Inlaw issues

Re: Inlaw issues

• L_Woods member

  

  January 2012 edited January 2012

  Why can't his Dad do the reading? Is there some strange law that your marriage won't count unless it is a friend/cousin doing the reading?

  Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

  Report0 Reply
• DG1 member

  

  January 2012

  
  He does sound way too into his dad.  If you were writing this about his mom, I think everyone would be cautioning you about marrying someone who can't cut the cord. This is the same thing.
  
  You can't live your whole life walking on eggshells around this man. Is he going to be invited into the delivery room when you're squeezing a baby out of your vagina, for fear of offending him otherwise? There are a million large and small ways this is going to affect your life. Think hard.

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• Kas254 member

  

  January 2012

  He is really "into" his dad, but is getting better. We are planning a move across the country, so I'm hoping that will help.
  
  Obviously there is no "law" that the marriage won't count. I think you are missing the larger context of my question. When I first met my FI he was calling his dad literally 5-6x a day. He's 33 years old. Now he's down to every other day. I'm not joking when I say they were totally codependent. If this weren't the case, I wouldn't be as annoyed by his suggestion of having the Dad play several roles in the wedding.
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• KatoNorway

  

  January 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_inlaw-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:80f67a9c-8d79-4b4a-a66b-960ae4e733f0Post:2339efae-5839-4e58-8040-a1d707279ec0">Inlaw issues</a>:
  [QUOTE]Hi all, I've been having some wedding-role issues that I hope you guys could give your opinion on. My fiance originally wanted his father to be his best man, which I thought was odd. Then we decided not to do a bridal party, so now his dad and mom are walking him down the aisle at the beginning of the ceremony. His dad is also going to give the rings to the priest and rabbi (interfaith wedding). Then this morning I asked my fiance who he would like to do a reading, and instead of a friend or a cousin, he again mentions his dad! Some background: he and his dad used to have a really codependent relationship. My fiance has in many ways gotten over this, but his dad is still nuts and so FI is constantly worried about "offending" dad. For an idea of how the dad is, this is a man who didn't speak to my FI for over a week around the holidays simply b/c my FI didn't invite him to an event that we knew the dad couldnt' attend anyway, due to a prior commitment.   Anyway, I just got really annoyed when my FI mentioned wanting to have his dad do the reading. I said, don't you want to include anyone else in our wedding? Am I being irrational? I felt like saying, why don't you just marry your dad too!
  Posted by Kas254[/QUOTE]
  Ok, so your question is you want to know if your being irrational. Personally, I don't think so. Since your not having a WP, make a list of the people you would want included besides FI dad. Take that list to your FI and see if FI Dad would be a better fit as giving the rings or the reading. I wouldn't want him to do both, either. Especially if DH & I agreed no WP. You risk offending other family/friends.

  

  Report0 Reply
• ReturnOfKuus member

  

  January 2012

  This:
  
  "When I first met my FI he was calling his dad literally 5-6x a day."
  
  is someone you don't accept a second date with.  wtf?!

  

  Report0 Reply