Gamer FI's and Bromance vents..

Jack2012 · March 2012

Well I'm going to vent so feel free to join in if you have any bromance or video game annoyances to share!!

Really I can sum my whole vent up with one name.... Star Craft. F*@$ Star Craft. I hate it with a burning passion geesh. I would seriously PAY the boys to go back to COD if it meant I got my computer back. (and I REALLY hate COD.. COD ruins sex lives amen)

I also dislike man friends who tell my fiance that just living with me equals spending quality time together.. I may have to start playing matchmaker just so the bro-lover can learn his own lesson.

I could seriously tell stories of how video games have ruined my day/night/anniversary/life allll day haha Don't worry I'm not looking for a solution I did after all agree to marry the man knowing he likes his video games but some days a girl just needs to be mad.

calindi · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_gamer-fis-and-bromance-vents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:7eb4c599-cb41-4cbd-8056-2afe18c92014Post:32ca71a0-af51-42b7-85ff-4e0463167648">Gamer FI's and Bromance vents..</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I'm going to vent so feel free to join in if you have any bromance or video game annoyances to share!! Really I can sum my whole vent up with one name.... Star Craft. F*@$ Star Craft. I hate it with a burning passion geesh. I would seriously PAY the boys to go back to COD if it meant I got my computer back. (and I REALLY hate COD.. COD ruins sex lives amen) I also dislike man friends who tell my fiance that just living with me equals spending quality time together.. I may have to start playing matchmaker just so the bro-lover can learn his own lesson. I could seriously tell stories of how video games have ruined my day/night/anniversary/life allll day haha Don't worry I'm not looking for a solution I did after all agree to marry the man knowing he likes his video games but some days a girl just needs to be mad.
Posted by Jack2012[/QUOTE]

I dunno, I feel like any addiction that causes issues with a relationship need to be addressed. This goes for smoking, porn, gambling, shopping, etc. If his gaming is causing issues, it needs to be addressed. And agreeing to marry someone doesn't mean turning a blind eye to something that causes issues - it means loving that person regardless, but being willing to BOTH work on issues to make a stronger relationship in the long run.

My FI likes videogames, especially computer games. And there's times when he does not want to interact, but rather wants to 'veg out' and play games all evening. Usually after he's had a stressful day. But I get that, and if it becomes an issue (there are times it gets a bit much) then I tell him, and he makes an effort to either play me in a real life board game, go for a walk, watch a movie together, whatever. Similarly, I hang out on TK and chat with a few friends on Gmail or Facebook when I want to relax - when he wants my attention, he tells me and I try to shut it all down.

As far as the friend goes, he isn't in your relationship and what he defines as quality time doesn't matter. If your FI agrees with him, that's a big issue. This isn't about the friend, it's about your FI listening to and spending more time with a friend rather than his intended wife. I recommend pre-marital counseling, for sure.

ggirl2001 · March 2012

Uh, video games shouldn't be ruining sex or anything like that. How much does he really play? Are you exaggerating the amount? My husband plays video games, but it never interferes with our time. It never ruins things we have planned. He usually plays when I am on the computer or cleaning something random. If we are home together, eating dinner, or already watching TV, he won't play. If he wants to play, he'll ask me if i would mind if he would play for a bit, and if I'm watching something, I usually just go in the other room.

And your FI needs to speak up for you. What is he saying to his friend when he says that? Does he believe this friend?

Honestly, if my H were to ever have a time when a video game ruined a planned date, I would be livid, and I would make it clear that I would not tolerate it happening again.

Edited for spelling errors

Irishcurls · March 2012

My H's just bought Curt Schilling's new game and played it for a solid 3 hours while I watched the NCAA tourney and did a crossword. Then we cooked dinner, watched a movie and now he's doing the dishes. Quality day for everyone, I'd say. I have no problem with him playing video games but it also interferes with zero point zero of my life, so.....I WILL say, it won't change when you get married, but it sounds like you need to have a serious discussion about a lot of things. Can he play until his heart's content once a week? Free reign on Friday nights? I don't know....seems odd that he would break plans with you to play a game, but maybe I should be more grateful for my H.

LetsHikeToday · March 2012

I agree with geeg. My husband likes video games but he plays when I go to sleep. He likes COD but it never stopped us from having sex or hanging out with friends. Have you talked to him about it?

ggirl2001 · March 2012

TK ATE MY LONG TYPED OUT RESPONSE.

NOW I'M ANGRY

BUT IT BASICALLY SAID EVERYTHING CAL SAID. LIKE, EXACTLY THE SAME SENTIMENT.

AND I'M YELLING BECAUSE OF TK.

IRISH THEY ARE BLOCKING US ON PURPOSE!

ggirl2001 · March 2012

AND NOW ITS BACK.

DAMN YOU TK

LetsHikeToday · March 2012

I see both posts!

Irishcurls · March 2012

Geeg it's cause they hate our hot bodies and amazing relationship advice. It's ok yo. We'll always have each other.

Seriously, I feel a bit bad for OP. She's just trying to vent. But hoenstly, talk to him about it. He's in the wrong a bit here....

ggirl2001 · March 2012

Oh Ditto. I get her wanting to vent, but I want to know if she is exaggerating or if its really THAT bad. If it is that bad, then that is a major issue. If she's just pissy and wants to vent, and he really isn't like that, then its ok. Unfortunately, when someone says video games ruins dates, I don't know what to think

And yes, we will always have each other, and wine. We have each other and wine.

kellieinkc · March 2012

Can I have wine?

Irishcurls · March 2012

No! It's St. Patrick's Day weekend. Beer only.

Oh SNAP though, I totally poured Bailey's on my ice cream tonight. Be jealous.

Zeldakins · March 2012

Jack- I get ya. FI's in there right now with his video game bro's and I'm in the living room. It certainly does ruin the spontaneousness of things. I get what Hike, Ggirl, and Irish are saying...like if it is THAT bad. But right now Idk if its the best time to interrupt in his games, he seems pretty intensely concentrated.

*shakes fist* CURSE YOU FIRST PERSON SHOOTER GROUP MOD GAMES!!!

kara811 · March 2012

True story: One of my sister's friend divorced her exH because he was ADDICTED to World of Warcraft. He didn't do anything else but play, never even paid attention to their daughter. Another true story: Due to his obsession with video games, a sailor neglected his young daughtera toddler. She died from suffocation from a pillow, he saw the pillow on her and didn't think to do anything because he was playing.... this was in the Navy Times a few months back.

Sammy0709 · March 2012

I agree with everyone else. I won't bother writing a fancy response because TK will probably devour it. The end.

Sammy0709 · March 2012

Oh wait but, if I ever have nothing to do and DH wants to play I make him let me play too. Then he usually gets frustrated because I suck so bad and doesn't want to play anymore.

divinemsbee · March 2012

I have been there done that and have two t-shirts. MMORPGs are the devil. Well, not really, but I told myself after the last guy (FF VII) that I wasn't going to date someone who was super into them again. FI plays, sometimes, and he likes his first person shooters, but never to the point that it prevents him from doing anything else. He doesn't have to be home at certain times of night to raid or kill any specific thing. I will say that one thing that helps is that we don't have XBox Live. We may get it when he gets back to stream Netflix, but I'm still on the fence about that.

I will say that FI and I just had a (very small) tiff over me wanting to modify this random metal Red Bull promotional stand he has into an umbrella stand. Apparently it should be treated as "art." Yeah, in a frat house. But, then I remember that he's never really had a great big place of his own, and I let him win sometimes. As much as I'd like to not live like I'm in college. But not as far as putting the velour tiger throw on the wall. This isn't Old School.

BinxRose · March 2012

If you're exaggerating and just want to vent, that's cool! But if you're totally serious, you are both going to need to figure something out.

My FI usually gets home from work around 3:00, and I don't get home til 6:00 usually. So that's his time to play COD or whatever new game. If it's a weekend and we're hanging around the house, he'll ask me if it's okay if he's plays for a little bit. I usually don't have a problem with that, and I'll take the time to do some FB or TK or whatever in the bedroom.

Gamer FI's and Bromance vents..

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