this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Wedding Shower - No registry

crssycurlcrssycurl
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hello everyone,

My fiance and I are really set on getting a house soon after our wedding and we are pretty much set with all the household things we could need since we have both lived on our own for years.

Would it be rude to not have a wedding registry and just ask guests to donate to our "house fund" as a gift?

Thanks!
Report Reply to Post

Re: Wedding Shower - No registry

  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Absolutely rude. If you want cash, then make a veeery small registry. People will get the hint. You can also spread by word of mouth that you are saving for a home.

    Report Reply
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Please note that "oh, we're saving for a home," is the only thing you say. You can't say "please give us cash for our home.". It's subtle but a real difference. People can do with that information what they want. It's their money to give as they see fit.

    Report Reply
  • Ali092011Ali092011 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    What Joy said. Also, since you titled your post "Wedding Shower," it's important to note that if you are not having a registry, you should not have a shower. If someone offers you a shower, you should politely decline, as you are not registering, but you can accept a tea or luncheon in your honor with your closest female family/friends if someone insists on throwing something for you. It's just that the purpose of a shower is basically to watch the bride open gifts, and no one wants to watch you open envelopes of cash or gift cards.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Follow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
  • crssycurlcrssycurl
    First Comment
    Great. Thank you for the advice!
    Report Reply
  • amyb140amyb140 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    Not true about the registry you're perfectly fine to accept a shower even if you don't have a registry. People are capable of buying lovely gifts without being told exactly what they should be. I didn't have a registry because I think they're rude that doesn't mean I didn't want or accept gifts!
    imageAnniversary
    Report Reply
  • Ali092011Ali092011 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-shower-no-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3f17a344-cf19-4a63-b61a-2b5a663b0301Post:5fb4b188-a74c-44da-be3e-21f976e0478e">Re:Wedding Shower No registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]Not true about the registry you're perfectly fine to accept a shower even if you don't have a registry. People are capable of buying lovely gifts without being told exactly what they should be. I didn't have a registry because I think they're rude that doesn't mean I didn't want or accept gifts!
    Posted by amyb140[/QUOTE]

    That's true but in OP's case, she specifically said they don't need any household items and they don't want physical gifts.

    I should add, though, that there are "alternative" showers if a friend or family member is insistent on throwing you a shower. My mom offered to throw me a lingerie shower, but I wasn't particularly comfortable receiving lingerie in front of a bunch of people. But some people love the idea and find it really fun! There are also recipe showers, "stock the bar" showers, Christmas ornament showers, etc. Basically, you can do anything except a "cash only" or "gift card only" shower.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Follow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
  • arendivaarendiva member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    I went to a shower once where the only item on the registry was sears gift cards. Opening presents wasn't much fun at that shower. Just sayin'.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • LiLe422LiLe422 member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-shower-no-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3f17a344-cf19-4a63-b61a-2b5a663b0301Post:38a09488-c510-418c-9a85-82144ae7d065">Re: Wedding Shower - No registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes it would be rude. The point of the shower is to shower the bride with gifts, not cash. The only women who get showered with cash are the entertainment at the bachelor party. If you don't want gifts, skip the shower and create a teeny tiny registry. People will take the hint and give cash wedding gifts.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    Exactly this. 
    image


    Wedding Countdown Ticker


    Report Reply
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-shower-no-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3f17a344-cf19-4a63-b61a-2b5a663b0301Post:5fb4b188-a74c-44da-be3e-21f976e0478e">Re:Wedding Shower No registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]Not true about the registry you're perfectly fine to accept a shower even if you don't have a registry. People are capable of buying lovely gifts without being told exactly what they should be. I didn't have a registry because I think they're rude that doesn't mean I didn't want or accept gifts!
    Posted by amyb140[/QUOTE]

    A registry lets your guests know what you need.  What happens if you get 5 toasters and there are no gift receipts?  And lovely to one person can be hideous to another.  I know I know.....it's a gift.  But I wouldn't keep stuff around my house that I didn't like or was a duplicate just because someone gave it to me.
    Report Reply
  • violet355violet355
    10 Comments
    make a gift registry anyway...even if it's a small one.  you'll find stuff you might need/want, or perhaps have some stuff you'd like to upgrade.

    i had a tough time making my registry (we've lived together for 2 years and have no plans to move anywhere for the time being), but still found plenty of stuff to register for.
    Report Reply
  • amyb140amyb140 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-shower-no-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3f17a344-cf19-4a63-b61a-2b5a663b0301Post:f79318bb-c773-478d-9b2a-80b58e20f53a">Re:Wedding Shower No registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Wedding Shower No registry : A registry lets your guests know what you need.  What happens if you get 5 toasters and there are no gift receipts?  And lovely to one person can be hideous to another.  I know I know.....it's a gift.  But I wouldn't keep stuff around my house that I didn't like or was a duplicate just because someone gave it to me.
    Posted by JoanE2012[/QUOTE]
    I know my opinion isn't popular, but I still don't like registries.  Their original purpose was to let people know about chosen patterns for china, crystal, and silver, which does make sense to me.  Since I didn't want or need any of those, I saw no need to register.<div>
    </div><div>I think they've evolved into something kind of gross, actually - they imply that gifts are required, and people register for SO. Much. Stuff.  I know the party line on here is that honeymoon registries, etc. are rude, but I truly don't see the difference - you're still asking people for specific things.</div><div>
    </div><div>I truly think that it's one of those things that has become so common that people assume it's not rude BECAUSE it's so common.  Kind of like how a lot of people think dollar dances aren't rude because "everyone does them."</div>
    imageAnniversary
    Report Reply
  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-shower-no-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3f17a344-cf19-4a63-b61a-2b5a663b0301Post:fb34281c-bb1c-4af8-9b23-d67085102c42">Re:Wedding Shower No registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Wedding Shower No registry : I know my opinion isn't popular, but I still don't like registries.  Their original purpose was to let people know about chosen patterns for china, crystal, and silver, which does make sense to me.  Since I didn't want or need any of those, I saw no need to register. I think they've evolved into something kind of gross, actually - they imply that gifts are required, and people register for SO. Much. Stuff.  I know the party line on here is that honeymoon registries, etc. are rude, but I truly don't see the difference - you're still asking people for specific things. I truly think that it's one of those things that has become so common that people assume it's not rude BECAUSE it's so common.  Kind of like how a lot of people think dollar dances aren't rude because "everyone does them."
    Posted by amyb140[/QUOTE]

    Nah, I think dollar dances are incredibly rude.  As a guest, I appreciate a registry.  Unless I'm super close with the bride, how am I supposed to know what they need?  Let's face it, there's only so many frames/vases that a bride can receive before it starts becoming clutter in the house.
    Report Reply
  • reppunzelreppunzel member
    500 Comments
    Registries aren't subpeonas for gifts -- they are guides for those who choose to buy one, letting them know what the bride needs/would prefer (colors, patterns, etc.).  Especially in a day when couples marry later in life and often have some of the basics (like a toaster), it helps the guests know what they don't have.

    No bride has to register, but if you don't, then expect the chili pepper lamps and 5 sets of the same casserole dishes.  I attended a shower where this happened (the casserole dishes) and the bride's FSIL complained all over about it (none too quietly).  A small registry is a courtesy to shower guests. 
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards