What should I do?! help me please!

cpm1223 · May 2012

FI's "friend" who he's known his whole life, but hasn't really hung out with at all in the past few years, called FI yesterday asking about the wedding....

FI felt really bad since we never sent and invite to him, but told him that we didnt know his address (ugh why FI why!?!?)

This friend, wants to come to the wedding, BUT he has no way of getting there (doesn't drive.) Most of FI's friends who know this person are leaving Friday and staying until Sunday in Maine to be honest, I don't think he'd pay for a hotel room for 2 nights.

He's also a raging drug addict, he starts arguments for no reason with people (prob the drugs) I've seen him carrying a gun before, like in his pants....so, not going to lie, I literally hate this person.

So, since we sent in our final count yesterday, do I just leave it the way it is and hope that he doesn't find a ride/hotel? or do I add him in and hope to God he doesn't show up, but if he does he;ll have a place to sit and a meal. FI feels bad, he's trying to find this person a ride up, but I keep telling him it's not his "job" to do this so let him figure it out on his own!

I should also add, he rsvp'd to another two of FI's friends weddings, with a guest, and never showed up. One of these wedding was local, the other was also in Maine. So he's extremely unreliable and I don't trust that he'll come even if he says he wants to.

leopardgurl831 · May 2012

I wouldn't add him in your count. Supposedly everyone who RSVPs doesn't come....so I'm sure if he did make it you could find him a seat. We are doing a buffet so if someone is even questionable they are not getting counted and can find a seat if they do come!

bpphoto785 · May 2012

I would have your FI call him and say he was mistaken and that you can't add anyone else this close to the wedding, apologize and say you'll catch up when you're back from your HM.

vineyard12 · May 2012

I seriously wouldn't add this guy. I would have FI tell him that he made a mistake, final counts are in, and you're unable to make changes at this late of a date. Chances sound like he won't even show up, and you're right, it's not your FI's job to find a way to get him there.

deanabuonincontri · May 2012

Do not add this guy. Sooo many reasons....however, stick the fact that you already gave your final headcount.

Have your fiance call him and apologize for the mixup. Your fiance can let his "friend" know that he's sorry he never got an invite, but he didn't have an address and they had been out of contact for a while. Your fiance should also explain that he spoke too soon the other day in inviting him now. He's sorry but he has since spoken to you and you have already given the final count to the caterer and it cannot be changed at this point. Just make sure your fiance stands his ground. It is akward sitation, but you don't want to run the risk of him showing up.

Good luck!!

geojam224 · May 2012

I sent in my final guest count yesterday- 5 less than the real count. We're doing a buffet, so I'm not worried about food, but I've heard that 10% of the people that RSVP yes still won't come the day of. I didn't wanna pay for them, so I excluded them from the final guest count. Also, we've had tons of people say "Sure we're coming... as long as...." bleh bleh bleh
...K sooooo you're NOT coming??

caitlinc09 · May 2012

Don't add him! You clearly aren't comfortable with him coming, and there is always a chance that if he thinks you meant to invite him he will show up. I would have FI apologize for missing him on the invitation list and let him know that your final numbers are in and you really can't add anyone this last minute. I am sure he will understand...unless he's currently on the drugs, in which case I would make sure this conversation happens over the phone instead of in person! (half kidding?) Good luck!

cpm1223 · May 2012

Thank you everyone!

I emailed the event coordinator and filled her in on the details and asked for her opinion on what I should do, knowing that the chances of him coming are less than 1%

I wanted to know, if he did show up, if we'd be charged an outrageous amount to feed him since he was not included on the final count.

I'd almost rather risk having to pay more on the day of the wedding than pre-pay for him to come and then never show up.

I am not comfortable with him coming at all. FI feels bad since they've known each other for so long. I'm going to have FI call him, and play dumb by saying that our final #s are in and we can't change anything (which we technically can if we "need" to) I don't care if he blames it on me for not double checking with him about the final count....so if he has the throw me under the bus, I don't mind! lol

[Deleted User] · May 2012

Does your FI know how uncomfortable you are with him being there? Honestly I don't think I would be able to have someone at my wedding that I felt this way about. Good luck with this drama, though. I hope he decides not to show up.

toothpastechica · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_what-should-i-do-help-me-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:8696be84-2e42-46b9-a8b3-65101e531feaPost:ba2620a2-955d-419c-800a-b7385894b33e">Re: What should I do?! help me please!</a>:
[QUOTE]Do not add this guy. Sooo many reasons....however, stick the fact that you already gave your final headcount. Have your fiance call him and apologize for the mixup. Your fiance can let his "friend" know that he's sorry he never got an invite, but he didn't have an address and they had been out of contact for a while. Your fiance should also explain that he spoke too soon the other day in inviting him now. He's sorry but he has since spoken to you and you have already given the final count to the caterer and it cannot be changed at this point. Just make sure your fiance stands his ground. It is akward sitation, but you don't want to run the risk of him showing up. Good luck!!
Posted by deanabuonincontri[/QUOTE]

This exactally.

What should I do?! help me please!

Re: What should I do?! help me please!

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