLEASED with my service that he wasn't satisfied with merely telling a supervisor about it. He personally contacted this VP, and raved about me. So I have a nice letter from her thanking me, and got an award, mention in our work newsletter, etc.

But ever since working at this job, I have had severe panic and anxiety attacks, completely crippling in their intensity. Customers are allowed to talk to us however they please, and most of them are ignorant and downright cruel, just because they can be. I've had to get FMLA to protect my job, because without it they would fire me for having a panic attack on the floor. I'm on antidepressants for the first time in my life, and having to pop 3 or 4 different kinds of pills during the day, and then another to be able to sleep at night because all the medicine keeps me awake. Now, they're messing with my FMLA, they got a new management company for the claims, and they aren't doing what they're supposed to. So I watch my attendance monitor in the system go from okay, to "Recommended for Termination" every other day.

Now, because of the FMLA usage, they're taking away ALL of my paid time off, my vacation time, my floating holidays, EVERYTHING, to pay me for FMLA usage. And now i'm out of accrued time, so every time I call out for FMLA I'm not getting paid at all. And they've cancelled my requested days for my wedding. I've talked to my manager, my manager's boss, the HR department, the director of the call center, ANYONE who will listen to me for 5 minutes. They've all told me I'm SOL. My only options are to call out on those days and risk more writeups or potential termination, or to get someone to switch their shift with me for that day so I can have their day off, and work on one of mine for them. Only problem is, very few people have weekends off, and the ones that have Sundays off (the day of my wedding) won't give it up. I mean, why would they want to work on a weekend if they don't have to? I've already talked to everyone with a Sunday off, and nobody will do it.

So here I am, 3 and a half months before my wedding, unable to pay for it because I'm not getting paid much because my job makes me sick. My job is driving me to insanity because they keep telling me that i'm not allowed to attend my own wedding. I'm sicker than I ever have been in my entire life. The only option I can think of is to find a job, ANY job, to replace it. But I'm concerned about our money situation too, I'd almost definitely take at least a 2 dollar an hour paycut. I'm just at my wit's end with all of this. FI wants me to try and stay until after the wedding, but what if I can't? What if I end up fired and have to find a job only a month away from the wedding? How can I be sure the job will let me have it off with so little notice? It's all really frustrating...

Re: NWR: Trying to find another job (very long)

  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    ((((HUGS)))) Oh, my ... I am so sorry you have to go through this.  I have worked in bad office environments, but never anything as toxic as the one with which you're dealing.  I understand the panic and "What if" questioning ... you can't help it.  I don't have any words of advice, other than try to get as much rest -- eat well, stay hydrated, take your meds -- as you can.  I will send good vibes your way!
  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks Lisa. I'm honestly stressing out in a major way about all of this. I put in applications at all the casinos in the area, hoping that they'll give me a chance to do SOMETHING. And I'm gonna go to a few of the restaurants in the area, one of which I know for a fact is hiring. I know I could probably do better, but to be honest, getting any job that's not the one I have now would be an improvement even if it doesn't pay much. :/
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Hang in there!
  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011

    I agree, hang in there. FWIW, I had a long term job years ago that stressed me out to the max. Every day I walked in and felt like my desk was a triage unit, and I had to find the work that was "bleeding" the most, needing my attention.

    That was 8 years ago. Since then I've had 2 jobs I LOVE, the last one didn't pay what I needed, and now after almost 5 years in my current job, I'm happy as a pig in mud.

    Crisis and stress are harmful, but in the end make you appreciate where you end up that much more.


    Here's hoping you have some great news in the future about a happier job you find.


    Good luck.

  • edited December 2011
    If you were my friend and I was having coffee with you one morning and you told me of this situation here is what I would tell you:

    Quit.

    I know the economy sucks and finding new jobs are hard - but the amount of time and energy you are spending on being sick and stressing is not worth it.  Not for a call center job.  (Now if you tell me you are in a management track and its part of your career plan - we might change the conversation - but if its "just a job"...)

    You have to be healthy to get another job.  If you were to get terminated tomorrow - you would be in no shape mentally/physically to find a new job.  But if you do it on your terms you can explain as needed.

    Good luck!
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Firey - if they fire you, you will be entitled to unemployment benefits; granted it's not a lot of money but it beats the heck out of all the stress.  Then you can begin an earnest work search.

    Also I would talk to an EEOC counselor, they do not pursue the potential claim unless there have been other complaints about threatening or unfair labor practices.  They also do not tell the company who complained - but they do look into unfair labor practices and they can give you some great advice.  I was told to note everything that happened at a horrid job I had.. I was one of 5 complaints and they moved on forcing some changes to the way the company operated and treated women.
  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Wow that doesn't seem very fair.  Must be how it works in large organizations.  I used to work in a hospital setting and they wouldn't care if you saved 600 lives per shift as long as you didn't

    a. punch in and out at the incorrect times
    b. have all OT authorized
    c. exceed your 40 hours per week
    d. exceed PTP time
    e. ask for review and/or raise at any time other than the 1 time of year that reviews were done.

    Sometimes that's just the way it is :(  However, if this job is causing so much anxiety it's best that you either get fired or quit.  Quit would look better to potential employers.  You can't let it burn you out like this.
  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_nwr-trying-another-job-very-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:d1deae73-f1a8-49bd-86d2-14e7266c6713Post:0b4f576f-90f6-4737-b5f0-782d07688ab0">Re: NWR: Trying to find another job (very long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Firey - if they fire you, you will be entitled to unemployment benefits; granted it's not a lot of money but it beats the heck out of all the stress.  Then you can begin an earnest work search. Also I would talk to an EEOC counselor, they do not pursue the potential claim unless there have been other complaints about threatening or unfair labor practices.  They also do not tell the company who complained - but they do look into unfair labor practices and they can give you some great advice.  I was told to note everything that happened at a horrid job I had.. I was one of 5 complaints and they moved on forcing some changes to the way the company operated and treated women.
    Posted by MikesAngie[/QUOTE]


    Actually Angie, I wouldn't be able to get unemployment benefits. One of the things about being a multinational company, is they can afford expensive lawyers. They have an ENTIRE subdivision of their legal department set aside JUST for the sole purpose of fighting unemployment benefit requests. And to be honest I guess I can't blame them, if they had to pay unemployment for all the people they fired, they'd be out of business fast, because they have a ridiculous turnover rate.

    I really appreciate everyone showing support to me. At this point I know I honestly cannot just quit the job without some replacement, we'd never be able to stay afloat, not even for a month or two. I've found some different places I can try, I've been applying for lots of waitress positions at high-end restaurants, and drink server positions at the casinos. It doesn't make much as base pay, but I know those are the jobs that give the best tips. The way I figure it, if I work at a restaurant where it's like $30+ a person to eat, and they usually have big business meetings and such so there's always lots of people, if I only handle a few parties in a night, I'd still be pulling in good tips. And I know it's not permanent, it'd just be something for the time being while I finish school, but it would hold us over, easily.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_nwr-trying-another-job-very-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:d1deae73-f1a8-49bd-86d2-14e7266c6713Post:0b4f576f-90f6-4737-b5f0-782d07688ab0">Re: NWR: Trying to find another job (very long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Firey - if they fire you, you will be entitled to unemployment benefits; granted it's not a lot of money but it <strong>beats the heck out of all the stress.  Then you can begin an earnest work search. Also I would talk to an EEOC counselor, they do not pursue the potential claim unless there have been other complaints about threatening or unfair labor practices.  They also do not tell the company who complained - but they do look into unfair labor practices and they can give you some great advice.  I was told to note everything that happened at a horrid job I had.. I was one of 5 complaints and they moved on forcing some changes to the way the company operated and treated women</strong>.
    Posted by MikesAngie[/QUOTE]

    All of this.
    Anniversary
  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Just an update, I have a job interview tomorrow for the Walgreens near our apartment. I already know most of the people there, because FI has a health condition so we're ALWAYS in there getting his prescriptions. It will likely mean taking a 3 dollar an hour paycut, but when I sat down and thought about it, I realized this: I'm currently working part time at my crappy job. If I work fulltime at Walgreens (which I already know from past experience working at CVS that I will likely enjoy it), I will make the same amount as I do at my current job. And to be honest, considering i'm taking unpaid days off from work too for FMLA, and I won't be doing that at Walgreens anymore, I'll technically be making more there. So the tradeoff is, I have to work one extra day a week in exchange for my sanity. I think I can live with it. :)
  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Good luck with the job interview!!  I hope you get it, because it will be worth it to have your sanity again.
  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    *sigh* so I went into the interview... the job was right, the pay wasn't bad (about 1.75 more an hour than I expected, but still a paycut), they were going to offer me the job... but they can only give me like 15-20 hours a week. And they can't guarantee that there will ever be a time when they can give me more hours. :( I really want the position and I would love working there, but I have to be making enough money for us to live on... ugh. Back to the drawing board...
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_nwr-trying-another-job-very-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:d1deae73-f1a8-49bd-86d2-14e7266c6713Post:5dce7fec-7d94-4d90-84a8-3270eaf7ce7a">Re: NWR: Trying to find another job (very long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]*sigh* so I went into the interview... the job was right, the pay wasn't bad (about 1.75 more an hour than I expected, but still a paycut), they were going to offer me the job... but they can only give me like 15-20 hours a week. And they can't guarantee that there will ever be a time when they can give me more hours. :( I really want the position and I would love working there, but I have to be making enough money for us to live on... ugh. Back to the drawing board...
    Posted by fireytiger[/QUOTE]

    This is progress, firey.  Really.  Do you need one full time job (for benefits or other reasons)?  If not, maybe this job and another PT job can be the solution.  You're on the right track.  Hang in there!  Good things will come your way.
  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Unfortunately we can't afford for me not to be working fulltime. The pharmacy wants me to have totally open availability because they have to schedule everyone fairly, so everyone has to work days, nights, weekends, etc. Which is fine, but they can only offer me 15-20 hours a week, and on top of the pay cut i'd take to accept the job and drop my current one, that's not even enough to pay my rent every month. :/ So I'm gonna have to turn it down, I can't have open availability for a job that can't give me hours.

    I'm not giving up yet, it at least gave me the confidence to know that I AM capable of nailing a job interview. I just need to find the right job that can give me hours. I don't care about benefits, etc. because FI can get me those. But it's gotta pay the bills, y'know? There's a few new restaurants in the area that are opening up soon, I might apply for those. And I do have a good shot at one restaurant I already applied to, they will be looking to hire people in the next month or so, and seemed interested in having me come in for an interview. So we'll see if that pans out. Worst case scenario, I may have to stick out my current job for a couple more months.
  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    So I missed work again yesterday and today, and so I sat down with FI and thought about how things are going with money and this job. I know this isn't sustainable, I'm almost out of FMLA time, I only get 3 more days until August that I can call out. I'm at my wit's end, this morning I couldn't even get out of bed. When I dragged myself out, I collapsed to the floor and couldn't get back up, FI had to drag me back into bed.

    I figured out that because of all the calling out i've been doing the past 6 months, I actually haven't been bringing in more than 400-600 dollars a month to the household. Hell, there's actually been two months where half of my checks were either nonexistent or under 100 dollars. I was focusing on how much earning potential I had at my current job, but not on the fact that in the past 6 months, only once have I brought in more money than I would make at Walgreens working 20 hours a week. And with me calling out all the time, there is resentment brewing between me and FI. He is upset and worried about my health, but at the same time he's getting increasingly upset and resentful at the fact that he's the one going to work all the time and I'm just calling out all the time. It feels bad. I feel like i'm letting him down.

    So I've decided, I'm going to take the Walgreens job after all. Money is going to be stupidly tight for awhile, i'm still gonna have to look for something else either as a second job or a replacement job that pays better. But overall, I think it's the best thing for me to do. Tomorrow I will put in my 2 weeks notice at my current job (I don't want to burn bridges), and then I will get my paperwork done for Walgreens. I'm honestly really looking forward to it, both with apprehension and excitement. :) Thanks ladies for all your support.
  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_nwr-trying-another-job-very-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:d1deae73-f1a8-49bd-86d2-14e7266c6713Post:5c3ce996-3ed3-4d83-8be9-eac25ec9402c">Re:  NWR: Trying to find another job (very long)</a>:
    [QUOTE] So I've decided, I'm going to take the Walgreens job after all. Money is going to be stupidly tight for awhile, i'm still gonna have to look for something else either as a second job or a replacement job that pays better. But overall, I think it's the best thing for me to do. Tomorrow I will put in my 2 weeks notice at my current job (I don't want to burn bridges), and then I will get my paperwork done for Walgreens. I'm honestly really looking forward to it, both with apprehension and excitement. :) Thanks ladies for all your support.
    Posted by fireytiger[/QUOTE]

    Hang in there.  Just my $0.02 ... maybe put the paperwork in at Walgreen's first and then put in your notice at your current job.  Just to be safe???

    It sounds like you and FI really needed to have the discussion and, it seems, it will lead to better things for you down the road.  Here's a visual for you.  When driving, there is the big windshield in front of you and the small rear view mirror showing what's behind you.  What's ahead of you is bigger and more important than what's fading away in the background.  (((HUGS)))
  • fireytigerfireytiger member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Well, the job is mine at Walgreens. The paperwork is all things like tax forms, getting my background check, and drug test. I know i'm not doing drugs, and my background is clean other than a bankruptcy (which I disclosed and they said was irrelevant, they're worried about things like criminal background).

    FI is a bit upset because he's worried about money, but I would rather take this job now, than continue living with resentment. He said he felt a bit bad for telling me today that he was starting to resent the fact that I'm calling out so much. But I know how he feels, last year the roles were reversed. I was totally prevented from calling out for any reason, and FI had FMLA so he was calling out (what felt like) all the time. And I resented him for calling out when I had to go to a job every day that made me miserable and sick. He isn't miserable and sick at work, and the job doesn't seem to affect him so much. But it's obvious that i'm just getting worse and worse, and something needs to change.
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