FI driving me CRAZZZZY!!! (Vent)

DeClue82 · June 2012

So I've mentioned that we aren't taking our HM until December. But we are researching options now. We discussed with our friends who are also going on their HM in December that it might be nice if we go to the same place, to have friends to meet up with etc. FI loved the idea and was psyched. Ok great done deal. NO. They already had their place in mind, and it my FI says months later I don't want to go there. UGH ok. Where do you want to go? Someplace good is all he says. Meaning he doesn't want to go to Mexico, ok FINNEEE. But I try to explain to him that on a 2,500 budget total we don't have a bunch of options.

My FSIL recommended her travel agent so I contacted her. Of course she recommends a beautiful Riveria Maya resort (Secrets Capri, or Silversands) in our price range for 7 nights! Also, an AI in Jamaica, and 3 in the DR. I show him the options, tell him the prices, explain that one even comes with complimentary golf fees (avid golfer). My fiance gets annoyed now and says for me to just book it he will hate it no matter what because he hates vacations, and we are wasting money on this so we should go somewhere good.

AGAIN THIS SOMEWHERE GOOD!? I say where is this somewhere good??? He says he likes St. Lucia (the place his bro went on his HM). I know he wants to go here but, I've looked and looked and we really can't afford SL, and there are no flights out of Cincy that take less than 23 hours due to layovers. And honestly aside from the 2 cool mountains St. Lucia is the same as the other places. So he says Europe (but keep in mind he wants all inclusive? and I think it's cold in December probably not the best time to go!) I just told him that I'm going to book something and go with out him, bc I'll enjoy it and we will only be wasting half the $$. Of course I'm joking, but he is just really frustrating me. Now he just mentioned that he wants to go moose hunting in Alaska... I mean fine whatever, some other vacation, in the SUMMER we can go on the Alaskan cruise your parents went on (keep in mind my FI says he hates cruises). I just don't know what to do with him on this topic... I want him to enjoy the honeymoon... ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

DeClue82 · June 2012

I need to add he has already apologized and said he doesn't want to go anywhere bc he hates vacas but he is excited to go with me... and just hates leaving home... ha ha ha

rgomez27941 · June 2012

We're going to Hawaii, my FI found a credit card, I think it's a Chase Saphire, and we got a $800 flight credit for opening the card and spending a certain amount on it within the first 3 months. So I think after the credit, we ended up paying around $1100 for both of our flights and island hopers. That was easy for him since he has his MBA tuition (thankfully his work reimburses us for that). Then he found some other credit cards so we got 2 free nights at the Hyatt in Kaui, and then 3 free nights at the Westin in Princeville. Then we purchased the Costco package for Maui and I believe that was around $1200, and that is for 5 nights, includes the rental car, buffet breakfast every morning, and 2 dinners! There's deals out there. Costco has a ton of great packages. My FI checks
http://www.fatwallet.com/ all the time and http://slickdeals.net/ all the time. I think that's where he found the good credit cards to apply that you give you the free stuff just for opening them. The trick is not to use the credit cards!! No debt!!!

FLsweetpea1979 · June 2012

I'm sorry that's been so frustrating for you! My FI and I were on different pages at first about the honeymoon too. I think the pressure of making this a "once in a lifetime" trip was part of the issue...and we kind of had different ideas at first of what it should be like... we were also on a bit of a tight budget. We finally just sat down and and really talked about what we both wanted out of the trip and why and were able to come up with something together that we're both really excited about.

VNEluvsAJB · June 2012

If your FI likes the idea of St. Lucia because of the mountains you may want to look at Costa Rica there's a Westin there that's AI and my travel agent says its great. There are monkeys that run around the resort and there are a lot of adventure type activities around. FI was kind of like your FI in that he didn't know where he wanted to go ("somewhere fun" and Europe) but didn't like my ideas. Finally I asked what kinds of things he would enjoy doing on our HM (museums? lay on the beach? diving? hiking? something else?) Once we figured out he was looking for something active and adventurous it was easy to narrow it down then we figured out what I wanted and picked the place that hit points on both of our lists. Sorry this post was so long but I've been there and thought maybe what worked for us would work for you. Good luck.

BTCarolus · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_fi-driving-me-crazzzzy-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:3133b384-9df1-42a1-8935-656a75ea9d74Post:4eadcab0-d675-40a2-be07-c5aff301fb90">Re: FI driving me CRAZZZZY!!! (Vent)</a>:
[QUOTE]Finally I asked what kinds of things he would enjoy doing on our HM (museums? lay on the beach? diving? hiking? something else?) Once we figured out he was looking for something active and adventurous it was easy to narrow it down then we figured out what I wanted and picked the place that hit points on both of our lists.
Posted by VNEluvsAJB[/QUOTE]
Take this advice!! <div>
</div><div>Going to Europe is really stupid unless you actually want to do the things you can do in Europe. Ditto for the Caribbean or wherever. If you come to Germany, for example, you can see museums, churches, if you're here in December Christmas markets, and, depending on the area, castles and/or palaces. The one adventurous thing you can do in Europe during winter is ski, but all of the Europeans are doing that, so it is extremely expensive and crowded, and you have to book months in advance, hoping that their will be enough snow.</div><div>
</div><div>If you aren't interested in those things, you're going to be kind of miserable. It's pretty much the same for other European places, minus the Christmas Markets. Plus, everything goes onto winter hours, so most tourist things are closed by 4pm or at the latest 6pm, have their gardens closed or reduced, and they open later in the day, too, like 10 or 11 am. (tip, if you actually want to do these types of things, visit Vienna during Christmas. Airfare might be really high, but I could give you some hints to keep your budget down. And the city is AMAZING during the Christmas season and they actually expand their hours, rather than reducing them. We did Vienna last Christmas for about 650 EUR, including our train fare from Munich, so you can have a good time in the city for probably about 600 dollars, then just add airfare). </div><div>
</div><div>Basically, figure out what you want to do on your trip. Then you have specific things to look forward to and you have a clear idea of where you want to go. A much clearer idea than "someplace good."</div>

rungirl12 · June 2012

I agree with the previous posters in that you should sit down and ask your FI what activities he wants to do on the HM. Don't even necessarily discuss location, but figure out activies and you can research from there.

I also think Central America is a GREAT choice as someone else suggested. I went to Belize last year and found there were fancy resorts on the beach section, and there were also plenty of adventure/day trips you could do including snorkeling, boating, cave trips, seeing Mayan ruins, etc. It also wasn't pricey - our flights were about $600 each and we spent about $20-40 per night on lodging (staying in the low-budget options). But that just shows you that more luxurious options are more like the $80-100 price range and NOT $200! Think about Belize, Costa Rica and/or Guatemala after your discussion with him!

i2012do · June 2012

I think you need to have him pick 3-4 options of places he wants to go that will be IN your budget.
Remind him, that you can always plan an anniversary trip next year or the year after to go someplace that you are both dying to go to, that will be better.
Like Europe in September or October (do not go in August, it is hot, and alll Europeans are on vacation so things are closed down, beaches are packed etc).

St. Lucia is very expensive. But, have you checked ou thte Sandals there- maybe you can get a good deal.

I wouldn't go opening a million credit cards either just to get free stuff. You could be tempted to use it, plus it effects your debt to income ratio as well as your credit score because the cards are doing hard pulls on your credit (vs. soft pulls like when you pull your own or get a CC offer in the mail)...
if you want, do some researcha nd find ONE good card, that gives you miles, companion fares etc...

We have a US airway dividend member Mastercard. We get 1 mile for every dollar spent and it adds up fast. Plus mileage specials and specila perks, we also get one companion fare.
So if say, the fare is 1400$ to St. Lucia, at least you are only paying for one flight.

I'd do the research w a travel agent, but try to bookt hrough the hotel and ask about Specials.

Also, consider traveling mid week or leaving on a Wednesday to save $ on flights.
Have you checked out Cheapcarribean.com
or the Honeymoon board on the knot?

DeClue82 · June 2012

Thanks for all your responses! I don't want to open a bunch of cards, I've had CC in the past and I'm almost finished paying off that mess. Not to be repeated, haha! I don't doubt that it works, I just know me an not a good mix! I have checked out the HM board and cheap Caribbean... The latter has shown some good deals to Mexico PR DR and Jamaica... St Lucia and Belize or top 2 choices always come up unavailable for any number of dates I enter! Frustrating! This is really both our dream honeymoon...http://www.belizetreehouses.com/packages/jungleandbeachpackage I just sent it to our travel agent whose packages are actually the same price or cheaper for a Lux resort to see if she could find us a deal or something similar...

FI driving me CRAZZZZY!!! (Vent)

Re: FI driving me CRAZZZZY!!! (Vent)

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