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Paying your Officiant

yogachick28yogachick28
First Comment
in Maryland-Baltimore
We are getting married at a Catholic Church, we met with the priest last week for our final meeting and he never once said anything about the church charging us to get married there. What is the ettiquite on "tipping" the priest then?
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Re: Paying your Officiant

  • smange10.10smange10.10
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    With my experience, offiants that are assiociated with a church don't typically charge but will *gladly* accept a donation to their congregation.  That's what we did.  Our priest never mentioned a fee or anything like that, so after the wedding, my IL's sent the chuch a nice donation as a 'thank you for everything'. 
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  • hljaneshljanes member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The Catholic Churches that I've looked at, in Baltimore City - and granted, we haven't spoken to any of them yet, and are not active parishoners - charge $800 or more as fees.

    But I have heard from others that, often, churches only ask a donation and often don't specify the amount.  I think my neighbor said they donated $200 to the Methodist Church they were married at.
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  • MereFM99MereFM99 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We got married at a Catholic church in Baltimore City and were requested to give a $500 donation.
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  • SweetCFlySweetCFly
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is actually interesting to me, because come to think of it, my Deacon hasn't breathed a word about a fee... we're not getting married in a "church", we're getting married in my college's chapel, and the donation (aka fee) is $650.  But my Deacon is asociated with another parish.  I'm wondering if I should offer him a tip?

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  • LauraT25LauraT25
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_maryland-baltimore_paying-officiant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:85Discussion:f2dafd9f-be22-457a-9223-17546dfea372Post:790520d2-1d11-4839-ab9e-7d084ddb2070">Re: Paying your Officiant</a>:
    [QUOTE]This is actually interesting to me, because come to think of it, my Deacon hasn't breathed a word about a fee... we're not getting married in a "church", we're getting married in my college's chapel, and the donation (aka fee) is $650.  But my Deacon is asociated with another parish.  I'm wondering if I should offer him a tip?
    Posted by SweetCFly[/QUOTE]

    From what I've heard, ministers can't accept tips - this may not be true for every religious denomination though.  I think some people have gotten around it by giving gift cards to more practical places (i.e. Dunkin Donuts rather than J. Crew) so that the minister can spend it without being frivolous or breaking any vows of poverty (the second may only apply in the Catholic Church).
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  • SweetCFlySweetCFly
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think I meant 'tip' as much as I meant 'donation' to him/his parish since technically we are using his parish services by choosing him as our deacon.  I don't believe deacons take vows of poverty, only priests and sisters.  I don't think my deacon would ever ask us for money, being as he's a friend of the family.  But it would be a nice gesture to his parish, St. John Hydes... just thoughts that hadn't crossed my mind.  I do know that Catholic churches do require donations, and though we're not getting married at St. John, we are getting married in the Catholic Church, so I need to check on whether or not our chapel donation to Notre Dame counts... or if I need to give one to St. John as well since that's Deacon Fred's home turf.  I would hate to not credit someone for their services where credit was due.

    Thanks for pointing that out to me though!!
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  • LauraT25LauraT25
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Oh ok, ok - from what I've seen (limited experience), the 'fee' is really a donation, so I thought you already had that covered and were talking about something personally for him.  But after re-reading the post, you mean to his church, since it's different from the one you're getting married in.

    I think in that case, a donation would be appropriate and appreciated!
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  • alexandramezzoalexandramezzo member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The church I'm getting married at has a separate fee for the church and then a separate fee for the officiant.  It was all spelled out in the contract. 

    I agree with the PPs, most likely a donation will be asked for.  Good luck and HTH!
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