Tonight's the night!

kimmykupcakes · March 2011

FI's going over to talk to his parents tonight about what happened on Thursday. I'm a bit anxious about what's going to happen. Fingers crossed it goes well!

breaness · March 2011

Best of luck! I hope it goes better this time.

cryssv · March 2011

oh no. What did I miss - what happened Thursday??

kimmykupcakes · March 2011

Hmm.. maybe I didn't post it on this board. I'll BRB with what happened.

kimmykupcakes · March 2011

This is what happened last Thursday:

"Last night we had dinner with FI's parents for our birthdays. This is the first time we've seen them since FI called them and told them we were getting married. He has talked to his mom many times since then and she hasn't once said anything to him about the wedding. Which is really weird for his mom since she never stops talking and always asks hundreds of questions. If FI got new socks she would want to know where they were from, who made them, how much did they cost and what color they were. So her not talking ab out anything at all if really really freaken weird!

So we get to dinner last night expecting to hear congratulations and asking to see the ring right off. Nothing. Half an hour passes, still nothing. 2 hours later and still nothing. We sat through a whole dinner with them and they didn't say one word about the wedding, engagement or ring.

We have now heard from all of my family about it. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. All have said congratulations, how happy they are for us, how great it will be to have FI be a part of the family and have asked what they can do to help. What you would expect from those in your life when you announce that you are getting married.

FI is crushed. He couldn't believe what they did. He even said maybe we don't invite them to the wedding. I'm kind of feeling the same way since we want those there with us that want to celebrate with us and aren't going to pretend it's not happening. But, I also know if we don't invite them they will blame it all on us and I will have to deal with the mess it will create for the rest of our lives.

This sucks!"

cryssv · March 2011

I completely feel for you and FI on that one. I actually just posted a big long post about FI's parents pretty much doing the exact same thing to us. It's been so hard on FI to not have his parents be a part of it and equally tough on me because I thought it would be a bonding moment for me and FI's Mom. It's really not like it's unexpected that we'd get married eventually - we've been together for 10 years!!!

My heart goes out to you guy's on this one - I can suck it up but I really try to be there for FI on this one, I can see so much hurt in him over this.

AKWinterBride · March 2011

OMG, how awful. Are he and his Mom really close? I know that some Moms get sad that they are 'losing' their son, no matter how old they are. Have you had problems with his parents in the past, or is this an isolated incident?

Either way, it sucks. Try to ignore them and focus on the people who are excited for you! I'll be interested to see what comes of his talk!

kaesha · March 2011

Yikes. That's super sucky. I hope it'll go better tonight! Why do you think they had the reaction they had?

kimmykupcakes · March 2011

Thanks. Him and his mom use to be really close until I came into the picture. I know she blames that on me. It's not anything I did, I just happened to come into the picture at the same time he was finally pulling away from her. He also didn't like some of the things his mom would do to me and was tired of having her in everything. Now he doesn't want to spend time with her at all because of how she acts towards him. Yeah, she sees me as taking her son away from her.

Things have always been weird with his dad. In fact, FI has always had issues with him. His dad has said he doesn't like me because he thinks I'm too loud. I tried to tone it done and then he said he didn't like me because I wasn't social enough. I just can't make him happy.

Regardless, for them not to even say congratulations or anything at all about us getting married was really upsetting. Cryss, I'm sorry you have had to go through some of this, too.

kimmykupcakes · March 2011

Honestly, we thought that FI's mom would jump so full force into it that she wouldn't leave us alone. FI's dad we were expecting for him to yell because that's what he does if he doesn't like something. But no reaction at all from either of them wee just don't get. Not like them at all.

motoLyn · March 2011

Kimmy I'm sorry to hear about the reaction that his parents had to your engagement well lack of at least. I do hope that tonight goes much better. Good luck! I know that you should have people at your wedding that support you, but I think you guys should invite his parents, at least then you put the ball in their court about whether they want to go or not. It probably cause more a rift if you exclude them.

kimmykupcakes · March 2011

Yeah, I certainly think FI's parents would HATE me if we didn't invite them. Even though he's the one saying maybe we don't invite them, I know that's not how they would see it. He's going to ask them tonight if they even want to come to the wedding. I am hoping that him saying that to them will have them say they do.

AKWinterBride · March 2011

Yeah, there is no way you can come out on top if you don't invite them. If they want to be a stick in the mud and be grumpy and lame, let them. Focus on the people who are happy for you and let their love and excitement soak in. His parents will regret being jerks in the long run....

kaesha · March 2011

I agree. I'm always for giving the opposition as little ammo as possible.

sparklegirl84 · March 2011

Wow, that really does suck. So sorry to hear they're not supportive, it sounds like momma needs to cut the cord and realize her baby boy is a grown man who is allowed to go off and get married! I don't understand why people just can't be happy that two people are in love and want to get married and that it's Not about them! I hope they can remain civil and friendly towards you if they do show up in Hawaii, and yes they should be invited but maybe it'd be more fun if they decided to stay home with their bad attitudes.

Tonight's the night!

Re: Tonight's the night!

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