Lets talk FAVORS

Mattsbride10 · December 2009

What is everyone giving as a favor? Or what did you give? Or what are you debating on giving?

I'd like to do personalized shotglasses. I've had one or two people tell me there not very classy but I don't agree. I want to give my guests something practical that they will keep for years to come. I realize not everyone will drink from it so I plan on converting some into candles and filling the rest with candy filled organza bags.

Ms.BriarRose · December 2009

I am giving two things. First, a donation to Bugles Across America, in memory of our grandfathers. Second, a candy buffet (which many people are already massively excited over)- I am doing all different types (no color coordinated or anything like that), and we plan on making it huge.

My opinion on shot glasses/picture frames/coasters/anything non-edible is this: I have enough nicknacks and stuff in my house, so the likelihood that I will leave it behind or throw it away is very great. People today just don't want more "crap", as one of the girls on the Philly board put it once. That's why edible favors are so popular- you can enjoy them, but don't have to take them home to collect dust. Too many times I have taken it home, held on to it for a few weeks/months, then pitched it.

Donations are also pretty popular in this area, since there are many people who, as wedding guests, would rather not take anything home at all or would rather you not spend more money on them- especially if there is a special cause near and dear to your heart, for any reason. And there are several ways to make the donations interactive with your guests.

I wouldn't say that the shotglasses are tacky or not tacky, I just think it's a waste of money (and they can run pretty expensive, because I have looked into them for other occasions), because people won't keep them for years to come (at least no one I know, or anyone on here whose comments I have read about this topic many times, on different boards). Give them the candy, and they will be happy- Ask Lura what she did for hers, and they were a hit.

Mattsbride10 · December 2009

I still feel differently about the above mentioned "crap" items(picture frames, coasters, shotglasses). Those items are all very handy items in my opinion. I can always find a place for a picture frame whether it be my desk at work or a windowsill/shelf at home. Coasters are great for livingroom furniture...I own more then one set...when I grow tired of looking at one I replace it with another. It really depends on how you look at it. People have been giving these things for years obviosly because they work. As for shotglasses I know loads of people who collect them or stick them in there liquor cabinet and I got a quote of $350 including s/h for 150. I think thats real cheap and totally worth it. I understand these items may not necesserily be useful to everyone but with a little imagination they can come in handy.

The donation is a real nice gesture...I've heard this one too...but I just prefer to send my guests home with a keepsake. My feelings are I can do a donation with out letting them know about it. But thats just my opinion. I love the candy buffet idea in addition to the donation...I plan on having one as well.

Tonysgurl020406 · December 2009

Personally, I totally agree with Brit. If your dead set on the shot glasses (which whats great aunt betty going to do with) then at least dont personalize them,,, If I was going to put something out in my house, it defiantely would not have someone else name & wedding date. It might have a chance if it wasnt, but more likely then not, I wouldnt use/display it.

You said that you also plan on a candy buffet - the candy runs alot of $ there... I had a candy buffet and spent close to $500, so using my $ as a estimate, your talking $850 in favors ($350 shotglasses + 500 candy) not to mention the candy containers for display, bags/boxes, and wrapping of some sort for the shot glasses - thats an aweful lot of $ for favors, IMO. Id pick one or the other.

Mattsbride10 · December 2009

So I guess my candle idea is bad?

I must say I do appreciate the honusty here but you've all really left me soo confused now. Here's the deal...I really want to send my guests home with a keepsake and if everyone is most likely gonna toss all the traditional type wedding favors ...what do you suggest I give?

Like I said...I am having the candy buffet in addition to my table favor.

Thanks ladies.

Santorini2011 · December 2009

Quick experience---we went to a wedding and the favor was a glass ice bucket with metal tongs. It must have cost them a fortune but to me...I ended up giving it to my mom. On the other hand---my cousin packaged a truffle with a personal message and we were fighting to pick up the extras.

If you want to do something like a keepsake, how about a wine topper or metal heart keychain (not engraved)??? Personally, I like a small wine bottle with a personal label. Online you will find cool things like honey with a quirky label about sweet love. These are nice if it fits your personality.

I think we sometimes forget that someone else really does not need items with our important day on it.

Maybe look at something that is important to the both of you...we have laughed about giving mini bunt cakes with a mini Greek flag since we got engaged in Greece.

Ms.BriarRose · December 2009

I think Santorini hit on it best- we often tend to forget that our guests don't need a gift for our day. While it's nice and appreciated, when it's something that has thought put into it instead of the usual 'keepsakes', then the guests tend to enjoy it much more (especially when there's a story behind it, like Santorini's!). Honestly, from all the weddings I have been to this year (6 and counting; we have our last one this year next weekend), the one thing that's tangible that guests seem to want more of is pictures.

If you are really set on doing favors, think about something that goes really well with you and your FI. Something that either describes you, your personalities, your dreams. Don't just do a favor to do a favor.

For example, we chose to do a donation because it's really important to us- Bugles Across America provides live buglers to play TAPS at veteran's funerals, with the government's and Armed Forces' blessing. We chose this because not only did both our grandfathers serve, but neither of them had TAPS played our grandmothers refused to have a recording if a live person wasn't available. We plan on putting cards at each place setting, telling guests why we did this donation that means so much to us. We are also thinking about doing a seperate donation in honor of our ringbearer and my neice, both of whom have Autism, to either Autism Delaware or Autism Speaks- working with kids with Autism is what I wanted to do with my life before I got injured, and these people are extremely important to us. We can get the cards from VistaPrint for practically free, so it doesn't cost us anything to convey the importance to our guests.

I understand your wanting to do a tangible favor, I really do, because I wanted to do coasters- until I had my mom, sister, and other brides point out that they don't want something with my name on it. They will go out and buy coasters with the design that they want rather than have ones from my wedding. It's a hard thing to hear, but when it finally clicks, it makes sense, and saves you money and hurt (from people leaving them behind). Besides, who is going to pick up all the left over ones? At least the candy they fight over!

If you are doing the candy buffet, make that your favor. Do Chinese takeout boxes with a monogram sticker on them, and let your guests go wild. Trust me, they love it- at Steph's wedding, we were ransacking that thing for candy cigarettes, ring pops, and candy necklaces just so we could get pictures!

MrsCross2B · December 2009

We're doing caramel apples at each place setting like so:

and we are also doing a candy buffet. I've been to weddings where 'non-food' type favors we're handed out, and although I thought they were very nice and lovely, I haven't kept any of them that were personalized. I like personalized items, but not ones that are personalized with someone else's information. I think the shot glass idea is a nice idea, but maybe you don't have to personalize the actual glass, just personalize the tag on the ribbon.

Mrs.LuraT · December 2009

I gave a little favor box (with a leaf cut-out on it) filled with hershey kisses, which i added labels to.

I have been to many weddings, each with different types of favors. I have kept some of the personalized favors, only to throw them out after a year or so.

Just remember, it's YOUR wedding. Do what you want to do. We are just here to bounce idea's off and get opinions. When I was going through the planning process, I had some idea's that weren't well received on here, but I knew that I liked my idea and ran with it (I gave my BM's a little red purse to match their gowns, and some people on here said that they wouldn't use the purse, and I was better off getting them a large tote bag so they could use it again, but i gave them the purses anyway because I thought they were cute).

Mattsbride10 · December 2009

ok since everyone managed to talk me out of my shot glass idea I decided to search around for some other useful items. Sorry I am stuck on giving a tangible item. Whats everyones opinion on these?

Magnetic picture frame ,bookmark, magnetic bottle opener, picture frame key chain. And I promise I won't personalize them !

bethannski05 · December 2009

ok, here is an opinion of a bridesmaid/ amazing guest.

Britt,steph, Santorini, and lura all have vaild points. While i think the shot glass idea is well intended, i dont think it's practical, and you will have many left over, which is going to be a bust. IF you want people to have something to take home, invest the 350 ( which seems a bit much) in a photo booth, or make your own photobooth. My friend had one at her wedding and it was the biggest hit! i still have the photos, and love them. Honestly though, the candy buffet is more then enough for favors, and people love them!

Tonysgurl020406 · December 2009

Of the listed above, my fav would be Beth's photobooth... My second choice would be the magnetic bottle opener.

Mrs.LuraT · December 2009

I have to say Beth, you are one AMAZING guest!!!!!

You can dip your fries in my cheese anytime!

I like the magnetic bottle opening. I wish I could have afforded a photo booth. A couple of the bridal fairs i went to had them and I still have the photos on my fridge. They were a blast, but couldn't handle the $1000 price tag.

Mattsbride10 · December 2009

Yeah I can't afford a photobooth!

MrsCross2B · December 2009

A fun alternative to a photo booth that I thought was really neat is having a caricature artist do 'portraits' for the guests. I think they run around 100 to 150 per hour.

bethannski05 · December 2009

My friend couldn't either, so we made one for her. we used this site as a guide. She used her own digital camera, then uploaded them to thier wedding shutterfly account, and we ordered them off of there. She had the photobooth set up in the foyer of the banquet hall so it wasn't in the way. She included the directions on the tripod, and had her camera set on the auto timer. we added the direction that ur only allowed one cute picture, and the rest had to be silly. We grabbed props such as silly hats, boas, glasses, fairy wands, princess crowns etc, from family members and the dollar store. and put them in a plastic tub. it really was a riot. and the best thing was that she had the pictures as well. HTH!

Mattsbride10 · December 2009

I love these ideas!!! I am just afraid of them keeping ppl off my dance floor. I'm paying a little xtra on an mc to get them out there!

MrsCross2B · December 2009

I can understand that. I'm not sure how people have handled that situation. Maybe it doesn't even become one since only 1 or 2 people could be having thier pic taken/done at once anyways.

Mattsbride10 · December 2009

Good point...anyone else want to add? thanks.

miguelhilary2010 · December 2009

I'll add my two cents...

I don't think the shot glass idea is tacky. However, to other people's points, not everyone will want a shot glass. But, you can't please everyone so if you love the idea of shot glasses, or it has some meaning to you guys, then go with it. Just keep in mind that your hard earned money may or may not be in a landfill somewhere to collecting dust and forgotten.

That being said, since you and FI are not from DE, why dont you incorporate something from "home", LI? Is there a particular treat or something that you can get from a popular store/bar/restaurant to tie in your roots? Right now (I still have 8mos so this could change) I want to get favor-size containers of Johnson's Popcorn from the Ocean City, NJ, boardwalk. I grew up close to there and I think my guests would like something edible. I wanted to tie in something from NY for FI, but he can't think of anything to get.

Donnalynn · December 2009

I know I'm late on this but I completely agree with Brit, Steph, etc., about never keeping these adorable personalized keepsakes from weddings. When I thought about what favors I wanted, I thought about all of the weddings I'd been to, and I don't have one of the favors that I'd gotten. My cousin gave personalized decks of cards, which were the only things I actually used. But the wine bottle stoppers (and I don't even drink wine), the keychains, the picture frames, etc., I didn't keep any of that stuff. Most of it I forgot to even bring home.

That's why I decided to do cookies for favors. I had a butterfly theme, and the cookies were butterfly shaped with frosting colors to match my color scheme, and our name and dates on them. Most people ate them (and loved them!), and any that were left behind were snatched up by someone else. Not only did they taste great, but they were beautiful too.

bethannski05 · December 2009

ditto... donna's cookies. so yummy. i took 2 home

abby459 · December 2009

We did a candy buffet with each member of the wedding party picking their favorite childhood candies, things like twizzlers and ring pops. We bought glass bowls from AC Moore and typed up cards for each explaining whose candy choice it was and why. People seemed to really enjoy it and i was very inexpensive for us.

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