My mother and sister and another one of my bridesmaids are very upset and angry with another of my bridesmaids and I am at a complete loss over what to do.
My sister is my MOH and I have three BM's. One is my post-college roommate, one is my BF from college and the third is another really good friend from college.
FYI: We all live in different states, so almost all of their communication has been through email and text message.
My Mom and MOH tell me on the way home from my BP that they have been having major issue's with the thrid bridesmaid ever since they started planning my bridal shower. My sister was having trouble getting the girls to pick a date for the shower and the bachelorette party and she called me complaining about how everyone was saying when they couldn't do something but not providing any alternatives. I finally basically told my sister to grow a pair and stop being afraid to step on peoples toes and set a date, which she did.
My bridal shower was scheduled for the last weekend in June and my bachelorette party was this past weekend.
The shower was specifically scheduled by my mother and sister to be later in the afternoon so that the third BM (who said she had a family thing) could be at the shower. They were informed by this BM on the Sunday morning of the shower, that she didn't go away that weekend, had known for several weeks (right after the invitations has been sent out) and that she was taking the train to the town the shower was being held in and that she needed someone to pick her up. So my mom sister and the roommate BM spent all day getting prepared for the shower and according to them she strolls in a half-hour before the shower starts and starts working on the bridal trivia game she had brought with her instead of helping to decorate and get food ready.
My mom ended up hosting the shower in the clubhouse of her housing development and taking on all of the planning and cooking herself. She wanted to host it at a restaurant nearby, but due to the time of the shower offered her place instead even thought she didn't want to, because she said she didn't want to be a "Mom-zilla." I appreciate her doing that, but tried to tell her that she shouldn't have offered to host if she really didn't want to because it just put the burden on her.
Then this BM left early and didn't tell anyone she had to leave early until she was leaving and didn't help clean up. So my mom and sister are rip@#%!, but instead of saying something about it they tell me they are trying to hold it in to avoid drama for my sake.
If they are trying to avoid drama, then why are they then complaining to me about it?
This BM also was giving my MOH a lot of resistance about my bachelorette party as well. My MOH asked me what I wanted for a party and she wanted to take me to Vegas. I said I didn't want/need Vegas and I would rather go to my favorite little beach town and have a relaxing weekend/night.
So this BM balked at the idea of going away, saying it was too expensive and we should just go camping instead.
Sidenote: This is right after this BM came back from a Bachelorette Weekend in New Orleans where she wasn't part of the bridal party, so her participation to fly and pay for a hotel room was totally voluntary.
When my MOH told her that she had talked to me about what I envisioned for a BP and told her I wanted to go to the beach she suggested getting a hotel room in a major city we can all get to easily and just go bar hopping, because going away was going to be expensive and there was no way were were going to get hotel reservations. At this point one of the other BM's is getting annoyed and tells me that she feels like this BM is just suggesting ideas that are easy for her instead of things that I might want to do.
My sister finally puts her foot down and they get the weekend planned. The plan is for those of us who can get away for Friday to go up and those who can't to come up on Saturday. My MOH, myself and one of the BM's went up on Friday. The other two BM's and a friend were coming up on Saturday. I had no knowledge of travel arrangements but assumed everyone had made plans to get to where we were on their own when they didn't come up on Friday with us.
The BM my MOH is having issues with doesn't have a car and the plan as told to me was for her to originally head up with the other BM who has a car on Saturday. The car owning BM wasn't planning on leaving until the afternoon because of work, so the non-car BM decided to take the train to the town next to where we were and from what I have heard told (not asked) the BM who was with us on Friday to pick her up at the train station the next day.
So as the weekend goes on my MOH and one BM are getting increasingly frustrated and annoyed, but don't want to say anything because they don't want to cause drama.
When the weekend is over, the non-car BM needs to be dropped off at the train station and the BM with the car needs to head home way before her train so my mom, driving my car, with me and my sister drops her off at the train station all smiles and "Thank you for coming!" and then gets back in my car and proceeds to freak out about everything from the planning of the bridal shower until now.
What do I do?
If they say something to her now, after the fact 1) It just sounds like sour grapes and why didn't they say anything earlier and 2) it is just causing drama and my wedding is in three weeks!
None of this has happened in front of me/I haven't been involved so I don't feel it is even my place to talk to her about it.
I don't want my mom and sister to be unhappy and to fake it at my wedding, but knowing what is going on I have no idea how this can end anyway but badly.
