Poll: Would you like this Bridesmaid gift?

DMLJ · April 2010

So, I am paying for my girls to get their hair/make-up done for the wedding and I also bought them some small juicy couture gold hoop earring (not for the wedding...) They were pretty cheap so I'm thinking maybe I should get them something else. Another knottie posted this and I keep thinking about it again.... so tell me, should I go for it or would you think it is an excessive amount to spend.. i know it depends on my budget but wwyd? Oh, and I have 3 bridesmaids and the letters would be A, C, and V. Here is the link..... www.tiffany.com/Shopping/item.aspx?search_params=s+1-p+3-c+-r+-x+-n+6-ri+-ni+0-t+letter&fromgrid=1&cid=&sku=GRP00330&search=1&selectedsku=10634067&mcat">

http://www.tiffany.com/Shopping/item.aspx?search_params=s+1-p+3-c+-r+-x+-n+6-ri+-ni+0-t+letter&fromgrid=1&cid=&sku=GRP00330&search=1&selectedsku=10634067&mcat=

DMLJ · April 2010

IDK why it got cut off or why the link was posted twice! Hopefully you can still see it/vote

uppereastgirl · April 2010

I actually have that

I wish they had made the V (which is the one I have) less curvy because it looks like a U. That's my only complaint. I don't wear it much anymore though because I got it like 5 years ago and so it looks a little dated to me. But that may be just because it isn't new to me.

I personally don't think it is excessively expensive. It is Tiffany's so yes it is expensive for silver but it will also hold its value.

If you want another option, I got the Helen Ficalora V charm and chain for Christmas and really like it. The silver ones are really not that expensive. You could get your girls more than one letter if you wanted for less than the Tiffany's one (my sister wears her own initial as well as the initials of her husband and her two kids, and Liz Lemon on 30 Rock wears two Ls. I'm probably going to ask for the charm for my last initial for my birthday...).

http://www.shopbop.com/actions/viewSearchResultsAction.action?query=ficalora&searchButton.x=0&searchButton.y=0

tinydancer842 · April 2010

Why do you have to buy everyone the same thing? Figure out a budget for each girl and buy them something you know they'd love. No girl is created equal. For my BMs I am going to get them each a gift card to their fave store & some other things (not sure what yet!) If you want to go the jewelry route pick out something to match their styles (that is if they normally wear jewelry).

DMLJ · April 2010

i do think they would all like this--- two of mine like more "unique" type stuff and I think the shape is def. them..... the other is iinto brand names so she would love tiffany's

peaches85 · April 2010

I have one (got it as a birthday gift like 10 years ago). It's nice, but I would spend the money (or even less) on something else that's more catered to the girls' individual interests.

But then again, you know your girls better than we do, so if you think they'd really like them and you have the money to spend in your budget, then go for it! :-)

DandT1206 · April 2010

if it's in your budget, then go for it. it definitely wasn't in mine (I had 7 girls)

diamondx423 · April 2010

i also have it and recieved it in high school. i wore it for a little while, but never do anymore, maybe your BMs already have it since its been out for so long?

Reilly626 · April 2010

Doesnt look worth the money, or really look like letters, what about one of those Italian bead charm bracelets (cant think of name) jewlery stores sell..

mbcdefg · April 2010

I actually have the knockoff version:

http://www.evesaddiction.com/detail_NL10068__441__Tiffany_Inspired_Sterling_Silver_Initial_Necklace.html

ffbride_0813 · April 2010

My friend got me the butterfly charm necklace for her wedding. I really like it and thought it was a great gift. If you think your girls would like that then get it for them. I personally dont know if I would wear my initials and would prefer a different charm instead.

leah2b · April 2010

I like Tiffany jewelry but, being a little older, I probably wouldn't wear my initial and would perfer a differnt type of charm. But you know your girls better, so go with your gut.

TuffysMommie · April 2010

I totally think you should do it. I feel that at the end of planning and supporting the bride, the bridesmaids totally do deserve something a bit more "high end" and this is really sweet of you. For my sister's wedding, all the girls received a Tiffany heart lariat necklace and we were all thrilled.

As a bridesmaid, you field a lot of phone calls, write a lot of emails, plan a lot, try to get everyone to agree, etc. Sure, it's for a friend and "it's the thought that counts" - but you can bet there are some gifts that just make you feel "that much more" appreciated than others.

And let's be honest, it is also expensive. I'm sure you have been in weddings/seen gifts that people buy their girls and are just like, "seriously?" But maybe I'm bitchy. And of course being a BM means you are a close friend and would do a lot for your friend the bride, but you can spend over $1000 easily on all the gifts/events/etc related to being in a wedding. You obviously don't need to be "reimbursed" but this type of gift is a good "thank you" for being there.

So I say go for it. I would totally do the same thing and buy some nice jewelry from Tiffany's for my girls. It's what my family does, and I want my friends to know that I really do appreciate their help and input.

And, my name begins with an A so I do have that necklace and I adore it. My SO then bought one for his mother and sister with their initials as well, and my sister also has one. I also bought the same one for a friend's college graduation and my sister gave one to her doula when she gave birth to her son. So in my family, it's an appropriate gift, fwiw.

I'll stop talking now - people may not agree with me at all and I'm probably repeating the same thing. So in short, do it!

Lola Minnie · April 2010

It's hard for me to put myself in your shoes since I have 7 girls plus a flower girl. I guess if I had that budget to add, I probably wouldn't go with that necklace. Nothing against it, just probably not that specific one.

uppereastgirl · April 2010

I agree with you Tuffysmommie. I saw someone write in the What Are You Skimping On to Save Money (or whatever the title was) thread the other day that bridesmaid gifts were a place she was looking to save. I understand that everyone has different budgets so what one should/will spend will vary, but it seemed kind of rude to pick that as a place to specifically skimp so you and your husband can have something else you want at your wedding. Being a bridesmaid is a PITA. And an expensive one at that.

jtheiss · April 2010

I think that is WAY too expensive for sterling silver. You're paying for the Tiffany brand. If you have that kind of money to spend on your BMs, you could get more gifts or a better quality gift elsewhere. Look on http://www.bluenile.com. I think you could get something just as cute and very nice in 18k gold or pearl. I would prefer a higher quality piece of jewelry (not that Tiffany isn't high quality, but sterling silver just isn't as nice as white gold, IMHO) than a name brand.

akmackay · April 2010

I was going to buy my BMs this necklace or another one (I think there are different ones, one named wave etc that would fit each of their personalities). there are also the zodiac sign ones that you wouldn't know what it is, but they are very cute pendants. Unfortunately, it just wasn't in the budget in the end, but I like it!

TuffysMommie · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_poll-would-like-this-bridesmaid-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:5196c678-5f8f-48a1-b14c-add67e6ea615Post:6a513880-11bb-404e-a2f5-0610090bf7ea">Re: Poll: Would you like this Bridesmaid gift?</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with you Tuffysmommie. I saw someone write in the What Are You Skimping On to Save Money (or whatever the title was) thread the other day that bridesmaid gifts were a place she was looking to save. I understand that everyone has different budgets so what one should/will spend will vary, but it seemed kind of rude to pick that as a place to specifically skimp so you and your husband can have something else you want at your wedding. Being a bridesmaid is a PITA. And an expensive one at that.
Posted by uppereastgirl[/QUOTE]

<div>I saw that too! It is a PITA - as much as anyone loves their friends, it is still a PITA. And I'm sure we all (or at least I have) spent as much as this type of necklace on a shower gift alone. The fact that it is a high price for sterling silver, imo, makes it nice cause it is something they might not buy themselves, but know that the bride was buying them a "nice item" rather than finding "a decent item at a good price." And Tiffany's never goes on sale - so your recipient knows that you wanted to give them quality over 'getting a good deal." (Ex: How much are coach wristlets going for at outlets now? $30? If I received a Coach wristlet, I'd know it was purchased cause you thought it was "a designer item" in which you "got a good deal")</div><div>
</div><div>I also feel that a wedding/shower/all related events are NOT fundraisers. It's a give-and-get balance. If you are getting expensive shower gifts, you are either going to give them the same level back for their own event or at some other point in time. Yes, the event is "all about the bride" but there does have to be some balance of appreciation for everything that is being done for that bride. 10 bridesmaids? You get more shower gifts (especially if they buy a high end group gift) To me, that is no reason not to still buy all the girls a "higher end" thank you gift. In most cases they bought a BM dress they will never wear again and paid for alterations, paid for and shopped for a shower gift, attended some type of bachelorette party where they probably paid for part of the bride's food/drinks, and gave a wedding gift. (Not even counting hair, shoes, nails, makeup - that's the BM's or bride's choice) Maybe I'm wrong, but that time, effort and money is equivalent to a $185 necklace.</div><div>
</div><div>My two cents...</div>

jtheiss · April 2010

I agree with Tuffy's mom that the BM gifts should be a nice thank you for all of the effort and I'm not saying that $185 is too much to spend on each of them, just that I think you could get something nicer/more valuable for that kind of money than sterling silver. The sterling silver knock-offs on Eve's Addiction are only $28. I don't think the Tiffany brand is worth that much more. So I say spend the money, but get a nicer piece of jewelry that isn't brand name.

Lola Minnie · April 2010

Tuffy & uppereast, out of sheer curiousity, I went back to look at that statement and the girl did not say she was skimping but budgeting. I think it is increasingly rude to pick apart someone if their budget is not to your liking. She and anyone should feel able to say what they want without it being put down.

Know how many people are in our bridal party? 17. If I include readers for their gifts, then 20. If you want to spend $200 per person, that's your cup of tea. But unlike you, my parents didn't foot the bill so we spent what we wanted to spend and could spend which is very generous.

uppereastgirl · April 2010

In Response to <a style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-weight:normal;font-style:inherit;font-size:11px;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;text-decoration:underline;color:#4c402a;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_poll-would-like-this-bridesmaid-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:5196c678-5f8f-48a1-b14c-add67e6ea615Post:fbc0a81e-2812-49e1-9a71-688aba66dd69">Re: Poll: Would you like this Bridesmaid gift?</a>:
[QUOTE]Tuffy & uppereast, out of sheer curiousity, I went back to look at that statement and the girl did not say she was skimping but budgeting. I think it is increasingly rude to pick apart someone if their budget is not to your liking. She and anyone should feel able to say what they want without it being put down. Know how many people are in our bridal party? 17. If I include readers for their gifts, then 20. If you want to spend $200 per person, that's your cup of tea. But unlike you, my parents didn't foot the bill so we spent what we wanted to spend and could spend which is very generous.
Posted by Lola Minnie[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>
<div style="border-style:initial;border-color:initial;outline-width:0px;outline-style:initial;outline-color:initial;font-weight:inherit;font-style:inherit;font-size:11px;font-family:inherit;vertical-align:baseline;border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;">"She and anyone should feel able to say what they want without it being put down." Didn't you just put me down? Am I not an "anyone" too? And didn't you pick me apart because my budget is not to your liking? </div><div>
</div><div>Did I not acknowledge that people have different budgets and what people can/should spend will vary? All I meant is that it is kind of rude to skimp on bridesmaids gifts so you can spring on plasma screens so you can see pictures of your ceremony all night. You know what I mean?</div><div>
</div><div>And whether you're the only bridesmaid or one of 15 bridesmaids, you still have to pay for a dress you'll wear once, etc. So I think brides should at least take into account when they're picking their bridal parties that they'll be giving gifts to all these girls (and that while some of the other costs will go down for the girls being part of a big group, being a maid of honor planning a shower and bachelorette party with 14 bridesmaids can be much harder than planning with 4 other girls).</div><div>
</div><div> I don't mean that everyone has to clean out Tiffany's to show their love for their 15 closest friends -- all I said is that it is rude to lower the amount you spend on them so you can splurge on other things. The post the other day wasn't the first time someone has said something like that.</div><div>
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Lola Minnie · April 2010

I didn't put you down - I just think your earlier statement was rude and chose to address it.

I'm just saying it rubbed me the wrong way.

kewltif · April 2010

Between hair, makeup, gold hoops and these necklaces you're looking at about $350 per girl, if you can afford it, that's great, but I personally didn't spend anywhere near that.

I don't think your BM gifts need to be tit for tat. All my girls will assumingly be married one day, and when their time comes I will shell out the money and do all of the planning as a bridesmaid.

If someone wanted to buy me a gift that expensive, I would honestly prefer that they just purchased my dress instead. That would actually be a help to me.

uppereastgirl · April 2010

BTW, I saw a girl in the PATH this morning wearing a large b and I thought of this thread and got jealous. The b is so much cuter than the v.

DMLJ · April 2010

O boy- now I am more confused! Haha--- I think i need to keep looking. Personally (and I know not everyone is like this) I like name brands because it is def. a status thing (which is why I don't by knock-offs). I'm very selective with the name brand things I get (cause I so don't have that kind of money) but,like someone on here said, I want to give them something that they know I didn't skimp on.

I feel like the hair/makeup/nails isn't necessarily a gift as it is something that I want the girls to have for the wedding.... Oh, and I also put 30$ towards each of their dresses cause I chose to change the fabric and that was the upcharge.

In the grand scheme of this wedding, spending about 350 per BM isn't so big of a deal (let's face it, between dresses, hotel rooms, shower, bach party, and getting a gift they probably all already spent this much each).

cvl105 · May 2010

Tiffany's stuff is so overpriced to me. IMO, if you really want them to have it, take it to a local jeweler. They will be able to replicate them for cheaper, it's only sterling silver!

I very much dislike most Tiffany's items. In fact, MH bought me a necklace from there for xmas a few years ago and I had him return it. I just think the price they charge for their SILVER is ridiculous. I also think of high school and freshman college girls when I think of Tiffany's.

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