incorporating deceased parent

daisyamers · October 2012

any suggestions on how to incorporate my mom, who passed away 2 years ago? i have seen weddings where there are photos of lost loved ones and where the couple acknowledges lost loved ones in the ceremony program. i have also seen a large memoradum floral arrangement. any other suggestions? thanks.

ElleB87 · October 2012

You could get a locket for your bouquet and put pics of your mom or you and your mom in it

daisyamers · October 2012

i love that locket idea! thanks!

what my father thinks is not relevant as they were divorced when i was very young. besides, i do not like the picture framed idea which is why i am asking for more suggestions.

itzMS · October 2012

Do you have anything of your moms? A necklace, hankie, article of clothing, or something special that she gifted you that you could wear or repurpose?

My dad bought my 8th grade graduation dress for me shortly before he passed. It meant a lot to me so I saved the dress over the years. I had some fabric from the dress wrapped around the stems of my bouquet. It was my own personal and subtle memorial/tribute.

OliveOilsMom · October 2012

We did not use many outward memorials to FIL. We did have a church ceremony and had him mentioned by name during the prayers of the faithful. We also had a small bouquet of flowers that represented our grandparents and FIL, but we didn't put a sign in front of them. And lastly, we put a note in the program, it was something along the lines of: We would like to acknowledge all of our loved ones who cannot be with us here in person, but instead are here with us in spirit, including and then listed FIL and all grandparents' names.

kelnash89 · October 2012

I am using one of my dad's blue ties around my bouquet. One of my girlsfriends just got married and sewed a blue heart from her dad's basketball jersey on the inside of her dress.

You could also include one of your mom's favorite flowers in your bouquet. My dad was a fraternity man and I was in a sorority so that was something special we shared. I will have an iris in my bouquet to represent his fraternity.

But I echo PP, check with your dad and grandparents. I would ask them if they have any ideas or suggestions. If you present an idea straight out, they may struggle saying no if it seems like you already made up your mind.

Jen4948 · October 2012

I like the idea of putting a tribute in a ceremony program and/or carrying something that belonged to your loved one or reminds you of him/her.

That said, I also would check with your father and grandparents. As sweet as a tribute of some sort would be, you don't want your wedding to resemble a memorial service either. An "empty chair" or "empty place setting" might be too pointed/macabre a reminder of your mother's absence.

Ali092011 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_incorporating-deceased-parent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:5c71150d-4033-48fb-be27-9433717db325Post:affce218-e7f3-4bbc-9d58-6f97ee2990d1">Re: incorporating deceased parent</a>:
[QUOTE]Do you have anything of your moms? A necklace, hankie, article of clothing, or something special that she gifted you that you could wear or repurpose? <strong>My dad bought my 8th grade graduation dress for me shortly before he passed. It meant a lot to me so I saved the dress over the years. I had some fabric from the dress wrapped around the stems of my bouquet. It was my own personal and subtle memorial/tribute.</strong>
Posted by itzMS[/QUOTE]

That is so incredibly beautiful. :)

We had a candle at our sweetheart table that for us represented my stepmother, but we didn't tell anyone that's what it was for. It was a very personal thing for us and I didn't want to upset my dad or stepbrother by saying anything about it.

hshertenlieb · October 2012

My father passed two years ago also.... we will have a memorial candle http://www.thingsremembered.com/product/Wedding/Unity-Sets/Eufaula-Lace-Memorial-Candle/pc/2114/c/0/sc/3338/163466.uts next to the guestbook....with peace lilies that I brought home from his funeral. My mother thinks it's a great idea and my brother (who is giving me away) does too. As far as my stepmother, not real sure...but after her being my stepmother for 20 years, she has pretty much dropped out of our lives. So, I am not super concerned how she feels. Sounds crappy, I know.....but she seems to have zero interest in mine or my son's (her grandson) life in the last eight months....so, whatever.

shanliann · October 2012

I lost my mom 5 years ago, I am an only child, and my mom was my best friend.
I haven't spoken to my dad in 2+ years. He was not invited to my wedding 3 weeks ago.

I wore "my moms" perfume

We also did a very small round, memorial table. We got a tall cylinder candle holder that was personalzed to say in loving memory of ...... mother of the bride.
we also put a pink candle in this since she passed away from breast cancer.
.
also on this table were 3 pictures, one of me and mom in the hospital when i was born, the last god picture of me and my mom taken before her passing, and one of my mom in her wedding dress.

i suggest you follow your heart. there are not many people closer to your mom then you and you should remember her how you feel comfortable. best wishes!

daisyamers · October 2012

that you for these wonderful ideas!

i LOVE the idea of wearing her perfume on the day of the wedding and incorporating a piece of fabric from an article of clothing she bought me to tie around my bouquet. that makes it more personal and my own personal tribute to her.

my fiance wants to do an empty chair in the corner but that's because he's a marine and all of their functions there is an empty chair to honor their fallen.

Courtre · October 2012

I think that ReTreadBride has a very good point. I asked my SIL for suggestions on how to include my deceased FIL in the wedding. I ran the idea passed my MIL, and she said it would be a reminder that she is alone. I hinted to my FI and he said it would be hard enough thinking about how he wished that his dad could be there. I really thought about it, and if my parents were not at my wedding, I think I may have a breakdown through the day. NOW, how do I take it back without my SIL being upset?

incorporating deceased parent

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