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Vows

katy0990katy0990 member
10 Comments
in Catholic Weddings
Hello! My name is Katie and this is my first post. Does anyone know if the Catholic church will allow us to write our own vows?
Thanks for your input!

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Re: Vows

  • lalaith50lalaith50 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    maybe some priest somewhere would "allow" it, (I doubt it,) but it's definitely not officially permitted.
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  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I believe you will have to use the pre-set vows, but you might be able to add in a few personal vows on top of that. If not, you could always do something private, after the ceremony, where you read your personal vows to each other. Or do something at the reception...

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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In order to have a valid marriage, a Catholic has to have the right form and matter. The vows are part of the form of the sacrament and cannot be changed.
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  • tmeyer621tmeyer621
    10 Comments Second Anniversary
    Depends on the priest. My priest said we could ( we aren't ) as long as he looked them over to make sure we included everything that needs to be in there
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_vows-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:094ce8b3-4bfb-4dd9-ab22-136bc0447b40Post:a816473c-238b-4b74-9f62-a0c9d4e98bb7">Re: Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]Depends on the priest. My priest said we could ( we aren't ) as long as he looked them over to make sure we included everything that needs to be in there
    Posted by tmeyer621[/QUOTE]

    This priest is incorrect. If you had done so, your marriage would be invalid due to lack of form.
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  • tmeyer621tmeyer621
    10 Comments Second Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_vows-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:615Discussion:094ce8b3-4bfb-4dd9-ab22-136bc0447b40Post:9df5b5cf-b6a6-4261-ab4c-17b8a256e625">Re: Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vows : This priest is incorrect. If you had done so, your marriage would be invalid due to lack of form.
    Posted by agapecarrie[/QUOTE]




    Right. Theres certain things that must be included for your marriage to be valid. But he said we can write our own and personalize them. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm certain a priest that performs dozens of weddings a year is correct.
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  • Riss91Riss91 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Unfortunately, it is quite common for priests to deviate from what is acceptable according to the Church. Many aren't as knowledgable in the Canon Law as they should be.

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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_vows-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:094ce8b3-4bfb-4dd9-ab22-136bc0447b40Post:7be489fc-ac83-4202-9838-bc4d76bb3c23">Re: Vows</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vows : Right. Theres certain things that must be included for your marriage to be valid. But he said we can write our own and personalize them. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm certain a priest that performs dozens of weddings a year is correct.
    Posted by tmeyer621[/QUOTE]

    Nope, don't be so certain.  It's plain as day in the rite of marriage what is supposed to be done. I see priests every single week do things incorrectly here and there, most don't have such a huge drastic effect such as invalidating a sacrament, but it does happen.

    There was recently (as in maybe within the past 5 years or so) where it was declared that tons of baptisms were invalid due to priests taking it upon themselves to use their own formula and not using the correct words. They do many more than "dozens" of baptisms a year but still, through their own will, created a disastrous issue.

    You have to have correct form and matter. The words are the form, and they are important.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    I don't mean to be rude, but I'm certain a priest that performs dozens of weddings a year is correct.

    priest make errors all the time, sometimes because they dont know better, and sometimes because they actually disagree with church teaching and consciously go against it. 
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  • MedStudent13MedStudent13 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    I have never even considered wanting to write our own vows, but if you and your fiance feel like there is something special that you would like to say, you can write letters and your priest can share the content during the homily.
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  • katy0990katy0990 member
    10 Comments
    Thanks for the responses! I think we may come up with something to do during the reception that incorporates our vows.
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