I would like to preface this post by saying I have not asked anyone to be in the WP yet, nor do I intend to until our wedding is much closer. However, I have started thinking about who I might like to have, and this question keeps bugging me.
I have a friend whom I met in college because we lived near each other in the dorms. She is generally a nice person, albeit quite demanding and sometimes controlling. For instance, she gets mad/offended if I don't text her enough for her liking on any given day, no matter what time it is or what other commitments I might have to attend to that day (yes, I have been scolded for falling asleep when she wanted someone to text at 2 AM because she was at a party that was apparently boring her...and I had to get up early for work the next day). She also seems to have some kind of weird jealousy issue or something where she scolds me for spending what she considers to be too much time on my fiance/other friends/work/anything that isn't her and not enough time with her.
When I do see her, she will do things like refuse a meal that I've planned simply because she doesn't "feel like eating that right now" and will offer zero alternatives, instead expecting me to magically read her tastes of the moment and come up with something else on the fly, and I end up going "How about this? How about that?" forever until I finally manage to hit upon some activity to her liking. It can get so it feels more like babysitting than visiting. If I visit her place, all she wants to do is get drunk (and she knows that I am not much of a drinker) and if I try to suggest other things to do she will refuse and get upset that I don't want to be her drinking buddy.
To put it mildly, my life schedule is currently complete insanity. I work two jobs, one of which operates on a bizarre day-to-day scheduling basis and the other of which is a significant commuting distance, and my family commitments also take up a considerable amount of my time. On top of that she lives a fairly significant distance away. Despite knowing all this, she consistently blames me for not working "hard enough" or not "caring enough" about our friendship, which hurts me, since I do the best I can in my current circumstances. This relationship is sometimes stressful on my end, to say the least.
She considers me her best friend, and while I am very flattered that anyone would consider me such and do my best to be a great friend, I do not necessarily reciprocate the feeling. It is clear that she fully expects to be a bridesmaid, if not the maid of honor, at my wedding. I am not entirely comfortable with either idea at this point in time. I have five sisters that I know will be in my wedding party, and I could just say "sisters only" and leave it at that. But I have another friend that I have known and been close to since childhood that I would have a very hard time leaving out; my fear is that if I include this friend, the college friend will be offended.
I know I have a while to go yet and relationships can change, but what would I do in such a situation? If I do end up including my childhood friend but not her, what do I say to her?
Did not mean for this to turn out so long! It is mostly just a vent, so...sorry for that, and thanks for listening!
