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July 2012 Weddings
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RSVP concern

mekiakoomekiakoo member
Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
in July 2012 Weddings
This hasn't happened yet, but I want to be prepared in case it happens.

We are having an adult reception with the expection of family children (FI and my family will have about 20 children in total being invited).

What do I do if a friend writes down a child as their guest? I have several friends who are single mothers and not dating anyone so I wrote down "Sally and Guest". I don't want to offend anybody by allowing some guests to bring a child as their "guest" but at the same time I don't want to dicate who the "guest" should be.

Sometimes this makes me wish we had gone with the no children rule including the family. We would have never been able to include every child- we have a 220 people limit at our venue.
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Re: RSVP concern

  • brandeeteerbrandeeteer
    100 Comments
    I'm having the same problem. We only invited my children and made sure everyone else knows that the reception is adult only. FI's sister wrote down that she is bringing her 10 year old as her date on her RSVP. I'm not sure how to handle this politely. It wouldn't be a big deal except we can't let his brother or my brother not bring their kids but allow her to bring hers.
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  • cmhutchison22cmhutchison22
    100 Comments
    Are you having an all ages no children or just under a certain age?
    Just tell the people that want to bring their child as the guest that you are very sorry, but you are having an adult only reception.

     I actually think that the no children rule should also include the wedding ceremony as well since if there are children in the wedding people would be offended that those children were allowed to be there, but their children were not allowed to be there. But that is just me.
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  • ceglare4ceglare4
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I'm having similar issues. I posted about it earlier today. One of my cousins and his g/f (who's a mom) were invited, but not the kid. We only invited family kids too. They wrote in her name on the RSVP card. I had my dad text him and let him know that she isn't invited, obv nicer than that. Things are kind of rough between them lately, so he didn't want to talk to him on the phone. He actually is kind of hoping they just decline, so we'll see what happens. But I was too much of a chicken to do it myself haha.
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  • pillsburyajpillsburyaj member
    500 Comments
    I would just simply say, "I'm sorry, we are only having family children at the wedding."
    We are doing the same thing (family kids only), except they are being "dismissed" from the reception early and taken back to the hotel with the sitter. Family already knows this.  I am expecting that I will probably run into the same problem when we start getting RSVP's in the mail.
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  • paulandjen2012paulandjen2012
    10 Comments
    We have had people reply with their kids as well.... not sure what we are going to do!
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  • michelle11988michelle11988 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    I would do the exact same thing.  I have a feeling a couple people are going to do this to us, but oh well we just have to call them and talk to them about it.

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  • kimandjosh22kimandjosh22 member
    100 Comments
    same problem here, not sure how we're going to handle it.  FMIL keeps saying that FSIL is an exception to our no kids under high school age rule because she is still nursing (baby is 8 mos old)...is this not what the breast pump she received at her baby shower is for? Baby could be left with her husband's parents who live 20 minutes from where the wedding is...right?
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  • mbodymbody
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    I think if you give them a guest and they decide to bring their child as their guest, then that's their prerogative. (Do I personally think that's what the 'and guest' is for? No) But, I also don't think you can dictate people's guests, unless they tried sleeping with your FI or they put your guests in danger. Personally, I'd let them bring one person of their choosing.

    I think this is different than Ceglare's issue because the kid was never invited in the first place and the invite was addressed to her cousin and his g/f. Then they RSVPed with her kid. There was no indication on their invite that they could bring someone else.
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  • arunkumararunkumar
    100 Comments

    Kindly explain that your wedding is adults only, except for children. It was a misunderstanding. She has every right to believe that her guest can be her child, because you did not specify that the guest had to be an adult.  Say that you hope she can still make it even though she cannot bring her child to the wedding.

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  • LammChopLammChop
    10 Comments
    We are allowing children until 8:30 pm at the reception. After that anyone under 18 has to leave and we made that very very clear.
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