Stressed already.. I've only been planning for a day!

Re: Stressed already.. I've only been planning for a day!

• hmonkey member

  

  December 2010

  it's been a day.  beer some strength.

  

  Report0 Reply
• Mrs.Thistletwat

  

  December 2010

  Don't talk to them about the wedding.

  Report0 Reply
• Heffalump member

  

  December 2010

  1.  Since your mom has already quit four times, I say she doesn't need to be involved with the planning at all.
  
  2.  Your FSIL is rude, and anyway it's way too early to start choosing the BP.  Stick around here, you'll see.

  �

  Report0 Reply
• RMacQueen member

  

  December 2010

  Ditto PP. Don't talk to them. You still have 10 months to plan everything, I recommend doing so gradually. Start with the most important aspect and plan from there. It's not worth fighting with them for the next 10 months.

  

  Report0 Reply
• RastUmbarger

  

  December 2010

  When it comes down to it... this is YOUR day. Unless your mom is completely footing the bill, then she has little to no say in what's going on. If she IS footing the bill, then it might be worthwhile to give in to some of the things that she's most adament about wanting, and/or compromsing on some of them (I don't want an outdoor wedding, but we can get married at a place with a garden and take lots of pictures outside, etc.)
  
  FSIL is way out of line... and since (I think I'm reading this correctly) she is your Fiance's sister, this is where he steps in. You have to deal with your own family, but he gets to deal with his. He can explain to her that the two of you have already chosen your wedding party, and while you appreciate her enthusiasm and don't mean to hurt her feelings, you are also not going to be expanding it. I would HEAVILY recommend against including her, if she's already demanding to be part of the WP, then she probably is rather controlling and you're already fighting with your mom on planning aspects. You don't need to add someone else. But dealing with her is not your problem, it's your FI's.
  
  Also... get a wedding organizer. Not everything needs to be decided in a day. I got mine at Barnes & Noble, it was $30 and it's the best investment I've made so far. It tells me exactly WHEN I need to have things done by, and so I've gotten a lot more relaxed about planning, because I don't feel like I have to make every decision NOW.
  
  Good luck!

  Report0 Reply
• artbyallie mod

  

  December 2010

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_stressed-already-ive-only-planning-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:1e01543d-de0d-4966-9ee2-bb072ba21f99Post:74145f2d-eba7-4c94-a4d8-e002b83ba2da">Stressed already.. I've only been planning for a day!</a>:
  [QUOTE]So I have been planning my wedding for all of one day and I already had a fall out with my mother and my future sister in law... My mom is trying to have the wedding she never had through me and gets mad when I reject an idea. She has removed herself from the wedding 4 times already.. mind you its only been a day of actual planning. <strong>My future sister in law is DEMANDING that she be in my bridal party because her husband is a grooms man.</strong> I already selected 4 girls to be my maids.. besides that fact, we aren't even close. Any tips on how to make it out alive..? I already want to ELOPE. I don't think I can handle 10 more months of nagging people... I thought this was supposed to be a happy time.. Im already OVER it.
  Posted by Goldyn39[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>Keep in mind that this woman will be family. You don't want to create a permanent grudge. I strongly advise either making her a bridesmaid or your FI making her a groomswoman. It's a concession for one day that will (hopefully) prevent her from wanting to make your life difficult in the future.</div>

  

  Report0 Reply
• felicia220 member

  

  December 2010

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_stressed-already-ive-only-planning-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:1e01543d-de0d-4966-9ee2-bb072ba21f99Post:74879dce-a8f9-4853-a7ed-06fa73182a11">Re: Stressed already.. I've only been planning for a day!</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Stressed already.. I've only been planning for a day! : Keep in mind that this woman will be family. You don't want to create a permanent grudge. I strongly advise either making her a bridesmaid or your FI making her a groomswoman. It's a concession for one day that will (hopefully) prevent her from wanting to make your life difficult in the future.
  Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]
  
  <div> I respectfully and whole heartedly DISAGREE with this statement.  Yes, she will be family.  On the other hand, if the FSIL cared about that than she would not have acted that way.  Also this will not just stop at being a BM, this will go on for the next 10 months with her demanding and pouting when she doesn't get what she wants.  Your BP is not chosen by whom will become your family, but yet within the family and friends you already have.  </div><div>
  </div><div>OP: I know it is hard to reason with people like your FSIL, but my advice would be to sit down with her and explain that the most important title she can have that day  is Being his sister and your new sister, that title last forever, not just one day.  Maybe you can find another way to honor her within the wedding.  We did a brother/sister dance (I have one brother and he has just his sister, so it worked out)  Just a thought.  </div><div>
  </div><div>
  </div>

  Report0 Reply
• Goldyn39 member

  

  December 2010

  I think I should have made it clearer. She is the wife of my fiance's brother. She isn't his actual sister. His brothers are going to be in the wedding.. my brothers are too. But I do not see the point of placing his brothers wife in my wedding.

  Report0 Reply
• felicia220 member

  

  December 2010

  That certainly changes things a bit.  It makes her crazier and leaves you with less to think about.  If she causes a big thing, then I agree with others who said that this is something your FI has to deal with, after all this is HIS SIL.  

  Report0 Reply