Earn cash as you plan. Get a $20 gift card for every 200 points with The Knot Rewards
Not Engaged Yet
SO's family?
Call me crazy, but I always pictured everything would 'click' with my in-laws. BF's family is nice enough, and we get along ok, but we're not really close. His brother and sister-in-law are close in age to us, so I thought that could potentially make for some fun but they have really different personalities from me. BF's mom is a whole other story in itself. For one thing, she's the pickiest eater I have ever seen in my life and I dread every time we have to eat out with her or cook for her.
I'm not complaining about anything, I guess things are just different from what I pictured in my head.
How do you get along with your in-laws/future in-laws/bf's family?
I'm not complaining about anything, I guess things are just different from what I pictured in my head.
How do you get along with your in-laws/future in-laws/bf's family?
5/19/12
This discussion has been closed.
Re: SO's family?
It's a well known fact at this point that BF & I have known each other since we're little kids... so our families are well-aquainted at this point... I was pretty close with his sister when I was younger but when we started dating last year, I started to see a different side of her... she's a drama-queen and a crazy b*tch... but I tend to ignore her as much as possible... BF's mother is nice and quiet, just like BF so we get along very well...
[QUOTE]The only person I've met in FI's family is his niece, since she lives here. His dad and sister live in Florida. I've talked to them on the phone several times and have emailed with them lots. I get along pretty well with his sister. His dad and step-mom love me, although they drive me a bit crazy (they are nice). My parents have talked to his dad and step-mom on the phone and just said WOW. His dad & step-mom are very religious (we are, too, but no where near like this, they go to church 5-7 days a week) and they do get a bit preachy sometimes. <strong>I've just learned to ignore most of that or change the subject after a while and it works for us.</strong>
Posted by AngieD&JoeD[/QUOTE]
I'm starting to learn to do this too. Sometimes bf's mom just goes on and on complaining about something, and eventually bf and his dad will just completely change the subject and ignore her. At first I thought it was kinda rude but now I see it's necessary lol.
Married!
Mostly because they live on the other side of the ocean, and we see them once a year. The fact that they don't speak a lick of English may also have something to do with it ;-)
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: SO's family? : I'm starting to learn to do this too. Sometimes bf's mom just goes on and on complaining about something, and eventually bf and his dad will just completely change the subject and ignore her.<strong> At first I thought it was kinda rude but now I see it's necessary lol.
</strong>Posted by mookow86[/QUOTE]
Sometimes, it's the ONLY way to keep the peace... this is what I do with BF's sister, also... which makes it worse sometimes because she just wants attention and when she doesnt get it, she keeps going until she gets some...
But the way I see it...Yeah, I care if they like me, but it's not a dealbreaker for him or I if either of our families don't like the other's SO.
EDIT: But my family pretty much LOVES my BF!
However, his mom can be a bit...opinionated. We're all very liberal, but his mom is one of those who just can't see another person's side of things, and will essentially go, "Oh. They're Republican/conservative. No need to try to be friends with them." This isn't anything she makes apparent when in mixed company and is always polite to people no matter what, but when she's in like company she'll talk about it. It's a bit uncomfortable sometimes, especially since my best friend is conservative. She's also very, very slightly racist. Not in an outright harmful way, but sometimes she'll say something that will make you choke on your soda. Overall though, she's a lovely woman and very sweet.
Now BF's sister...I love her. She's fun and stuff, but she confuses me. She's one of those people who can be laughing it up and having fun, but someone could say something very small and she'll get really offended and storm off to her room, and she's almost 24. So I'm kind of afraid of setting her off every time I'm over there.
But overall they're great. I love visiting them, and man do they spoil me :P
First his mom hated me and wanted him to be dating his ex, but she was always really nice to me. Then she and I became BFFs and did like everything together: shopped, volunteered, ate lunch, hung out, watched movies... it was great
Now that we are older she has gotten kind of bossy and overbearing. It is worse now that he and his twin moved out than it was before. She has gotten better in the last few months thought which I am thankful for. She was just demanding a bunch of their time and attention, but would then ditch us. Idk it was just kind of crazy for a while.
BF's brother's GF and I have a similar history. We got along before they dated, then had some rough patches as she younger than us and was pretty immature. College has matured her a bit and now she and I are best friends.
All of his extended family loves me and his cousin and I are really close too.
And finally, my family adores him and like him even more than they like me. No joke, they even told me so.
Somebody once said, it's the soul that matters. Baby who can really tell, when two hearts belong so well?
Tale as Old as Time (Updated 11/26)
FI has to see my parents a bit more often, as we live literally one mile away. He seems to get along pretty well with my dad (which is saying a lot) and everyone gets along with my mom. FI will get to meet my grandma and uncle when we go up to visit for Christmas. I don't see any issues there, either, because they're very low key, just like my mom.
I haz a planning bio
I will say, however, that this took a long time to develop. For one thing, I'm pretty introverted, and for another, his family are very different from mine, so things were harder at first. It was never rough... just awkward. It wasn't until we had been together about 3 years that I really started to think of them as family.
Mookow, how long have you and your BF been together? I think I might remember reading this info at some point, but I can't recall.
[QUOTE]I live a lot closer to BF's family than to my own, and I see them very often. I've gotten pretty close to them. I will say, however, that this took a long time to develop. <strong>For one thing, I'm pretty introverted, and for another, his family are very different from mine, so things were harder at first. It was never rough... just awkward.</strong> It wasn't until we had been together about 3 years that I really started to think of them as family. Mookow, how long have you and your BF been together? I think I might remember reading this info at some point, but I can't recall.
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]
This sounds similar to my experience...maybe I just need some more time. We've been together about 2 yrs but we're long distance, BF lives with his family live about 4 hrs away.
Married!
I get along great with BF's family, and my family loves him. It can actually get annoying. For example if I go a family party, everyone will come right up to me and be like "Hey where is BF?" So I always reply, "Oh hi! Nice to see you too, He's blah blah blah." His mom can drive me nuts, but I'm convinced that she is just lonely and therefore when she gets the chance to talk to people, she just can't stop.
My family likes FI. My dad helps him work on his truck and he fixes my grandma's VCR so she LOVES him.
FI gets along well with my sister and brother-in-law, they're both just really sweet people and have always been very welcoming towards him. My mom had some reservations about him at first because of his line of work, and was not shy at all at first about telling me her opinios about him. It was very upsetting to me and we had some fights over it. But as she's gotten to know him, she sees below the surface, sees how he's grown in the time we've been together and how he's turned what she considered a dead end job into a prosperous career, and has changed her mind about him.
I get along quite well with my boyfriend's family, too. His Dad is a complete sweetheart. He's close with his cousin and his boyfriend in DC where we used to live, and I adopted them as surrogate family awhile ago. His sisters and Mom are also quite nice, and we've gotten along very well the few times we've met, but they're exclusionary. It's like my boyfriend is a member of their extended family, and they're the nucleus. They don't tell him things (like his two younger sisters were surprised that their older sister told him that she's pregnant... like it was their secret). And his Mom will take his sisters and their significant others on vacation but not invite my boyfriend. It's always been like this, and he accepts it, but it hurts his feelings so it makes me upset to see him hurt. I'm not sure if it's because he's a boy and they're all girls, or if it's because he moved away from home while they're all still there. I just don't think they know how to relate to him, and vice versa. Anyway, they're all really nice, but I'm glad they're not part of our daily life or make tons of demands on our time. They're content with seeing us on holidays and being distantly connected. It's sad, but it's their loss on having a relationship with such a great guy.
Needless to say, it was imperative that my boyfriend's fam and I clicked. And we do. It's actually more funny to watch him with my family because I have tons of sisters and he doesn't have any girls in his fam except his mom, so he's a little like "oh no, what should I do?!" And my sister love to tease him. It's cute
My family loves Josh. They pretty much like him more than they like me.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: SO's family? : This sounds similar to my experience...maybe I just need some more time. We've been together about 2 yrs but we're long distance, BF lives with his family live about 4 hrs away.
Posted by mookow86[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I think that's it. Even living very near to his family and seeing them often, it still took several years to develop a relationship with them that didn't depend on BF. Don't sweat it.
Anyway, I really couldn't be happier. :0)
"Sounds of laughter shades of earth are ringing through my open ears inciting and inviting me"
That also might be because I grew up abroad, my parents are foreigners, and my ethnicity is different even though I was born here and have citizenship, but went to Brazil very young to come back 14 years later. My BF is American, but he said that after spending his teenage years in France, he'd rather date foreigners, which makes his parents not happy at all.
I feel insecure about this whole thing because if and when kids come along, I worry about them either despising the kids or turning the kids against me. I try not to think too much about it and just focus on our relationship since he's the one that decides whom he dates/marries, not his parents.
Just a glimpse of how sweet my MIL is. Last night she called to see how the HM went and she got on the phone with me and said "I just want to thank you so much for loving my son" and then went on to welcome me into the family.