Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Second Weddings
Second Weddings
New Discussion

Freaking out

ltykaltyka member
First Comment
in Second Weddings
Sooo, my dress finally arrived, after a six month wait.  It doesn't fit.  It looks awkward and tight.  (I've not gained any weight since ordering it.  In fact, I've lost a little.)  I tried on an 8 in the store and it fit well, but I wanted the lace up back to come in a little further, so I ordered a 10.   It's a Maggie Sottero Iliana and I fell in love with it because it's "grown up" and not over the top at all and was very flattering.  Here it is (Though mine is in the light gold:  http://www.maggiesottero.com/collection.aspx?keywordText=iliana&keywordType=any&page=0&pageSize=15

The bridal shop thinks it may have been mis-cut and is sending it back asap.  But the whole experience of waiting for so long, imagining looking beautiful, and the looking lumpy and awkward was awful.  I know it's just a dress and in the grand scheme of life, it doesn't matter.  But I can't get past how not-pretty I looked and it makes me feel like this whole wedding thing is insane for me - over 40 - 2nd wedding.  (Though the first one was 21 years ago!)  What if I'm going to look bad for my own wedding?  

Does anyone else have triggers that make you feel like the whole thing is ridiculous?


Report Reply to Post

Re: Freaking out

  • ltykaltyka member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Sooo, my dress finally arrived, after a six month wait.  It doesn't fit.  It looks awkward and tight.  (I've not gained any weight since ordering it.  In fact, I've lost a little.)  I tried on an 8 in the store and it fit well, but I wanted the lace up back to come in a little further, so I ordered a 10.   It's a Maggie Sottero Iliana and I fell in love with it because it's "grown up" and not over the top at all and was very flattering.  Here it is (Though mine is in the light gold:  http://www.maggiesottero.com/collection.aspx?keywordText=iliana&keywordType=any&page=0&pageSize=15

    The bridal shop thinks it may have been mis-cut and is sending it back asap.  But the whole experience of waiting for so long, imagining looking beautiful, and the looking lumpy and awkward was awful.  I know it's just a dress and in the grand scheme of life, it doesn't matter.  But I can't get past how not-pretty I looked and it makes me feel like this whole wedding thing is insane for me - over 40 - 2nd wedding.  (Though the first one was 21 years ago!)  What if I'm going to look bad for my own wedding?  

    Does anyone else have triggers that make you feel like the whole thing is ridiculous?


    Report Reply
  • mma3mma3
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Take a deep breath you will be fine.  It is normal to have little freak outs. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree, take a deep breath, it will be fine.

    No, it's not insane to want what you want for your wedding. Regardless of age or circumstances, you should look the way you will feel beautiful.

    Make sure you stay on top of the store and your replacement comes in soon.

    Good luck.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Website and Bio Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Its a gorgeous dress, and if you loved it when you tried on the sample- its this dress- not you.  Let it come back in the right size, and I am thinking that you will fall in love with it again. 

    You will be gorgeous on your wedding day.  The joy and love will shine through.  At this point, take a bubble bath or have a glass of wine or go for a long walk.  Let the tension dissipate.  It will be ok.  ~Donna
    Report Reply
  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Right1 (Donna) is correct.  It will be fine.  In answer to your last question, yes.  We had a wedding that was just the two of us on a beach; no attendants, no guests, but as those of you who were around at the time, just one thing after another happened that made me actually post that I wanted to call it off.  I couldn't find a dress, then I found a dress he loved, and I couldn't find what I wanted in jewelry, then the shoes were a disaster, etc.  Yes, it's just clothing, but when we concentrate on the details, then they become insurmountable.  In my case, because I didn't have to worry about table settings, colors, flowers,etc., the few details I had made me just crazy.  

    Until your real dress comes in, don't panic, and remember that most dresses can be altered quite a bit--so I'm sure it will all work out fine. 

    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
    Report Reply
  • pamila51510pamila51510
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just wait for the new dress and all will be well! I know it is one of those details that is so important but the bridal store will make it right and you will put it on and it will be amazing! I am so excited to wear mine and I was worried. I do think I look like a bit of a cupcake being 38 its a bit silly but I love it! Your dress will be amazing!

    Have a glass of wine as a pp suggested or whatever you like to do to decompress! I can't wait to see the post when it all works out and all is well with the dress.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic My Bio
    Report Reply
  • thealphabridethealphabride
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I agree with mma3 it is normal to have little freak outs along the way. I have experienced them too. I will be 53 when we marry and I didn't want to look ridiculous wearing a gown etc. I also freak out every time I think of the adjustmet we will have to make moving in with my FI... that freaks me the most, cause my son and I have lived on our own for so many years.

    Then when it comes to paying for everything, I almost wish I had done something much smaller (just family) vs. 110 - 120 people. But that train has rolled down the track and there's no stopping it now, so I have to let those thoughts go and enjoy it. My planning process has been fairly stress free because I had a very long engagement (18 months). So.. no worries friend,  the little freak outs are normal.
    Your gown not fitting correctly is a good reason to freak out a bit!!

    Report Reply
  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    It'll all be fine.....really it will!

    Alpha, I'll have just turned 54 by a couple of days when T and I get married.  <sigh /> my wedding "train" is rolling down the tracks too and I am also wishing we had just eloped to Lake Tahoe.

    I tend to freak easily.  And right now I am spazzing about everything from wedding finances to guest list. Surprised  It's just been a wicked six months.  First dad died last October and I'm still wrapping my head around that.  And mom is still in Florida on her own and that is worrisome.  Then T and I decided to really do this wedding thing, and once HE got involved things escalated.  He's a very active participant in the wedding details - - it's good and it's not so good.

    But I digress........anyway OP, dress will be fab on you!
    Report Reply
  • msblumoomsblumoo
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Alpha, I have also been freaking at the thought of moving in with my FI. I will be 49 and have lived 'all'' by myself since my oldest daughter moved out 4 years ago. So yeah it is going to be a HUGE adjustment. He also has a adult daughter still at home so that will be 2 people I will now have to learn how to navigate around.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards