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Jewish Weddings

interfaith marriages/ceremonies

Hi Everyone,
I am fairly new to these boards (only been engaged about 2 weeks).  I'm Jewish and my FI is christian.  We've been discussing our ceremony, and after having a teleconference with my cousin who is a Rabbi, he's decided he is ok with a Jewish ceremony since to him weddings don;t normally feel religious to him (he had otherwise wanted to try to both a Rabbi and a minister there and try to do a combo ceremony).  I was wondering if there are others in a similar situation and what their ceremonies consist of.  We definitely want to break the glass, I want a chuppah and at least some soft of blessing.  While I don't know if my cousin will do the ceremony (we're still discussing how to raise our kids religiously, and I don't know if we wil meet the "raising our children jewish" criteria), we do know another Rabbi that we want to approach.

thanks for any advice

Re: interfaith marriages/ceremonies

  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Interfaithfamily.com has a matching service that helps interfaith couples find rabbis.

    NotFroofy and I got married a bit over a year ago.  She's atheist, and I'm Jewish.  We had a chuppah, an interfaith kebuah, plain gold bands for our wedding rings, readings of the seven blessings, and the breaking of the glass.  You can really do pretty much anything you and your officiant want.  None of the Jewish prayers are likely to be an issue for a Christian spouse.
  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    My Jewish husband and I were married in an interfaith ceremony in 2009.  We had a minister and a rabbi.  We did not have a chuppah but we did break the glass, sign the ketubah, recited the prayer of Shehecheyanu, and ended with a benediction.  (We also had a Christian reading from the New Testament and lit the unity candle). 

    I found this website to be very helpful in planning my ceremony.
    I have an outline of our ceremony in my planning bio.
  • Magdala9Magdala9 member
    edited December 2011
    My husband is Jewish and I grew up Episcopal but am non-practicing.   We had a chuppah, an interfaith ketubah, plain platinum bands for our wedding rings, readings of the seven blessings, and the breaking of the glass.  We spent a lot of time finding the right officiant...a great Rabbi.  None of the Jewish prayers are were an issue for a Christian spouse.  We did have a detailed program to explain things to the Christian side of the family.
  • edited December 2011

    You might find the resources on our site helpful. We have discussion boards where interfaith couples (where one partner is Jewish) are discussing just these topics, plus articles and resources from couples and professionals alike. (We also have resources to help with discussions and decisions about how to raise kids.)

    If your cousin is unable to help out by officiating, we have a free referral service - contecting couples with rabbis who will officiate at interfaith marriages.

    Good luck in the preparations, and mazal tov!,
    InterfaithFamily.com is the premiere web based resource for couples exploring Jewish life and making Jewish choices, and the leading web based advocate for attitudes, policies and practices that welcome and embrace them.
  • blakgarnetblakgarnet member
    edited December 2011
    thanks for the feedback everyone.  Interfaith family - I've already found your website!  Unfortunately, the referred rabbies are all at least 3 hours away, and the ones that will co-officiate are even farther :/  Some days I hate being Jewish and living in such a rurral community.  Fortuntely we have time, and I am hoping that a Rabbi (who works as a chaplin) who goes to my congregation (there is no Rabbi for our congregation - too small) might do it since my FI and I are both friends with him.
    We will keep you posted and I'm looking forward to reading people's recommendations about chuppahs, ketubahs, etc.
  • eks36eks36 member
    edited December 2011
    Check out Anita Diamant's book, The New Jewish Wedding. My fiance and I developed our ceremony from her text. (My fiance is Reform, I was raised Christian/Protestant.) 

    His mom is making our chuppah, we will circle one another, we are planning to have our parents read the Seven Blessings (his parents will read them in Hebrew and my parents will read an English interpretation), we will have kiddush cups, and the breaking of the glass, followed by yichud. We also will have a ketubah, but I am not wearing a veil (and thus we won't have a bedeken) and my fiance does not wish to wear a kippah or a tallit. Those were his choices, though. We're still working out a lot of the ceremony details, but we have a rough outline.
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