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Guest List FREAK OUT!!

Enchanted616Enchanted616 member
500 Comments
in Minnesota-Minneapolis and St. Paul
Okay, so.. as many of you may know, we have a rather large guest list.  I was estimating 450-500 people.  I just ordered STDs, so we actually had to get the guest list/addresses together.  We've had the list for awhile, but they have been in a bunch of different spreadsheets/emails whatever for different groups of people..

I just compiled the lists into one big spreadsheet.  Final number:  642.

Yes, that would be SIX HUNDRED AND FORTY TWO PEOPLE. 

I'm a little freaked out.  We both have huge families, and lots of friends.. but WHOA.  My mother (who is paying), on the other hand, is completely unphased.. she's actually even more pumped!  And keeps adding people.  Granted, we have a ton of OOT guests so I know our regret rate will be higher than most.

I went through the list like a million times.  And I couldn't even really find anyone to "cut."  How do we know this many people?  My god.  This is gonna be one crazy day.

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Finished BC and not preventing since June 2010.
Actively trying for baby #1 since July 2011.
SA completed 5/29/2012. No sperm found.
11/12: Dx: Congenital Bilateral Absense of the Vas Deferens.
Genetic Testing needed as this is a mutation of Cystic Fibrosis.
IVF #1 with ICSI planned for 2013.
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Re: Guest List FREAK OUT!!

  • aligrossaligross member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    HOLY WOW!!!! I thought having 300 on our list was HUGE!
    I'm glad your mother is unphased, but as a bride I would feel overwhelmed because of everything I have to do for them!

    Good Luck - Don't freak out too bad, just find some awesome coupons online!
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  • amyoqwanesamyoqwanes
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Woah you're going to host a small city of people! Have you done the probability analysis yet? Download your list to Excel, then add a column where you assign them a value from 0 (definitely not coming) to 1 (definitely coming). Add all the values, and you'll get a real sense of how many people will attend. I've heard from several couples who've done this that their numbers were 95% accurate.
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  • Steph0871Steph0871
    5000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    So.... what you're saying is we could all come crash and you'd never notice? Sounds good! ;)

    Have you actually totaled costs pp to figure out how much it will cost? Like food+alcohol+tax+tip plus the cost of centerpieces with that many tables?  Just make sure your mom knows exactly what the price tag will be.  If she still doesn't care, keep adding people!  I only say this, because my dad paid for the reception, and he was totally cool with our 250+ guest list, until he realized exactly how much it would be.  Thankfully, we ended up with 148 guests (exactly where I wanted it to be in the first place!)  I think our Sunday afternoon wedding helped.

    I think PP's idea of figuring out exactly how likely everyone is to come is a good idea, but be at least slightly prepared to pay for all 642.

    Let me know if you need help addressing envelopes ;)

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  • SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Wow....if your mom's willing to pay for them, then heck- party away :-P

    I'd be willing to help address envelopes too, sounds like you'll need all the help you can get :-)
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  • jenn920jenn920
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Holy crap!!!!  That is impressive.  I no longer will be intimidated by my own guest list of 220ish.... you have put it into perspective for me! 

    You are going to have one huge, awesome party though ;)

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  • tpender13tpender13 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ho. Ly. COW! That's nuts!

    I'm totally up for helping you out too. I think I'm going through wedding w/drawls!

    Seriously, let's plan a "Help Enchanted!" GTG...
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  • shan87shan87
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    My 326 invited guests looks whimpy now. But I still am freaking out! :)

    Good Luck! :)
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  • drdifabiodrdifabio member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    One of my best friends got married two weeks after me and had a 450 guest attendance which I thought was big! I cant imagine adding more than 100 people to that!

    Regardless of if your mom is paying or not - is that the type of wedding YOU want? If it is - that is awesome! It sounds like your mom is willing to foot the bill so you can then have all those people you want there and throw a huge party. If not, dont feel like you cant stand up to your mom. Keep in mind that you will be pulled in tons of directions that day by your guests....everyone is going to want to talk to you and if you are anything like me, you are going to want to talk to them too cuz they came all that way to see you. Just something to keep in mind when thinking about having to talk to over 600 people! But like I said, if that is something you are excited about go for it!

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  • musicalsunlightmusicalsunlight member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Wow that is a ton of people! I'm overwhelmed thinking about the 150 people I'm inviting, lol. But I was gonna say something similar to drdifabio, that something to consider is if you will be ok with not really being able to talk to everyone there, since with that many people it would seem relatively difficult! But hey a big party is always a fun time. :)
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  • I Want CakeI Want Cake
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Can you even imagine the receiving line?  Holy crap!  The town I grew up in was smaller than that!  Do you actually know all these people?  Can you have your wedding in shifts?  Sorry, last weeks episode of Running Wilde had a 3-day Ren-Fest carnival style wedding in it.

    My wedding is going to be 140 people, tops, and that's overwhelming enough.  Outside of our families and some close friends, we really just don't know that many people - and we're old!

    Count me in for a "Help Enchanted" GTG! 
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  • SuperRNluvsChefSuperRNluvsChef
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would also love to help addressing if you need it Breanna! Count me in on the Help Enchanted GTG
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  • debbieupperdebbieupper member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Wow - the only wedding I've ever attended with that many guests was in India where 500+ people is really normal. 

    Danielle's point about knowing that with the more guests you have, the more directions you will be pulled is a really good one. We had about 200 guests attend (invited 340) and it was truly head-spinning to have so many people "calling out" to you, even just to say hello. Because you can't just say hi. Once you say "hi" there's at least a minute-long conversation that follows. Multiply that by a couple hundred (let alone several hundred) and before you know it you've missed your own reception dance!

    Good luck, though - It will surely be an awesome party!
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  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Would you be comfortable sharing your budget for a wedding that big?
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  • Enchanted616Enchanted616 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks girls!  I am super worried about being pulled in too many directions, but all in all I think it will be fun!  I am going to really have to pull back on the DIY unless I get some help! 

    **full disclosure:  i feel slightly uncomfortable talking about budget stuff.  Please don't flame me.  My parents are hosting our wedding, and I am super, super, beyond thankful.**

    gray:  We don't really have a budget, but here's a breakdown of our costs so far:

    $66/person for butler served apps, four course dinner, fully stocked open bar (from 4pm to midnight), and late night snack of gormet pizza.  So if we have around 450 (which is more my guess) = $26,000.  Of course there is tax of 18% and tip which will bring the total catering bill to somewhere around $30,000. Oh, and there's no rental fee for the ballroom.

    Photog: $1077
    Ceiling Draping and Rental Chandelier and white dance floor: $2000
    Chair Covers: $1200 (I'm still debating this cost.  It just seems like a lot)
    Flowers (like personal flowers for 20 people and 60 centerpieces):  $5500
    Videographer: $1000
    Dress: $1200
    DJ: $550
    Church Rental: $300
    Favors: $500
    Photobooth: $895
    Flipbook Station: $975
    Kid's Room (supplies and hired sitters): $650
    Paper: $500

    Oh, and our wedding planners will be 8% of the total cost.  I'm sure I'm forgetting stuff, like gifts and other odds and ends.. rehersal dinner and honeymoon and whatnot. 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Finished BC and not preventing since June 2010.
    Actively trying for baby #1 since July 2011.
    SA completed 5/29/2012. No sperm found.
    11/12: Dx: Congenital Bilateral Absense of the Vas Deferens.
    Genetic Testing needed as this is a mutation of Cystic Fibrosis.
    IVF #1 with ICSI planned for 2013.
    PAIF/SAIF welcome!
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  • Enchanted616Enchanted616 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    haha and Steph my mom was like "don't you want to invite some of those girls from your wedding website?"

    I would love to have some of you there!  Around the time invites are ready to go our we'll see who is up for it!   It would be nice to have people there who appreciate all the work that went into it. :)

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Finished BC and not preventing since June 2010.
    Actively trying for baby #1 since July 2011.
    SA completed 5/29/2012. No sperm found.
    11/12: Dx: Congenital Bilateral Absense of the Vas Deferens.
    Genetic Testing needed as this is a mutation of Cystic Fibrosis.
    IVF #1 with ICSI planned for 2013.
    PAIF/SAIF welcome!
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  • Steph0871Steph0871
    5000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    hahaha.  awesome.  One of the girls I'm friends with from SB (Snarky Brides) is from Fargo and her wedding is this weekend at like 400+, so I was telling her about yours the other day.  You should swap notes with her.

    By the way, I'm incredibly impressed with your budget for that many people!
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  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Don't worry, I wont flame ya! If your family has been blessed financially and can afford to do this for you, then that is great! 
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  • Cascasbaby53Cascasbaby53 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Holy crow! That is crazy!

    I would love to have a large guest list, but as our budget is not very large, I found it very easy to find people to cut! Haha.
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  • kaylas16kaylas16
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_guest-list-freak-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:c4394045-a6c1-49df-bc36-1612f8d0dc6bPost:794e5db3-ec13-4cb7-b5cf-60a0c605846b">Re: Guest List FREAK OUT!!</a>:
    [QUOTE] **full disclosure:  i feel slightly uncomfortable talking about budget stuff.  Please don't flame me.  My parents are hosting our wedding, and I am super, super, beyond thankful.** Posted by Enchanted616[/QUOTE]

    <strong><font color="#800080">Brave of you to share!! And do not feel guilty!! If that's what your family is able to provide no one should give you a hard time about it .  No one should be embarrassed about how much they spend on their wedding if it's what they can afford no matter how big or small :) It's your life not ours! And as Steph said, that is actually a pretty impressive number considering the amount of mouths you'll have to feed!!
    </font></strong>
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  • leggwilliamsleggwilliams
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I almost spit out my soda when I read that number! That is CRAZY! I've been freaking out that our guest list is at 261 because we want the actual count to be under 200. It sounds like you have anything under control, though, and ditto Steph, I'm uber impressed with your budget!
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  • nikkenjinikkenji
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I can easily see how the guest list would get that big. If that's really what you want and the budget isn't an issue, then enjoy it!. I'm brand new at all of this planning stuff but I've seen on a lot of sites for paper and favors that the costs decrease with the more and more things you buy. So maybe skipping on some of the DIY stuff will be better because your time is just as precious as your money. :D

    Maybe you can still keep doing DIY projects on things that you don't have to replicate for 600+ people. Just a thought. 
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