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Blues for guests?

Nana015Nana015 member
First Comment
in Military Brides
I come from a huge military family. I have two uncles that are currently enlisted in the Air Force, both of my grandfathers retired from the Army, one cousin-in-law that's enlisted in the Marines, my mom is in the Navy, and my husband(we're doing a renewal) is also in the Air Force. And we're also having a bunch of friends fly in(who are also in the military).
I want my husband to be in his dress blues for at least the ceremony, then he's changing into a suit, or a tux, haven't made up my mind.
But if we're having the other service members wear their dress uniforms, will it look bad? I do want my husband to stand out as the groom, after all.
I've already been asked by a few people if I would be ok with them wearing their dress uniforms.
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Re: Blues for guests?

  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    My H (A Marine) wore his blues, his CG GM wore his blues, FIL (retired CG) wore his Blues, and a cousin wore his (Retired Army)..  It's up to you if you're okay with it or not.  Your H will stand out considering he'll be the one renewing vows up at the front!Wink
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  • prettyirishgirlprettyirishgirl member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We are still a ways off but I said yes because it is easier for most of our guests family and friends to wear what they have. Their uniforms are always ready to wear and appropriate for the wedding so we are welcoming it so that they don't have to go through the added work of renting a tux etc if they choose not to or can't for whatever reason.

    Personally I feel like it will look more uniform (haha) then tuxes/ suits since people will wear what they wear regardless of what you request. Out outlook on the standing out is that he will get to hang out front and center for an hour for mass so if they dont know who he is then they probably shouldn't be at our wedding - but I see where you are coming from. That's why he will have the cute girl in the white dress on his arm all night :)

    Uping the formality or downing it may also change what people do. If it was informal they might just wear a suit and the same goes for using Mess dress. If you pushed closer to tails it might sway people from wearing uniforms if you really dont wnt them to, but we plan on embracing it.
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Everyone knows who the groom is. He will "stand out" as the man mackin on you and glowing with happiness!
    Our wedding is dress blue formal. Fi is actually wearing his dress whites (Navy) and he will not be changing for the reception. I think you can tell people, but they definitely should be allowed the option to not if they don't want to. I'm excited, as I love the classyness of the blues in/at a wedding :)

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  • DaKelliAB09DaKelliAB09
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think blues look snazzy and your H will definitely stand out like others have said!  I know that FI, my brother and other friends in the military don't even own tuxes so when they have an event such as a wedding or anything fancy to go to it's so easy for them to pull out their blues and where that instead of having to purchase or rent a suit and of course it looks nice! :)
     I'm sure whatever happens your day will be perfect!  You guys will stand out no matter what! :)
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  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You don't get to dictate what your guests wear. Everyone who asked, I said, "whatever you want to wear is fine by me". 

    I don't mean that in a snarky way, even though it comes across that way, you just shouldn't tell people what they can and can't wear.
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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_blues-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:b375bbf0-693c-42bd-9cc3-0ef7c2cf49e6Post:6610bf6f-f2de-4073-b45d-b5b7d6d6324a">Re: Blues for guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]You don't get to dictate what your guests wear. Everyone who asked, I said, "whatever you want to wear is fine by me".  I don't mean that in a snarky way, even though it comes across that way, you just shouldn't tell people what they can and can't wear.
    Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]

    I agree. Especially people who have earned a right to wear a uniform.
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I put on our wedding website that the wedding is semi-formal, and that guests who are/were service members are welcome to wear their uniforms.  FI will be wearing his dress blues (with summer white pants) for the ceremony and may or may not change during the reception - we're bringing a suit for him in case he'd feel more comfortable dancing and such, but right now he plans to wear the DBs the whole time.

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  • shan87shan87
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    David (my H) spread via word of month if you have mess dress, or uniform feel free to wear it. It was in no wear mandatory. Heck our DJ wore his class As without anyone asking, he just knew the groom was military.
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_blues-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:b375bbf0-693c-42bd-9cc3-0ef7c2cf49e6Post:4a9c1557-a71d-4fcd-803b-e4e9c1c9d273">Re: Blues for guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]David (my H) spread via word of month if you have mess dress, or uniform feel free to wear it. It was in no way mandatory. Posted by shan87[/QUOTE]

    Yeah this is how we put it too. The AD ladies will OBVIOUSLY not want to wear their DB. :P The guys all asked Fi so he said, "if you want to wear a uniform, we suggest DB with ribbons" and that was kinda that (ribbons because the medals get all clanky during the ceremony.. aw my groomzille :o) ) Some people are choosing to wear them, some aren't. We don't care either way, although they look super sharp.
    I would spread it word of mouth and/or on your wedding website so it doesn't seem like guests HAVE to wear them (unless you are asking them to do a sword arch for you.. but I'm sure they know the drill on that one :P ).
    GL!
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_blues-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b375bbf0-693c-42bd-9cc3-0ef7c2cf49e6Post:10b9f70b-c4ed-4a94-8d6f-a1ac58769ef2">Blues for guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I come from a huge military family. I have two uncles that are currently enlisted in the Air Force, both of my grandfathers retired from the Army, one cousin-in-law that's enlisted in the Marines, my mom is in the Navy, and my husband(we're doing a renewal) is also in the Air Force. And we're also having a bunch of friends fly in(who are also in the military).<strong> I want my husband to be in his dress blues for at least the ceremony, then he's changing into a suit, or a tux, haven't made up my mind.</strong> But if we're having the other service members wear their dress uniforms, will it look bad? I do want my husband to stand out as the groom, after all. I've already been asked by a few people if I would be ok with them wearing their dress uniforms.
    Posted by Nana015[/QUOTE]

    <div>Did you let him pick out your wedding dress?  His attire should be his choice.</div><div>
    </div><div>You can ask that people where their uniform, but it certainly isn't required.  For the 10 or so invitations we sent to military people we wrote "service dress whites are invited" at the bottom since it was a July wedding.  Several guys wore them, but not all.  H wore a tux because that's what he wanted to wear.</div>
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  • crownsuperstarcrownsuperstar member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_blues-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:b375bbf0-693c-42bd-9cc3-0ef7c2cf49e6Post:89bef888-5d3d-4e33-9eef-db3e7d36848e">Re: Blues for guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think blues look snazzy and your H will definitely stand out like others have said!  I know that FI, my brother and other friends in the military don't even own tuxes so when they have an event such as a <strong>wedding or anything fancy to go to it's so easy for them to pull out their blues</strong> and where that instead of having to purchase or rent a suit and of course it looks nice! :)  I'm sure whatever happens your day will be perfect!  You guys will stand out no matter what! :)
    Posted by DaKelliAB09[/QUOTE]

    This is what my H and his friends typically do.  H doesn't see then need for a suit when he will never wear it and thinks it a huge waste of money.  That is why for our wedding H and all of the groomsmen wore their dress blues. 
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  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_blues-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b375bbf0-693c-42bd-9cc3-0ef7c2cf49e6Post:d08e07b2-2058-4c41-972f-6377f7182fd2">Re: Blues for guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Blues for guests? : Yeah this is how we put it too. The AD ladies will OBVIOUSLY not want to wear their DB. :P \
    Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

    <div>Huh. If I get in, I'm going to wear that thing to all the weddings, I'm cheap. My MOH wore her Mess Dress, and didn't change at the R.</div>
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  • IrishcurlsIrishcurls member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_blues-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b375bbf0-693c-42bd-9cc3-0ef7c2cf49e6Post:393baa96-b2ab-45c1-ac43-047e5345b79a">Re: Blues for guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Blues for guests? : Huh. If I get in, <strong>I'm going to wear that thing to all the weddings, I'm cheap</strong>. My MOH wore her Mess Dress, and didn't change at the R.
    Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]
    Love this.
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    haha Stan. The lady friends I have in Fis squadron all like being as girly as possible outside of work, since they can't be AT work. At Dining Outs, they all change ASAP from their mess dress to their gowns when they are allowed. I don't blame them, but I don't care either way.  :]
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  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_blues-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b375bbf0-693c-42bd-9cc3-0ef7c2cf49e6Post:df45d953-719c-45c8-a003-8ac4ff25775d">Re: Blues for guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]haha Stan. The lady friends I have in Fis squadron all like being as girly as possible outside of work, since they can't be AT work. At Dining Outs, they all change ASAP from their mess dress to their gowns when they are allowed. I don't blame them, but I don't care either way.  :]
    Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

    <div>I will say that actually really bothers me. The men don't change into tuxes, do they? If I get in and go to H's, I'll have to wear a gown, since it would be inappropriate to be in uniform together, but I would never change out of uniform, especially at a ball meant to celebrate my branch of service. If I get a uniform, I'll still be feminine, because I am. </div>
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's against regs for guys to change at a ball/dining out from their uniform to a tux (at the point when women are allowed to change), it's just a hassle and the uniform looks better anyway. :P I understand why the ladies do it.
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but makeup has to be minimal while in [work] uniform, no? I think this has a lot to do with it. A lot of ladies feel that it takes away from their femininity. I'm not a crazy makeup, hair-doing girly girl myself, so I doubt I would care in such a situation.
    I have no personal opinion on this topic in particular, but I understand both sides.
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  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_blues-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b375bbf0-693c-42bd-9cc3-0ef7c2cf49e6Post:2060a484-1c81-400f-9dcd-9d4015d2d7ce">Re: Blues for guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think it's against regs for guys to change at a ball/dining out from their uniform to a tux (at the point when women are allowed to change), it's just a hassle and the uniform looks better anyway. :P I understand why the ladies do it. Correct me if I'm wrong, but makeup has to be minimal while in [work] uniform, no? I think this has a lot to do with it. A lot of ladies feel that it takes away from their femininity. I'm not a crazy makeup, hair-doing girly girl myself, so I doubt I would care in such a situation. I have no personal opinion on this topic in particular, but I understand both sides.
    Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

    <div>I didn't say it was against regs, I said it's depressing that the females act like their hard earned uniforms give them leprosy whilst the men rock it. And my MOH had a full face of appropriate make-up at my wedding. She looked plenty feminine, as do the female Marines at all the balls I've been to.</div>
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I wasn't trying to correct you. I was just saying that they probably could, when you had made the comment about how the guys DON'T. That's all.
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  • Nana015Nana015 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not sure where everyone is getting the idea that I'm making my husband wear his DB, or that I'm asking if it's ok to make my guests wear their's. I was simply asking for opinions on whether or not you thought my groom would stand out, since half of our guests would be wearing the same thing as he was.
    For everyone that has asked if he picked out my dress, the answer is kind of. He didn't actually pick it out, but he did go with me, and his opinion was a major factor of why I chose the one I did. I'm in no way "making my groom or guests do anything."
    Sorry if I seem a bit bitchy in this, but I hate it when people assume that I'm doing something, and I've given no indication that I am.
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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In your OP you stated, " I want my husband to wear his dress blues for at least the ceremony. He will then change into __________. I haven't made up my mind yet."
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  • Nana015Nana015 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    True. I do want him to wear them. But ultimately it's his choice. I suppose it should have been worded as we haven't decided yet.
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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_blues-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b375bbf0-693c-42bd-9cc3-0ef7c2cf49e6Post:10b9f70b-c4ed-4a94-8d6f-a1ac58769ef2">Blues for guests?</a>:
    Sorry if this sounds biitchy, but I hate it when people misrepresent themselves or aren't clear in their OP, and then get snarky with us when all we have to go on is what you say.

    You said:[QUOTE] I want my husband to be in his dress blues for at least the ceremony, then he's changing into a suit, or a tux, <strong>haven't made up my mind.</strong> But <u>if we're having the other service members wear their dress uniforms, will it look bad? I do want my husband to stand out as the groom, after all.</u> I've already been asked by a few people if I would be ok with them wearing their dress uniforms.
    Posted by Nana015[/QUOTE]

    You don't get to tell your guests what to wear.  They are being considerate in asking you, but it's up to them.  They can show up in cut off jeans and a mesh tank top if they so choose.  Your H will still stand out, he'll be standing next to the lady in the dress he helped pick out.  So unless you're inviting complete strangers to your VR, people will know him. It's a party. Just enjoy it.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    <span style="color:#000000;font-family:'Times New Roman';line-height:normal;font-size:medium;" class="Apple-style-span"><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;">[QUOTE] Sorry if I seem a bit bitchy in this, but I hate it when people assume that I'm doing something, <strong>and I've given no indication that I am.</strong>
    Posted by Nana015[/QUOTE]
    </div></span>[QUOTE]I come from a huge military family. I have two uncles that are currently enlisted in the Air Force, both of my grandfathers retired from the Army, one cousin-in-law that's enlisted in the Marines, my mom is in the Navy, and my husband(we're doing a renewal) is also in the Air Force. And we're also having a bunch of friends fly in(who are also in the military).<strong> I want</strong> my husband to be in his dress blues for at least the ceremony, then he's changing into a suit, or a tux, <strong>haven't made up my mind.</strong> But if<strong> we're having </strong>the other service members wear their dress uniforms, will it look bad? I do want my husband to stand out as the groom, after all. I've already been asked by a few people if I would be ok with them wearing their dress uniforms.
    Posted by Nana015[/QUOTE]

    <div>We know absolutely nothing about you, as this was your first post on this board, and the boards in general.  We know nothing about your plans or anything about your wedding.  All that we can go on is what you write in your post.  I bolded the 3 parts that stuck out to me (and apparently a few others) that made it come across that you are the one dictating your FI's attire as well as your guests.  </div><div>
    </div><div>I know sometimes you can type fast and not double check your posts, but don't get pissed at us for reading what you wrote and responding to what we read.  </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>Your husband will stand out, regardless of what he or anyone else wears.  He will be the one at the altar, the one dancing with and kissing the bride, and the one that everyone came to see get married.  H wore the same tux like all of his GM, but wore a different color tie and vest.  We had several guys in their dress whites, and one in his Army dress mess uniform.  I can assure you that not one person thought that my friend in his mess dress uniform was actually the groom, just like nobody in their whites was confused as the bride or groom.</div>
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  • Nana015Nana015 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    While it's true that I didn't go through and edit, and make sure that what I wrote was exactly how I wanted it to come across, everyone seems to be focusing on a few phrases, instead of the whole question. So I'll rephrase it:
    We're not doing a formal wedding. It's going to be like a relaxed, semi-formal. Our venue is a very romantic place.
    I have had several of our friends, and a few of my family members ask if we would be ok if they wore their uniforms. We had already discussed whether or not we want my husband to wear his, or if we're going to get him a tux. I, personal, love the look of him in his uniform, so I want him to wear it, but it's ultimately his choice.
    Besides on here, I've talked to a few other people, and I've gotten so many mixed results, that I decided to ask on here.
    So should we ask that they not wear them, since my husband might be wearing his as well? 


    So, now that I rephrased my question, I also want to make a few things clear. I am in no way trying to dictate what my guests wear. Nothing is mandatory, execpt the obvious in no wearing a white gown. I was asked my opinion by them, and now I was asking for everyone on here's opinion. Just because I want something, as was pointed out by a few people about how I want my husband to wear his uniform, that in no way, shape or form mean that that's what's going to happen. I'm not worried about people mistaking any of our guests for my husband. But because it's his day as well, and not just mine, I want him to feel special. I know I would be pissed if someone else showed up at my wedding in a white gown. I had what I thought was a simple question, and I've gotten chewed out because people misunderstood. I am sorry about that. I was excited, since most of my military friends were married years ago, and didn't have a lot to contribute, opinion wise.

    I thank everyone who focused on the main question, instead of picking my post apart.
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  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_blues-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b375bbf0-693c-42bd-9cc3-0ef7c2cf49e6Post:a6f054d9-c725-4849-bbd4-f124f6192fd2">Re: Blues for guests?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Blues for guests? :<strong> Did you let him pick out your wedding dress?  His attire should be his choice.</strong> You can ask that people where their uniform, but it certainly isn't required.  For the 10 or so invitations we sent to military people we wrote "service dress whites are invited" at the bottom since it was a July wedding.  Several guys wore them, but not all.  H wore a tux because that's what he wanted to wear.
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]
    If FI pointed my dress out and I ended up picking that one does that mean he picked it?
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
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