Bridesmaids not in agreement Please help!

romamor4 · January 2012

Sooooo what do you do when you've chosen bridesmaid dresses and one of the bridesmaids has said that the gown is too expensive?? We have been shopping all over trying to decide on what dresses the girls want, they are each choosing their favorite but we are doing a color and fabric of my choosing. I priced out the gowns and felt badly because they came in at $250 so I suggested we go look again since it seems so expensive. Well, three of my girls said not to bother, that they love their gown and it's worth it for them. One of the girls said that it's too much money for her. What do I do?? Do I offer to help pay for her gown? This wouldn't be fair to the other girls though...Any suggestions or insight? The funny thing is I originally was going to have all the girls in different colors and gowns but they all gravatated towards the same color and fabric anyway. You'd think it would be more difficult to get them all to agree!! Please help!

BMcLeodTeam · January 2012

Did you ask their budgets prior to picking a dress?

Clarustin2011 · January 2012

Maybe go back to different dresses in same color. That way she can pick what she can afford.

morenachica110 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_bridesmaids-not-agreement-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:d9d020bf-1a5d-4728-944e-933621231cdfPost:765af9b0-f4d5-464f-9fb9-dcc881558993">Re: Bridesmaids not in agreement Please help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Did you ask their budgets prior to picking a dress?
Posted by BMcLeodTeam[/QUOTE]

<div>This. The way I see it, you have two options. If you really love the dresses and just have to have them in that, then I would offer to pay the difference she can't. If you're fine with finding something more practical, then I would search for something else.</div><div>
</div><div>Honestly, I wouldn't be able to afford that on my best day. =/ I could probably squeeze out, like, $100 for a very, very close friend, but other than that...</div><div>
</div><div>Don't bring it to the attention of the other girls, though, that that one is having troubles with the price. It can get embarassing.</div>

jacquiroxx · January 2012

Why don't you look on houseofbrides.com ? They usually have lower prices than the bridal stores and are certified authentic. They are a brick & mortar store that started in Illinois and both the store and the website have a very good reputation.

My girls' dresses are more than $100 less than the stores were quoting us. I'll be ordering in February!

mamameech · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_bridesmaids-not-agreement-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:d9d020bf-1a5d-4728-944e-933621231cdfPost:b0b3d0b6-03ef-4f5d-af9c-2736e467b3dd">Re: Bridesmaids not in agreement Please help!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaids not in agreement Please help! : This. The way I see it, you have two options. If you really love the dresses and just have to have them in that, then I would offer to pay the difference she can't. If you're fine with finding something more practical, then I would search for something else. Honestly, I wouldn't be able to afford that on my best day. =/ I could probably squeeze out, like, $100 for a very, very close friend, but other than that... Don't bring it to the attention of the other girls, though, that that one is having troubles with the price. It can get embarassing.
Posted by morenachica110[/QUOTE]

This!!

It's a sticky situation... eeek!

smartlypretty · January 2012

250 seems really high for a bridesmaid dress. I own 2 of them- and I never wore them again lol.

Did you try Davids Bridal, Alfred Angelo, Macys, etc? They have really nice dresses for around 100 to 150. My girls got there's for about 125 at Davids.

mcmeghan311 · January 2012

Speaking from personal experience, just pay the difference on the one dress (assuming you can afford it) and don't mention it to the other girls. My MOH picked dresses around that price for her wedding and I can't do it. Esp when there is an additional $40 rush fee added because she waited so long to go shopping. She's paying the rush fee on mine. However in this case, the other two know about it and it embarrassed me. I would avoid that.

aragx6 · January 2012

You really should have asked them from the get go what their budget was, but now I'd say if you want the dresses I would ask the BM what she can afford and quietly pay the rest. There's no reason your other BMs need to know.

romamor4 · January 2012

The thing is I did ask them their budget on the get go. They also won't have to pay for their own shoes. The problem is that they picked out dresses that will need the fabric changed out. I offered to go look for less expensive dresses to each girl on an individual basis. The other three really don't want to since we've already been all over and they love the dresses they chose.

I've been uber flexible, even to the point of having them all be in different colors! They all decided that they preferred the color I chose over the other options too, even though I also suggested champagne over light brown. This girl told me she doesn't like champagne on her skin anyway. I don't want one girl in a different color though, and the rest in the same color, unless she was my MOH.

Like I said, I'd be more than happy to go look again. I found some dresses that are absolutely lovely at House of Brides. I love the Allure collection. Maybe I will just take them for another round of dress looking. We haven't all been able to get together at the same time anyway, I've had to go with a few girls at a time because our schedules just weren't meshing.

<sigh> I might just offer to pay part of her dress to save the agony of it though. She is my childhood friend and I think I could do that. I just wanted to try and make it work in order to not have to do that. We shall see I guess!

morenachica110 · January 2012

If you really didn't want to pay, then you could just tell the girls that you changed your mind? And then it wouldn't be because of any of the BMs? Have you talked tot he girl individually to ask her if she said it was her budget the first time, has something happened since then? How does the other girl feel about all of this?

courtchace7 · January 2012

I agree with the pp. I would either try to look for less expensive options or just pay the portion for that girl.I ended up paying the balance on my girls dresses because of the cost. Even though they said it was in their budget, they were pretty pricey.

romamor4 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_bridesmaids-not-agreement-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:d9d020bf-1a5d-4728-944e-933621231cdfPost:33a2beed-094a-44ca-bc5f-b25618e8e6d7">Re: Bridesmaids not in agreement Please help!</a>:
[QUOTE]If you really didn't want to pay, then you could just tell the girls that you changed your mind? And then it wouldn't be because of any of the BMs? Have you talked tot he girl individually to ask her if she said it was her budget the first time, has something happened since then? How does the other girl feel about all of this?
Posted by morenachica110[/QUOTE]

<div>I spoke to them each individually about their budgets beforehand. The issue is that their dresses came out around $200 which is what they said their budget was. But since we all decided to swap out the fabric in order to get the color they all (and I) preferred, that tagged on an extra $30 about. I was going to tell the girls that I'd like to look again without mentioning the cost, but they asked me why we would look when they loved their dresses. So when I explained to them the cost, (I sent individual messages to them) and told them I've found other dresses that will cost less that I like and am totally open to looking at them with the girls, three of them said that they'd rather not look and just pay the extra money for the original dress. One girl said that she'd rather not spend the extra money. I completely understand! That is infact why I suggested we look again anyway! It's just hard to make a decision when three of the girls have their minds set on their gown and one can't afford it. </div><div>
</div><div>Honestly, I'm going to look for other gowns that don't have the extra cost of swapping the fabric out and offer her to switch her gown so she wouldn't have to pay the extra fee. If not, I'm starting to think I'll just spend the extra $50 and pay for it myself and being hush about it. Honestly, I had no idea letting them pick their own gowns was going to cause such an issue! Ah well, we'll get it resolved somehow and without any hurt feelings. That's the goal!</div>

bridezillatobe2009 · January 2012

sounds like this chick is being a bother. If she liked it and knew how much it cost, the onus is on her because she should have spoke up earlier.

I've been in 3 weddings, all of the dresses were around or just over $200 and I honestly haven't been able to find anything cheaper that is still formal. Hopefully DB opens in my city before I need to order

adktd2boots · January 2012

I would just find new dresses somewhere around the $100 dollar range. Just because they said they would pay up to $200 doesn't mean they HAVE to. You have plenty of time to find new ones.

Ciardasully · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_bridesmaids-not-agreement-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:d9d020bf-1a5d-4728-944e-933621231cdfPost:7d7f12e3-ebb5-40a5-adca-e837a7cfe4c5">Re: Bridesmaids not in agreement Please help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Speaking from personal experience, just pay the difference on the one dress (assuming you can afford it) and don't mention it to the other girls. My MOH picked dresses around that price for her wedding and I can't do it. Esp when there is an additional $40 rush fee added because she waited so long to go shopping. She's paying the rush fee on mine. However in this case, the other two know about it and it embarrassed me. I would avoid that.
Posted by mcmeghan311[/QUOTE]

I agree. If it is important to have these dress AND for her to be a Bridesmaid and you can help her out, I would but do it discreetly.

wineo929 · January 2012

I would probably offer to pay the difference if she originally said she could afford 200... Then it'd only be 50 for you.

I do agree that there is plenty of time to look for more dresses, so I wouldn't stress yet.

Good luck!

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