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African American Weddings

What should I do.......

about FI parents? For some reason they seem to forget that this wedding isn't about them. We are having our ceremony and reception at the same location but in separate rooms. As a result, we are limited to 200 people in the ceremony space however the reception room can hold up to 500 people (not that we would EVER get close to that number). We have given them the amount of guests that they are allowed to invite and today, FI's father asks him why we didn't chose a location that would accomodate more people. Then, his mother tells him that HIS friends who are not married or in a relationship should not be allowed to bring a guest because they need to invite more of THEIR friends. FI is so frustrated with his parents and I don't blame him. I don't want him to lose it on them but maybe that's the only way they will understand.............?
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Re: What should I do.......

  • I have found that the only way to deal with these types of situations is to stick to your guns and keep reinforcing whatever it is you want. Try not to waiver cause that's when they keep thinking that there is a chance that you will change your mind. No need to loose your cool, just simply state the facts and keep it moving. Whenever they bring up the topic, just change topics by saying, we discussed that already and the number we gave you is final. Sometimes I wonder if our parents let their parents control their wedding..smh. 
    Anniversary
  • All you can say is that the venue is booked so discussion about a different place that holds more people is a non factor.

    Also, are you and FI paying 100% for this wedding?
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
  • edited June 2012
    FI's father asks him why we didn't chose a location that would accomodate more people

    ...is exactly what my parents would've said to me given the opportunity.  If either of you think FI will lose his patience dealing with them, maybe you could talk to them?  polite but firm:  the venue we chose was the one we both decided on, it's finalized.  As for the guestlist, we are at capacity so it would help us out tremendously (clasp your hands together in a pleading motion right here) if you could keep that in mind as you make your selections.  

    I don't know what his parents are like but if they're anything like mine (it's part cultural, part just who they are) they'll be way more likely climb down off the ledge if ya'll make it sound like they're being catered to.  Now it's a shame that we need to go through a psych text book to have a damn conversation but there it is.   smh @ all this carryin on.  between you, Tracey and Mery, we gone have to start callin em outlaws.
  • edited June 2012
    FI and I are paying with help from my Mom
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