Everything Snowballed and we are trying to get it back...

Re: Everything Snowballed and we are trying to get it back...

• cg-pm52111

  

  September 2010 edited December 2011

  Ok, first, take a deep breath.  It will all be ok.
  
  Second, it sounds like you and your FI need to sit down and discuss what you want out of your wedding.  Big or small?  Indoors or outdoors?  Figure out the budget, while your at it.  There are certain decisions that you'll need to make because it's YOUR day and not anyone else's.  There are certain things you will find that maybe you can give on to make others happy (and ultimately your day less stressful).  Figure out what those things are.  It's really important that you be on the same page.
  
  From there, you can let your family know your plan of action.  Like previously mentioned, I think families appreciate it when you leave room for their input on certain things you have decided to let them have input on.  But remember, ultimately it is your day and you decided (provided someone else isn't footing the bill, in which case they get a say because they're paying!).  Having an opinion/sticking up for yourself is not being a bridezilla unless you let it get out of control.
  
  One of the next things you'll do is find a venue that meets your budget and your idea of what you want for a wedding.  Check out the link in my siggy labeled NH Knotties for a great list of vendors previous Knotties have used.  Once you get the venue figured out, the rest sort of falls into place.
  
  Good luck and happy planning!  The girls on this board are a great resource, so use them!  Hope this helps a bit!  :-)
  

  
  

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• DrPB2b13 member

  

  September 2010 edited December 2011

  First step:  Take a deep breath!  I agree that a nice long talk between just you and your FI is in order to figure out exactly what you two want.
  
  Second step, remember that the majority of brides plan their weddings in about a year, so you have PLENTY of time to get everything settled, I promise!
  
  Third step, another deep breath!  It is a stressful process, but it can also be a lot of fun.  Just remember that we're here for you!
  
  Happy planning!
  

  Mrs. Abbe Peanut Butter || Planning Bio
  
  

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• Jillibeans11681 member

  

  September 2010 edited December 2011

  I'd say take a deep breath, but you probably already have.
  
  It's important to take a step back from the situation and say "Is this what we really want?" It's a hard question to answer, but you have to make yourself happy first. It also, if your parents are paying part or all of the bill, is important to take their wishes into consideration.
  
  There are plenty of places you can have the small intimate wedding you want with the people you want to have there. If a destination wedding was your dream, look into somewhere in the Lakes Region or North Country where you can make a weekend out of it. Maybe you want to be on the Seacoast? I guess it all depends on your style.
  
  The thing with wedding planning is that it can take on a life of it's own (as you have figured out) if you let it. You need to know when to give in and when to say "NO." If the napkin color matters to mom but not you, give mom her napkin color. If you want an outdoor wedding and she wants it in a church ... then you can say "no." It is important to listen and consider the ideas of others, but in the long run this is your day. Just say, "Oh! I hadn't thought of that! What a good idea, I'll see what FI thinks." It will keep things smoother in the long run.
  
  Lastly, a year is WAY MORE than enough time. Friends of mine did 6 months and I had a 10 month engagement. I had the majority of my vendors scheduled in the first month and I waited around doing NOTHING from Jan.-June. You'll be more than fine, I promise. The ladies here are FULL of good advice, so whenever you need suggestions just ask
  

  

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