Please Help!

KaitlinRich · June 2011

Okay, I haven't been on in a while but I really need help as to what to do. I am getting married in April of 2013 and I have been trying to figure out my wedding party. I have already decided I want my older and younger sister to be my bridesmaids. My FI is going to have his three brothers as his groomsmen. Here is my problem, my FI has a sister and that would even everything out perfectly (I like symmetry) but I also have a college friend that I desperately want to be my bridesmaid but I don't want his sister to be left out. I really don't know what to do. I doubt she would care but I feel it would look funny with all his brothers in it and his dad doing the ceremony (he is a pastor). Any advice would be appreciated.

joyfulbride424 · June 2011

Honest opinion: wait. Friends change over time and things could look a lot different from now. I'd wait until you're at least a year or less away to actually ask people.

iamjoesgurl · June 2011

I agree with Joy that it would be good to wait until you are about a year out. Then when you get to that time, it's okay to have uneven sides. For example, you could have one of the guys escort two of the girls. I've seen too many situations where ladies made a decision so early and regretted it. If anyone asks, you can just say, "We haven't really decided on our wedding party and will be waiting to make decisions until it is closer to our wedding date."

KaitlinRich · June 2011

I do understand waiting to decide. However I don't think much will change as it is predominately family but basically I need to stop stressing. (I tend to get too worked up over planning...) Thank you ladies! Sometimes I just need to hear it from someone else!

sessionswedding · June 2011

Yeah, the general rule is no sooner than 9 months before the wedding. If your wedding were in April of 2012 you would just now be needing to worry about this, so relax! You've got plenty of time to figure this stuff out.

LittleBigO · June 2011

I agree with PPs. And if you do have uneven sides, fpaemp (Emily) had a really cool thing today where her BMs and GM stood in their pairs kind of semi-circled BEHIND her, the officiant and her honey. If you did that, the "odd" pair could be in the middle, with a girl on either side. Then from there you could have guy girl, like this:

ox oxo xo

Make sense?

mrandmrsbrist · June 2011

I agree with everyone else that you should wait.

But since we're talking about it...
I'm having JUST siblings in our wedding party. I understand what you mean about it being just family, so it won't change much. For me, sticking to immediate family was key to keeping the drama down. I'm so glad I made that choice. I chose to have uneven sides over having one of my best friends of over 10 years in the WP.

Your situation is probably different. But keep in mind what the girls said. Friends (even friends you had all through college) change. And you're looking at about 11 months...a lot can change in that time.

perkins81 · June 2011

You don't need to accommodate his side. Friends/family of the Bride stand by her side and friends/family of the groom stand by his side. When my brother got married, I certainly wasn't in the wedding party. I hardly knew his fiance. They did ask me to light some candles at the beginning so I felt included, but there was no need to put me in the bridal party.

faith415 · June 2011

I agree with PP, wait!!! I asked my bridal party right around a year out, since then one of my BM, who is not only a roommate, but one of my best friends through college, has almost completly stopped talking to me and had a falling out with our other roommates and another of my BMs. So now I'm stuck with a BM who I'm not really friends with anymore and really wish that I had held out a little longer.

Waiting awhile will give you time to sort out your feelings on the matter. You have plenty of time, so just put it out of your mind and re-evaluate when it in another year or so.

FaithCaitlin · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_please-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:5474a192-5364-415e-aacb-e377c50a2887Post:469811ab-117c-4a70-842f-273c1a36de7a">Re: Please Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Honest opinion: wait. Friends change over time and things could look a lot different from now. I'd wait until you're at least a year or less away to actually ask people.
Posted by joyfulbride424[/QUOTE]
Agreed.<div>
</div><div>For the record, however, I'd ask his sister.</div>

amongthelilies25 · June 2011

ya i asked my FI's sister to be in WP. So it is all family..... we chose to do it this way to because 1)it would be hard because friends do change and 2) when i didn't choose certain friends i could just say "oh ya.. we just went with family" and hopefully not offend anyone.

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