So my father and I are mildly estranged, he lives about 15 minutes away, but we are on shaky speaking terms and I rarely see him, my step-mom or my four much younger siblings. We have never been close so this is not a change.
When I got married before my Dad and everyone was a big part of it (sister was j.b., flower girl, brother was ring bearer) he gave us money for the wedding but then expected a repayment plan when I didn't ask for it to begin with. So now that I have been separated/divorced from my ExH for almost 2 years, you would think things would have worked themselves out with my Dad and I.
No. He and my step-mother have not told my siblings that I am no longer with my ExH. I was not even going to tell my Dad I was engaged but I thought better of it and just called him to tell him in 5 minutes. I'm assuming he told my grandparents ect but who knows?
My question is: a big part of me does NOT want him there at all. He's never met FI, has never been to any place I've ever lived (even the house we just bought), and is generally just kind of absentee. On the other side I feel like it would be strange without him there especially since FI's entire family is coming I could do without my siblings because they aren't in the wedding and will probably be wondering where the hell my FI came from.
I told my Dad the date but he didn't seem to be paying much attention. So what do you all think I should do? Invite him and my step-mother; My Dad by himself; or the entire family?
He will obviously make his own decision on whether or not to come but I guess I'm just not sure how to deal with the situation. I'm torn and I'd actually like some genuine advice whatever that may be.
TIA and sorry for the length 