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How many times have you had to remind your BMs....

To go get fitted for their dresses? One of my MOH's and one of my BM's still have not gone. I know they have time, I'm just annoyed because there was 2 deadlines that came and went (over a 2 month span). The dress shop is local for both of them, so not hard to get to. I'm really just annoyed I have to keep reminding people, I feel like a broken record and it's to the point where I just feel like I'm inconveniencing them. How many times have you had to remind your BMs to get fitted?
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Re: How many times have you had to remind your BMs....

  • achiduckachiduck member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited February 2012
    Maybe I'm just lucky but I made two trips to the bridal store - one with 3 of my girls and another with the last. All of them were measured and purchased their dresses on those days.

    Good luck!

    Edit: I should mention that they've just ordered their dresses. They won't arrive for another 4 months or so.
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  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    1000 Comments
    edited February 2012
    I didn't. I just gave them the absolute last deadline and sent one reminder the week before that.

    If they don't get the dress then they're no longer part of the wedding party, they're a guest.

    You have 6 months before the wedding. That's about the time to start LOOKING for BM dresses, not the final deadline for getting fitted. 6 months is a LONG time. Maybe these girls are trying to lose weight. Maybe they don't have the money yet. The fact that you've had 2 deadlines come and go makes me think these are arbitrary deadlines that you decided on, not the actual deadline of when the shop MUST have them ordered. Also, shops lie to try to get ppl to order their dresses right away, because they don't want you changing your mind. Find out from the shop what the absolute LAST day to order is and tell your girls that and then leave it alone.
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  • I guess I got lucky, because we got our dresses from Banana Republic and they had a weekend long sale everything 35% off, so that was all the motivation they needed to order them.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-many-times-have-you-had-to-remind-your-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:66ef718c-83d3-4a33-b82c-78338328e35ePost:f205de9c-f827-4bdd-8f6d-c8e17245f237">Re: How many times have you had to remind your BMs....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't.<strong> I just gave them the absolute last deadline and sent one reminder the week before that. </strong>If they don't get the dress then they're no longer part of the wedding party, they're a guest. You have 6 months before the wedding. That's about the time to start LOOKING for BM dresses, not the final deadline for getting fitted. 6 months is a LONG time. Maybe these girls are trying to lose weight. Maybe they don't have the money yet. The fact that you've had 2 deadlines come and go makes me think these are arbitrary deadlines that you decided on, not the actual deadline of when the shop MUST have them ordered. Also, shops lie to try to get ppl to order their dresses right away, because they don't want you changing your mind. Find out from the shop what the absolute LAST day to order is and tell your girls that and then leave it alone.
    Posted by LoveMuffins[/QUOTE]
    This, exactly.<div>
    </div><div>My MOH already had a dress she used in a previous wedding, so no fitting for her. My BM waited until the 2 month mark to finally BUY a dress. She fell in love with a $300 dress she couldn't afford, even though I was showing her $75 options. I asked her several times & even had my mom gently remind her that she's running out of time. I eventually gave her a deadline. I said the end of Feburary. Two weeks later she bought a dress. Done deal.</div>
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-many-times-have-you-had-to-remind-your-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:66ef718c-83d3-4a33-b82c-78338328e35ePost:63f48048-e2b4-4ca1-92a5-6fad48d845c7">How many times have you had to remind your BMs....</a>:
    [QUOTE]To go get fitted for their dresses? One of my MOH's and one of my BM's still have not gone. I know they have time,<strong> I'm just annoyed because there was 2 deadlines that came and went (over a 2 month span).</strong> The dress shop is local for both of them, so not hard to get to. I'm really just annoyed I have to keep reminding people, I feel like a broken record and it's to the point where I just feel like I'm inconveniencing them. How many times have you had to remind your BMs to get fitted?
    Posted by maribeth721[/QUOTE]

    Who set these "deadlines"?

  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2012
    To get fitted?  The deadline is the wedding day.  Anything else is way over managing them.

    Ordering the dress or getting measurements is a different story.
  • I wouldn't be getting fitted for a wedding in September yet either.
  • I had to remind one girl to order her dress a couple of times. But after the second I just said "Eff it. If she doesn't get the dress she doesn't get it and she's not in the wedding" 
    I didn't stress out over it.
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  • I didn't keep reminding them. Luckily though, they didn't need to be reminded too much. I told them when I picked out the dress & that they could order it whenenver. Then, about 5 months out, I told them the lady from DB called & asked to have the BMs come in soon to order their dresses. After this, they all ordered their dress fairly quickly.

    I didn't feel the need to keep nagging them about it, because (like a PP said) if they didn't get their dress, they were no longer in the WP. So after 2 reminders, it was their problem, not mine :)
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  • I didn't.  2 of my BM's fit into their dresses off the rack, and the one that needed alterations (my sister) kept me in the loop about when she was going to get hers altered (which she's in the process of doing now), because she wanted to drop a couple pounds before getting her dress altered. 

    I wouldn't be too worried about fittings for BM dresses this far out from your wedding.  If you were 2 or 3 months out, then maybe.
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  • Ummmm.... zero times.  Because they're adults who can make their own decisions about when/how to get their dresses altered.
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  • aragx6aragx6 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited February 2012
    I sent an email after the commotion of the holidays was well over detailing the dresses from which they could choose, the approximate cost, from where they should be ordered (in order to get a $40 discount I'd finagled) and the deadline to order.

    The salon told me 6 months before, so that's the date I gave the girls, but I'm certain she overcompensated so even if they end up fudging this date a bit I'm not going to panic.

    I sent an email late last week to remind them of the impending deadline (they have to be paid in full when purchased so I didn't want to just remind them 5 days before or something) and let them know that the MOH and I were both going to be in town this weekend and going to the salon at 10 a.m. on Saturday and they were welcome to join. It looks like all of them are planning on that now.

    Still not certain if you mean ordered or fitted tho ...
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  • I also didn't feel the need to nag them.  One girl ordered hers 2 weeks past the "deadline" and the dress got here 2 months before the wedding.  The other girl didn't pick up/pay off the dress until 3 weeks before the wedding.

    I completely understand that you are worried they won't get their dress and thus not be in the wedding but I don't think this will happen.  Just let them run their course and get the dress when they can.  The worst would be that they cannot be in the wedding, which would be super regrettable but there is nothing you can really do about it (other than be a nagging bridezilla).
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  • I didn't.

    And, unlike the others, I assume you mean measured to order the dresses, not an actual fitting after receiving them?  Either way, they were told when the deadline was, and then they all took care of it.  I don't think we even talked about it again until the dresses were in. 

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  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2012
    Are you talking about getting measured to determine the size they need to order?  Or are you meaning they already have their dresses and you want them to get it altered already?  I'm hoping it's the first, because the latter is BSC at this point (at any point really), so I'm basing the rest of my response on the assumption that it's the former.

    6 months out seems really far in advance for a BM dress (actually 8 months since you said the first deadline was 2 months ago).  My advice would be to contact the shop you are purchasing them from, and ask what their absolute latest date is to order them without a rush fee (which is usually around 3-4 months depending on the designer).  Let your BM's know, and then about a week before that date, remind them the date is approaching.  After that, they can either choose to pay the rush fee, or not have the dress and remove themselves from the WP.

    Regardless, stop nagging them about it.  It will only make you out to be the bad guy, even when you are just trying to keep people on schedule.  Let them be adults and deal with the consequences of their decisions.
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  • I am getting married in Aug and haven't even thought about bridesmaid dresses yet.  I am fully planning on telling my girls to just pick a nice dark blue dress to match the blue in my dress and leave it at that.  There are more important things to stress over.
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  • I didn't. I ask my BMs their sizes and bought them myself. They were only $40 and were so cute so I went ahead and asked my BMs if it was okay if I just bought the dresses for them. They were both low on cash and were very grateful I offered. I was glad I could do that for them.
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  • I'm not telling mine when they should get fitted, I think they are responsible enough to do that.  Ordering the dress and getting a quick measurement I'm giving them until mid-March.  That will be the six month mark.  
  • my BMs are awesome. We have not had any conflict so far (2.5 months to go!).  It's also different for us though, we're all students, so they're getting their fittings done during reading week. It's harder to put it off "one more day" when you know you have 7 days at home and then you're gone to school again for another month or two.
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  • quirky75quirky75 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_how-many-times-have-you-had-to-remind-your-bms?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:66ef718c-83d3-4a33-b82c-78338328e35ePost:df634586-2428-4e4f-889a-b07727ac0008">Re: How many times have you had to remind your BMs....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I didn't. And, unlike the others, I assume you mean measured to order the dresses, not an actual fitting after receiving them?  Either way, they were told when the deadline was, and then they all took care of it.  I don't think we even talked about it again until the dresses were in. 
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

    Agreed. I sent my three bridesmaids the description of the dress and they were on their own to get it. 2 of them called me when they were going to pick it up. The third I didn't hear anything from and didn't bug her about it so I didn't even know until about a month before the wedding that she did have her dress.

    Give your bridesmaids the info they need and trust them to take care of it. It's not worth stressing over.
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  • We had a deadline to order the dresses if the girls wanted the 20% off. That is all I am getting involved with. They picked their style of dress, and they get to figure out when to get it altered if they need it. I have other things to worry about.

    I am not paying for any of their dress stuff though, I could see a deadline if you were paying. In that case, tell them that the deadline is X date if they want to take you up on your offer.
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