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Help! Going crazy!

MegNRonMegNRon member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Chit Chat
So my FI and I are in the midst of planning our wedding. But it seems everytime we come to an agreement with something, his mother gets to him and it's all changed. Everything from the month, to the venue, to the guest list. We come up with something, he tells her, and she gets to him about it to the point that he agrees with her and we end up fighting over it for days....Keep in mind we have (or have at least to my knowledge now) decided to completely pay for the wedding ourselves.....We had decided on having a summer time outdoors picnic, which would be cheap, easy, and low stress. But she is now not only insisting on having it indoors (because of possible weather), but also insisting on having 250 (at least) guests from their side alone! People that me and the FI have agreed to not invite, he is now saying has to come- Im assuming because she persuaded him. This wedding is so out of hand that I don't even want one anymore. This isn't a celebration of us getting married, its an excuse for their family to get together and have another party. Someone please help and give some sort of advice!!!!! Thank you!
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Re: Help! Going crazy!

  • MegNRonMegNRon member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    And if this is in the wrong section of the message board, I'm sorry!! This is my first post so I'm still getting familiar with everything.
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  • dtbluvdtbluv member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_help-going-crazy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:32364afb-a38c-4243-975f-cfb344e35562Post:821748f6-90d9-40b2-9b65-c01101d78591">Help! Going crazy!</a>:
    [QUOTE]So my FI and I are in the midst of planning our wedding. But it seems everytime we come to an agreement with something, his mother gets to him and it's all changed. Everything from the month, to the venue, to the guest list. We come up with something, he tells her, and she gets to him about it to the point that he agrees with her and we end up fighting over it for days....<strong>Keep in mind we have (or have at least to my knowledge now) decided to completely pay for the wedding ourselves</strong>.....We had decided on having a summer time outdoors picnic, which would be cheap, easy, and low stress. But she is now not only insisting on having it indoors (because of possible weather), but also insisting on having 250 (at least) guests from their side alone! People that me and the FI have agreed to not invite, he is now saying has to come- Im assuming because she persuaded him. This wedding is so out of hand that I don't even want one anymore. This isn't a celebration of us getting married, its an excuse for their family to get together and have another party. Someone please help and give some sort of advice!!!!! Thank you!
    Posted by MegNRon[/QUOTE]

    What was the option for who was paying for/helping out with the wedding before?

    Also, I completely agree with PP.  You need to talk to your FI, and don't tell him that you think his mother is being awful and driving you crazy.  Talk about how much you hate arguing about wedding plans, and you would like to agree on something that you know neither of you will change your minds about because the constantly shifting decisions are stressing you out.  After you guys are both on the same page, maybe then talk about how you guys should try to keep from oversharing lest people try to change your guys' minds.
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  • entropicbeautyentropicbeauty member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Tell your FI to stop sharing information with his mother. If she's not helping to pay, there is no reason for her to know. When she asks just have a set couple of responses like:

    "Oh, we haven't figured that out yet"
    "We have a couple of things we're thinking of for that but haven't made up our minds"
    "That will just have to be a surprise!"

    etc. etc.
    image
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