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Upset...

SunnyBBSunnyBB
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in African American Weddings
Hi ladies, I have been MIA for a while busy working and visiting family, but hopefully I can check in more.  Today I get to work and check my email and see an e-mail from one of my BM's with the subject "change of plans", sent yesertday.  In it she says she won't be able to be a BM anymore because of her having to travel a lot next year due to sickness within her family (we are 6 months out). 

I completely understand the situation and if she feels that she can't be a BM, that is fine.  The only thing is I am a little sad she sent me an e-mail.  We have been friends for several years (5+) and I would think she would be able to call me about this.  Then right after my email she sent an email to the rest of my BM's saying it was nice meeting them and she won't be a BM anymore.  I dunno I am I being selfish for wanting a phone call to at least talk about this?  I feel caught off guard since I didn't even check my email until today and I sent her a funny text yesterday after the email went out.  Hmm, any thoughts? Thanks for the vent space.
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Re: Upset...

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    BaesmomBaesmom
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    edited December 2011
    maybe she was sad about this and felt you might be upset.  I understand you wanted a phone call.. give it a couple of days and talk to her.  At least she let you know..
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    kiyamurphkiyamurph
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with Baesmom, I think that she was afraid that you might have been upset and she may not have been sure how to approach it and felt more comfortable with an email.  I understand where she's coming from because an email is less confrontational and for some people it's the best way for them to convey how they feel.  At the same time, it really sucks that you're out a bridesmaid, but at the end of the day, at least she gave you a heads up and gave you enough notice beforehand.  Maybe give it a few days and give her a call and see how she's doing because it sounds like she's going through a tough time.  Hang it there!  It'll be okay.
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    Carla1019Carla1019
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with everything that has been said. TRUST Me...The worst is when a BM goes MIA 2 weeks before the wedding and THEN you find out she can't be in it. After reading those posts I could care less if someone e-mails me, texts me, or sends a smoke signal. Just communicate!! Not to belittle your feelings, she should have called but count your blessings. 
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
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    SunnyBBSunnyBB
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    edited December 2011
    Everything you ladies have said makes since,  thank you!  I definitely am grateful it is not THISCLOSE to the day, and I plan to give her a call and let her know I am here for her.  See, that's why I love this board :)
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    Ksk2012Ksk2012
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with that all. We see all the posts about people waiting until the last minute and then being MIA a week before... so an email a few months out was good. Respond and let her know that you got the email and maybe give her props for telling you in advance. Then see if there are any other options if she could still be in the wedding but if not, then just thank her and support her during this family time.
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    ludajeanludajean member
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    edited December 2011

    I agree with pp. I hope that you can find someone to replace her. Just give  it some time and maybe you two can communicate after a few days.

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