Grandma can't make the wedding

joe&cassie · July 2012

So I know that I have awhile until the wedding. 2 years ish. However, I realized today that my grandma won't ever be able to make it to our wedding. My grandma is in a nursing home/rehab center and on oxygen 24/7. There is no way she can make it as I'm in Texas and she is in Ohio and her doctors would never let her leave. She can leave for short periods at a time (a couple hours max). I'm completely devestated by this fact. I was super close to her growing up and she is losing her memory. I'm trying to figure out a way to make her feel a part of the day. My first thought was to have a second ceremony that december in ohio so that she could be there and see my dress. However, I know people really frown on "redos" and I have a feeling that my aunt and uncle who live close by wouldn't come down for the actual ceremony if I did that. Does anyone have any ideas or did anyone have this happen to them? She's the only family member who wouldn't be able to make it as of right now.

GJones27 · July 2012

I'm terribly sorry to hear. That is a big reason why I had my wedding in the place where I'm from, even though I hadn't lived there in eight years or so. And since my husband is from Brazil, a lot of relatives couldn't make it to our wedding. My only idea is to record the event, either live or on video, and I'm sure she'll enjoy it. I wouldn't redo anything as it's not genuine. She will be there with you in spirit.

drama1308 · July 2012

My great grandma couldn't make it to our wedding, so I arraged for flowers and a note to be delievered to her on our wedding day.

Have special pictures taken just for your grandma and send them to you soon after the wedding. You could also try to arrange a to stream the wedding online so she can watch and feel like she's part of your big day.

I know it's tough, but you have 2 years to figure out how to include her

DramaGeek · July 2012

You could arrange to Skype with her before the ceremony, then leave it on so she can watch the wedding. Or set up streaming. I think it was Emily who did that, she could probably help you. Then when you go in December take your dress and your photos.

agape1cor813 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_grandma-cant-make-the-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:9d3aa306-030b-49f7-b220-306388677fdbPost:cd443bba-cf2b-4972-b131-0d820644ccb7">Re: Grandma can't make the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]You could arrange to Skype with her before the ceremony, then leave it on so she can watch the wedding. Or set up streaming. I think it was Emily who did that, she could probably help you. Then when you go in December take your dress and your photos.
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

<div>I second the Skype thing ... you could even arrange it so that you and your grandma could have a nice chat just the two of you before the ceremony. </div>

Ash61612 · July 2012

I like the idea of skyping the wedding of getting it recorded. Sorry to hear she won't be able to attend your wedding.

GunzNRoses213 · July 2012

I'd Skype or at least get her a really good copy /dvd of it .. but if you could maybe just make the trip and wear your dress without a ceremony ? I did something like that a week ago actually ... My kid's other grandma [ not any relation to my fiance ] is like another Mom of mine but it's odd to have your X fiances mom at your wedding ... So i just kinda too my dress over and put it on /suprised her with it and she was thrilled to at least see me in it ...

Plus at a nursing home all the ladies would probably love to see anyone in a dress they love talking about weddings ... [ at least at mine they did ]

My FI's Nanny cant come she has altzimers and in a home and wont be able to handle the day .

ravenray · July 2012

None of my blood grandparents came to my wedding. I was really sad about this. My dad's father died 4 months before the wedding, but his wife came so that was good. My dad's mom is really sick and couldn't come. My other grandparents refused to come because of religious reasons. I was so sad that they weren't coming but on the day of I barely noticed that they weren't there.

Skype is a great option! I am so sorry to hear she can't come. Feel free to talk with me about it any time.

FaithCaitlin · July 2012

My 93 yo Grandma can't make our wedding either. It's upsetting but we're trying to remain positive so she doesn't feel down.

I like the idea of Skyping if there is someone able to help her with it. If not, pay for a videographer and show her later. I love the idea of going to visit her and wearing your dress- you can take pictures, the video, etc.

sessionswedding · July 2012

DH's grandmother died two weeks before our wedding. I missed the wake because I was at my bachelorette party. There would have been no way for us to move the wedding to any time or place for her to have been there. FWIW, I agree with the Skyping suggestions. She may not be able to physically be there no matter what you try.

Grandma can't make the wedding

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