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how to address an invite to a soon-to-be priest

psichickpsichick
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in Catholic Weddings
ok ladies, need some help on this one........

so one of FI's cousins is currently in the seminary. he is not a priest yet. he goes by brother finbar there. when home, pretty much everyone calls him brian though. is "brother" a formal title or a common use one? i'm just not sure if i should address the envelope by using brother or just his name. 

i also cannot just ask him, he's not really easy to get in touch with when he's away. i usually see him at family gatherings a few times a year. 

i'm leaning toward using brother but i'm not sure if that's appropriate. any help would be great. thanks!
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Re: how to address an invite to a soon-to-be priest

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    agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I assume he is in a religious order? If he is, and wears a habit, Brother is probably his official title.


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    psichickpsichick
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    edited December 2011
    he does not wear a habit, at least not that i know of. i have never seen him at his seminary, only at family gatherings at people's houses. when he is out in public he wears a collar, but he is not referred to as father yet because he has not been ordained. i believe that he has about a year before he should be ordained as a priest. 
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    agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, the collar can be considered a habit in some religious communities. I'm not aware anywhere of the secular priesthood calling each other "brother" as an official title.

    In religious communities, there are levels. The first is postulant, where they still go by their name. Then novice, scholastic, or some other level. Its at this point that they are called "brother" or "sister". I would do some asking around.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ok now, I was the first to respond to this post this AM.  Did someone delete it? What is up with that?
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    psichickpsichick
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    edited December 2011
    agapecarrie - someone suggested that i call the seminary that he's at and ask them what his official title would be, i think that's going to be the best bet at this point since it's so unclear what it really is. i just know him as brother. 

    missysue - i never saw you post in this thread? sorry.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oops, I am sorry. I responded to your post on the invites and paper board.
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    ellen73ellen73
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    edited December 2011
    I would call and ask his parents,   or as PP suggested, call and ask the seminary.  It sounds as if he's in an order, and not a diocesan seminary.   Each order has their own formation process and titles that go along with that.  Postulant is not an official level for every seminary.  For example- Jesuits are novices (first two years), then scholastics, then regents.   Their title changes when they profess first vows, and I think that's just when they add S.J. to the end of their name (Society of Jesus).  Same with Holy Cross-  they are first candidates, then novices, then professed seminarians/or professed brother scholastics.   Cappuchin monks do the novitiate first, then they have a year of silence, then they take first vows.  After this they actually change names and refer to each other as "Brother NewName".     So basically- I would find out what order he is a part of, and ask someone there if no one in the family knows how to address him.   In my experience-  they realize they are in a unique position and will not get hung up on how they are addressed (especially by family and close friends) unless they have specifically told you what they wish to now be called.  Good luck!!
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