Wedding Woes

Re: Wedding Woes

• itzMS member

  

  October 2012

  Sorry you're upset. Try to take happiness in the fact that you obviously have a man that loves you. Could the two of you host friends (or cousins or neighbors) as a couple for dinner or to watch the big game, etc? Not for the purpose of finding bridesmaids, but to expand your social group a bit so you don't feel so isolated?
  
  It doesn't have to cost an arm & a leg...a nice salad, some burgers on the grill...

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• jennylee813 member

  

  October 2012

  Sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time.
  
  I agree with PPs - the days of her side and his side at the ceremony are long gone. If you're worried about it, put out a sign asking guests to "choose a seat, not a side". There are lots of nicely worded ones on Pinterest.
  
  While your children can't sign the license (unless they're adults) they can certainly stand with you. I'm planning to have my ds walk me down the aisle (he will be 13) and my dd will be a junior bridesmaid (age 10).
  
  And yes, making friends as an adult is tough. I moved to a whole new place last year where I only knew FI, and now we have a wonderful circle of friends. Putting yourself out there and opening yourself to new experiences and people goes a long way. The first step is the scariest.
  
  Good luck.

  

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• ARAvery

  

  October 2012

  As for the bridal party, I've been to weddings with no attendants at all.  Honestly, it's very intimate and personal and in NO way an indicator of whether or not the bride or groom have friends.  

  
  

  I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your father.  I'd say that if you do not have a family member who you would be comfortable leading you up the aisle, either go it alone (again, very intimate), have your FH walk with you (greet you at the entrance and walk with you from there), or have your kids walk with you .

  
  

  Your wedding day is about you and your future husband, and no one else (well, of course your children as well).  Yes, the support of family can be amazing (yet sometimes overwhelming), but it comes down to you and him. It's a day to celebrate the first day of yours and your husbands' new life together.

  
  

  All the best .. it will be an amazing day no matter what.

  
  

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• KellyV1117 member

  

  October 2012

  Thank you everyone for your responses. Well it's good to know the his side her side thing is considered obsolete. My fiancee and I are both extremely informal people and your responses have helped to make me feel more at ease. I would ask my FI to walk with me but he most likely will not be coming. I like the idea about having my kids stand with me. The only problem is they are young and I don't think they would want to stand at the altar (my kids ages are 2, 5, 8.) but, I may ask my oldest son to walk down the aisle with me! To address the friendless issue I think once my kids get a little older and become more independent I will have more time to be able to spend on outside relationships. Thanks again everyone so much for your replys. I feel so much better. I guess now all I can do is decide on what is right for us and find ways to include the ones I love where I can.

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• Marrin713 member

  

  October 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_wedding-woes?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:fe311e6b-ff59-4bd7-9d9a-08863a221b10Post:d51b2939-69ca-442b-b325-69986553d86a">Re: Wedding Woes</a>:
  [QUOTE]Thank you everyone for your responses. Well it's good to know the his side her side thing is considered obsolete. My fiancee and I are both extremely informal people and your responses have helped to make me feel more at ease. <strong>I would ask my FI to walk with me but he most likely will not be coming.</strong> I like the idea about having my kids stand with me. The only problem is they are young and I don't think they would want to stand at the altar (my kids ages are 2, 5, 8.) but, I may ask my oldest son to walk down the aisle with me! :) To address the friendless issue I think once my kids get a little older and become more independent I will have more time to be able to spend on outside relationships. Thanks again everyone so much for your replys. I feel so much better. I guess now all I can do is decide on what is right for us and find ways to include the ones I love where I can.
  Posted by KellyV1117[/QUOTE]
  
  Huh?
  
  H and I got married at the courthouse and everyone just filed in and sat wherever they wanted.Out of the 4 or 5 weddings we have attened over the last year or so, I think only two may have had "sides."
  
  Just a thought on making friends - get involved with your older kid's school activities.  Do you and your fiance have "couple" friends?  Maybe if the guys get together to golf or play cards or something, you can plan something with the wives/g-friends.  Make the first move :)

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• KellyV1117 member

  

  October 2012

  Marrin I have never been to a wedding before. I asked the question because I didn't know that it was ok for anyone to sit anywhere. My biggest concern was not about how many people were on whose side, but more about not having a maid of honor or bridesmaids, or having anyone from my side of the family to come to our wedding. There are a lot of other issues and complications that make everything more difficult than what I have said. So I figured I'd spare everyone the details, lol.

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• tiny speck member

  

  October 2012

  I'm 26, have 3 sisters, and a couple of close friends. But I've decided not to have a MOH or any bridesmaids. My FI and I will also walk down the aisle together. It will be a smallish wedding anyway, so we like that it will have an intimate feel. And we're not worried about anyone thinking, "oh, wow, no wedding party, they must not have any friends!!!" or anything like that. So, don't worry about it so much. It seems a bit like you have this idea of the perfect wedding in your head, and how things "should" be, but every wedding is different, so try not to get hung up on ideals.
  
  I am also confused as to what you meant when you said you'd ask your FI to walk down the aisle with you but he won't be coming. ???

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• KellyV1117 member

  

  October 2012 edited October 2012

  LoL I am new to this site and all the lingo. I thought FI meant father in law, not fiancee. My fiancees father most likely will not be coming is what I was meaning to say. So I don't have anyone to walk me down the aisle, but I think I may have my oldest son walk with me! I hope my fiancee will be there with me after all it is our wedding! Lmao Sorry for the confusion.

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• tiny speck member

  

  October 2012

  Ah that makes sense then. Still, though, why not just walk down the aisle with your fiance? (if you decide not to have your son walk you which of course would also be fine)

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