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Moms and Maids
soul2lane
member
MOH gone MIA! Help!
Hey guys, I'm having some MOH issues right now. I asked a friend that actually lives within 500 miles of me to be my MOH and now I'm regretting it. Two weeks after I ask her, she goes out of town for 2 months. When she comes back, she's completely different. I've only seen her twice at holidays since then. She's apparently wanting to divorce her husband now and run off to Oregon. She skipped her daughters birthday, her 14th anniversary, and her daughters first day of 1st grade to hang out with friends. She's blown me off three times for unknown reasons.
I want to uninvite her to be my MOH but I don't know if it's too soon, or if I'm just being selfish. My weddings not until next April, but I could really use some help and advice now since I don't have anyone else in this state besides my SUPER busy mother.
What do you think?
I want to uninvite her to be my MOH but I don't know if it's too soon, or if I'm just being selfish. My weddings not until next April, but I could really use some help and advice now since I don't have anyone else in this state besides my SUPER busy mother.
What do you think?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: MOH gone MIA! Help!
[QUOTE]Hey guys, I'm having some MOH issues right now. I asked a friend that actually lives within 500 miles of me to be my MOH and now I'm regretting it. Two weeks after I ask her, she goes out of town for 2 months. When she comes back, she's completely different. I've only seen her twice at holidays since then. She's apparently wanting to divorce her husband now and run off to Oregon. She skipped her daughters birthday, her 14th anniversary, and her daughters first day of 1st grade to hang out with friends. She's blown me off three times for unknown reasons. I want to uninvite her to be my MOH but I don't know if it's too soon, or if I'm just being selfish. My weddings not until next April, but I could really use some help and advice now since I don't have anyone else in this state besides my SUPER busy mother. What do you think?
Posted by soul2lane[/QUOTE]
It sounds like your friend is going through a major crisis, right now. She must be really troubled if she has missed her daughter's birthday and first day of school and is thinking about divorce. Could you extend yourself a bit to ask her if she needs anything?
It is not the MOH responsiblity to help plan your wedding. She is only required to buy her dress, show up on time, maybe hold the rings or your flowers during the ceremony and sign the marriage certificate if a witness is required. That's it. Her duties begin and end with the wedding ceremony. Anything else is extra and should be done on a voluntary basis.
If your plans are so complex that you need help, you should either hire a wedding planner or scale back to what you and your fi can handle.
Ditto-friend issue
[QUOTE]What your friend needs now is just that, a friend. Not a bride. I can understand <strong>your worries about her MOH duties,</strong> but those should go to the back burner. Just lend her your friendship and understanding for the moment. Time will tell if she still wants to be your MOH.
Posted by LittleMissCutiePie[/QUOTE]
<div>Just to be clear, she has none, other than to show up in the dress agreed upon, hold your bouquet, maybe sign your marriage license, and smile for pictures. Parties and showers are optional and she is not required to throw them. </div>
I really don't know what to do here. I know my post starter wasn't the most informative, and sounded rather rude. I'm just so stressed that my friend won't even speak to me or anyone else that I just needed some advice. As far as the wedding is concerned, I'm sure it's the least of her worries right now, which is what it should be. I just was thinking it might be easier on her and myself if I took that stress off her shoulders.
Good luck.
Severing ties with everyone that sounds so severe, Im sorry you lost your best friend. Maybe she will come back around and you can just invite her to your wedding as a guest
And I thought I had a flaky bridesmaid..
I'm really sorry. I would give you advise on how to help her, but it sounds like she doesn't want it. Sometimes those people come into AND leave our lives for a reason. Unfortunately you just have to move on without her. Its sad, but its her loss. (I feel bad for her children though...)