Shower awkwardness

elizabethmae315 · April 2012

So my first shower is this weekend! Yay! My mom's sisters are hosting, and I have a few bridesmaids and friends as well as my moms family attending.

So heres the issue

FSIL is hosting a shower on June 16th. I made a mistake in my guest list for the one on May 5, and invited FI's mom, sister, and grandmas. I told them it was my fault, FSIL is planning a shower, and they do not need to feel obligated in anyway to go to both, but may if they so choose. So I invited a lot of friends to that one, to make up for likely the small amount of family able to attend.

Well, now, my grandma has decided to throw a couples shower on June 10. A- i personally have never been to a couples shower- so I have no idea what to expect. B- the only people that are not on the guest list for one of the previous showers are a couple GMs and their wives and s.o.

So my question- have you ever been to a couples shower before? Will it be awkward to invite GMs to a shower, especially since its my family? What will i do about the shrinking guest list on the June 16th shower?

penny12986 · April 2012

We are actually having a couples shower. The host of my shower is inviting everyone with their spouse. For me, it's actually more awkward to be in a room with all women gushing over kitchen utensils so I didn't want to do that.

I think it depends on the setting. If it is more casual then I think it should be fine for the GMs to feel more comfortable. We are having a BBQ and I told my Mom who is hosting that I would really prefer to do without party games like having all the women make a big deal if a ribbon is broken on a present. Our family loves to make a big deal by saying "That means you'll have a baby soon!!" *cringe*

mekiakoo · April 2012

We are having a shared couples shower with FI and me and FI's cousin and her FI. It'll be very casual, a brunch at FI's grandparents' cabin on a lake. It'll only be FI's family/relatives at the shower.

mbody · April 2012

I don't think it's a big deal to invite your FMIL, FSIL, and FGIL to the shower your mom is throwing. My mom also invited FI's mom, two sisters, and his sister in law to the shower she is throwing (even though FSILs threw one for his side.) So, basically, we're in the same boat with that. I think it's a nice thing to do since they will be family.

You could always decline your grandmas shower. You can tell her that you really appreciate it, but since you're already having two, you think a 3rd shower would be too much. You can also tell her that you don't feel comfortable inviting people to more than one shower. (Of course with the exceptions of FI's family)

I've never been to a couples shower, but a few of my friends have and from what they've described, they aren't like 'typical' showers. They've been held at a bar and usually the gifts are alcohol. So, it's not like sitting around a table, playing games, and watching the couple open up gifts from a traditional registry.

bridetobe71412 · April 2012

I've been invited to a couples' shower but never went to one. Mostly because they were for fiance's friends and he didn't want to go, so I wasn't going to go by myself. I see no problem with a couples' shower in general, though and I don't think it's a problem that there's an overlapping guest list - they'll decline if they don't want to come!

If I were in your shoes, I would decline the third shower. But that's just me.

butterflyjumper1 · April 2012

I think I would decline the third shower, too. I have never been to more than one shower for one person, and it sounds like your guest list overlap might make for some really small showers. It's awesome that so many people want to host for you! I just think that lots of people would be hesitant to go to more than one shower, and I think you would get a better turnout with just having two showers with separate guest lists.

molly&dale · April 2012

The couples showers I have been to have been just like other showers. Finger foods and opening gifts, just no dumb games. If you think it will be overkill I would not have the third shower. Or does it have to be a couples shower? Can it just be more like a family dinner? We are having three but they are for very distinct groups of people. His family, our church, and my coworkers. Our church shower will most likely be entire families, just to make it easier on guests. Kids can go outside and play while adults enjoy the party. Our shower that is being thrown by FSIL will basically be a family dinner at her house. Only my coworker shower will be the traditional ladies only shower, and it will be more about the wine than anything else!!

flobear100 · May 2012

You can always tell people not to feel that they need to give you gifts at all of the showers. I ended up having two (one April 21 and the second one is this weekend). The only overlap is my Mom and my MOH since one was out of town and the other is local. I told my MOH not to get me any shower gifts since she went to the OOT one with me and told my Mom no gifts but she didn't listen.

Shower awkwardness

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