So back during the summer, my FMIL pitched an absolute fit about how we did not want kids at the wedding. The only kids who were to be invited were WP kids-totally etiquette acceptable, but she was pissed. Like threatening not to come pissed.
So we compromised- after she calmed down, we added kids, but took off members of her/FI's church, as well as mine. We essentially swapped church people for kids. NBD. This wound up being less expensive, since our caterer charges less for kids. Ok cool. We thought everything was handled.
Well then somewhat recently, she began mentioning church people again and whatnot, so I had FI call her to sort things out. He explained everything to her and reminded her about the compromise. I figured everything was taken care of. She did ask if some church people can be invited to the wedding (just the ceremony), as that is customary for their church. I thought it was weird/rude to only welcome people to one part, but whatever. I gave her an invitation with the bottom (it said "reception to follow") trimmed off. FMIL even made sure to mention we'll need to tell the pastor not to welcome everyone to the reception at the conclusion of the ceremony. Ok, again, NBD. Clearly you would think she gets it!
By some revelation, FMIL realizes today, that we are not inviting the church guests to the reception. I don't know how she "just now" got this, as we've been saying that for months. I think she just has selective hearing, or she keeps trying to push and push to get us to say ok fine.
Anyway, she is offering to pay for their food, but doesn't realize a) Scott and I didn't want a big wedding and kids+church people= >100 guests which is more than we wanted, b) we already compromised and I refuse to keep letting her think if she whines enough, she can have her way, c) I have church people I would like to invite too but am not for the sake of the compromise, and d) I'd also have to order more invitiations and programs, as well as buy more centerpiece materials and make more favors.
I get that the wedding is at their church, but no one ever told us we MUST invite the members of said church. That is not a rule for any church, as far as I know, and my grandma is paying for 90% of the wedding. We thought they just wanted to come see us be married and be done with it.
So now all of this has me wanting to say F it, and look for somewhere else. I know it's super last minute, but we rented the country club all day (for the reception). I was thinking I'd call the manager tomorrow and ask her about how much it would be to do the wedding on the lawn or something (chairs+ a tent rental), or even just do the wedding ceremony in the country club. A cousin of a friend did this- people just sat at their dinner seats and watched the ceremony, then had light apps while the B&G took pics, and then dinner was served.
The thing about the above idea is, I know it would cost possibly up to 1K more (probably more like $500) plus I feel like it might make FMIL even more mad. I thought she'd be touched and honored that I wanted to have the wedding in her town, not my own, but she has just taken the reigns about a lot of things and for some I am grateful, but this is too much.
Please, all opinions welcome.
April Siggy Challenge-Wedding Escape: Reading HG/dreaming about Peeta....
Bio-Updated 4/22**