what would you do different

chelseac_123 · December 2009

So I got a wedding planning book because we have 2 years before the wedding, and I have plenty of time. One thing it says is to talk to other brides to see what they would do differently. Any information would help.

fallbride1109 · December 2009

I would have allowed the BMs and I more time to get ready and I would have had us ready earlier so we could have gotten more candid/getting dressed shots.

I would have done the candy buffet ONLY and not done favors. They really didn't add anything except money and stress. PLEASE listen to the brides that tell you don't do them!

I would have had gold chargers at the reception. They weren't that much money and I had them on our head table and they were gorgeous.

I would have done a B-list. We were cramped for space so we cut our list and then people ended up declining and I would have been able to invite more people I really wanted there if I had allowed the time to send out extra invitations.

I would have budgeted and planned for all the zillion of things that come up at the end in the beginning of planning.

Other than these small things, I really can't think of anything. It's good that you are planning early--it makes it so much less stressful in the end!

juliebug1997 · December 2009

I probably would have begged a little more for us to take the rehearsal dinner back over. It became a huge bone of contention between what we wanted (something casual-esque and laid back) to a stuff affair one step below our wedding.

Also, stand up for yourself. There were a few times when I felt like I was bullied towards something that I didn't necessarily want to do.

I second Stephiehall's advice about favors: if you're going to do one, make it edible. I bought little organza bags on sale from Hobby Lobby and put Kisses and Hugs in them. Another friend of mine sprinkled Kisses on the table for guests to eat.

I also wouldn't take on too much in the do-it-yourself department. You'll be so busy and you don't want to take on more than you can handle. I felt that my time was worth the money that I spent other people doing things. I like little projects, but I was also moving at the same time I would have been doing all those things.

JessTX · December 2009

Everything went great for my wedding but there are still a bunch of little things...
I would have taken a few days off from work about 2-3 weeks out from the wedding when it is time to make the final rounds with all the vendors on the details instead of the full week right before.

I probably would have pushed back on so many family members coming to "help" over a week before the wedding. I thought I could enjoy time with them but it was stressful and prevented me from getting done what I needed to get in done.

I would have kept up on my initial planning pace and not have taken a lull in the planning because this caused a lot of stress with things coming up too close to the wedding date to get done. (My lull was only because work got really crazy hectic so not sure how I could have avoided that.)

As I got in crunch time, I let my friends help me more (those who volunteered) and I should have let them help sooner.

I would have started my programs sooner so they could have been designed the way I envisioned all along. ( I thought I would have plenty of time the week before the wedding since I took off but with the WHOLE family here, I didn't get anything done until they went to bed.)

I would have still done my own makeup, (I have been a makeup fanatic forever), but I would have paid more attention to how my foundation would look with all the stringed whited lights at my venue and the camera lights.

I would have broken my agreement with my florist after the trial bouquet for my bridals. I basically had one day to make that decision (before my agreement would have meant I had to pay a hefty sum) and felt stuck. I should have went with my gut at the time. I honestly would have had a grocery store do my flowers knowing what I know now and how much I could have saved.

I would have met with my photographer again before the wedding to set expectations and wrote a list beyond the formals of what I wanted. (however, shots that were on my formals list were still missed). After being unhappy with my bridals, I would have studied others formals and wedding pics to come up with the kind of poses I want us to do. I am so sad we have no fun pics with our bridal party, just a couple of formal, stiff ones.

I would have made more of a stink about the bar not using the barware and handing out beer bottles instead of always pouring. I would have made signs for the mason jars that were glasses to be used with our self serve non alcoholic beverage station so everyone wasn't drinking out of the cans and bottles or had the caterer.

I would have ordered less cake. We still have cake in the freezer!

I wouldn't have stressed about the guest list and I would have invited a few more people.

I probably would have talked less about the planning process with some people as it caused me more stress than I expected.

That's about all I can think of.

Terriniski · December 2009

I would have splurged on a photographer if I had a little extra savings. I didn't go cheap, but I would have spent more to get someone with a little more experience. I also wouldn't have rushed the photos of the families after the ceremony. (I was trying to get everyone out so that the next wedding would start on time, but I think we had more time than I thought at the time).

I would have come up with a list of expectations for bridesmaids before asking girls to be my bridesmaids and I would have let them know what kind of involvement and expenses I expected at first so that I knew far in advance what some girls might have concerns or different views on.

Terriniski · December 2009

One more...

I would have done a receiving line after the ceremony. It seems old-fashioned, but everyone was mulling around outside after the ceremony trying to say hi instead of going straight to the reception. And once I got to the reception I felt obligated to make the rounds and talk to everyone, meaning that I didn't have much time to relax and enjoy the reception.

resoundingnoise · December 2009

Ditto Stephie about the favors as well as the candy bar, and ditto Juliebug about not doing too much DIY. My Mom and I did SOOO much DIY, and while it did save money, I don't know if it was worth the added stress on my Mom and I.

I definitely would not have done my own invitations. Because I was the one making them, I was so so anal about them - they had to be perfect. In the end, they didn't turn out the way I originally wanted them to and took WAY too long for what it was worth.

I would have planned out time for DH and I to relax for a few minutes after the ceremony(before the reception). We don't have many pictures from the wedding of just us two in the wedding venue because we were so rushed to get to the reception.

appletango85 · December 2009

Would have rented plates, silverware, glasses, tablecloths, etc instead of buying our own, washing them aftewards and trying to sell them. Once they are sold we will have barely spent a lot but my parents and his parents are the ones who ended up washing everything and they were like NEVER AGAIN.

I would have added a photobooth. I did candy bar bc FMIL *really* wanted one and I was debating on that or the photobooth and since she was paying I let her have it

I didn't mind doing the DIY stuff that I did except the leaves. I procrastinated too long on those so if you are wanting to do DIY projects I highly suggest getting them all done at least 4-6 months before the wedding.

I would have had my wedding start sooner(we started at 745 on a Friday evening.) I would have liked to party it up a little longer at the venue.

We had an afterparty and I would have brought a change of clothes to go there right after instead of going home first. We almost didn't make it lol

DItto on the B list. I kind of had one but it was disorganized. I ended up inviting verbally then handing them an invitaiton to the people I ended up having room for. I also had 15-20 people who rsvp'ed yes and just didn't come. and not ONE of them texted or called me to let me know.

emimayor · December 2009

I would make MORE favors, because I loved mine so much!

Looking back I would have researched photographes more extensively, as well as put in writing what my expectations were.

I would not have done a grooms cake. It was cute and creative, but kind of a waste of money, IMO. We didn't do a candy buffet, but one cake brides was plenty.

And I had a pretty big wedding, but looking back i would have made it even bigger. More people, more food, and more booze. It was such a fun night that I only wish more ppl could have been there!!

Don't drink too much. I probably could have laid off the champagne...

JessAndColton · December 2009

Here are things I loved about mine...

-It was early and quick (so I had more time to enjoy my husband rather than entertaining...)
- I liked having a brief time away from everyone just the two of us (and our photog) for gifts and breaths after the ceremony.
- I liked the reception and wedding being in the same place
- LOVED my photographers

Things I would have done different:
- I would have done the reveal
- I would have had a candy bar
- I would have made use of my chocolate fountain, I was so busy I never got one piece from it and that was my MUST HAVE.

All in all though, I have no regrets and think things ran very smoothly.

fallbride1109 · December 2009

Oh I thought of something else--I would have had video, at least for the ceremony

Here are the things I would do exactly the same:
- The reveal - totally wonderful and we didn't lose anything by doing it beforehand, if anything we had more of a reaction because it was private
- The candy buffet - beautiful and people loved it (but I wouldn't have bought so much candy)
- Splurging for great photography - anyone that tells you it isn't worth it is mistaken
- Making sure I had time to eat, dance and enjoy my reception-Plan your timeline beforehand and have a great DJ to keep you on track and you will be able to eat and dance the night away

stephl3055 · December 2009

I would've wanted a smaller guest list. But with the fact that my ILs have a large family and lots of friends they wanted to invite, and with the shorter amount of time we had for the reception since it didn't get started until 8ish, there were just way too many people to see. We managed it, but it went by really quickly and I felt like I was constantly watching the clock.

Don't be scared to put your foot down on anything that you don't want to do. This is your wedding, not your uncle's, sister's, IL's, whoever.

I like the idea of a photobooth and that is something I probably would've wanted if i had known more about them for my wedding. Everyone that has done them has said they are a blast.

Don't be afraid to accept help. I'm one of those people who thinks no one can do it better than I can, so my husband and I did everything ourselves. We did all the STDs, invitations, favors, and tons of "small" stuff. In the end it was very overwhelming and stressful. But it did look great

If you don't absolutely LOVE a vendor during your initial meeting, move on. There are a lot of people on this board who will tell you the first meeting they had with a vendor was so-so or there were some red flags but they decided to go with them anyway for various reasons. And almost all of those same girls will tell you they should've walked away from the beginning. Trust your gut.

appletango85 · December 2009

Things I wouldn't change:

The reveal - It saved so much time being able to take pictures beforehand! Especially because our wedding was late in the evening.

Having real food versus finger foods - we were originally getting sandwich platters and such from Sam's but FMIL decided to splurge on the food and I am SO thankful she did!

My cake - we had a ton of cake left over but that's because we had a lot more no's and no show's than anticipated. But it looked and tasted SO good!

Candy buffet was a hit!

Having ceremony and reception videoed - I wasn't able to hear the strings from upstairs and I heard them walking down the stairs but once I saw David I guess everything else just kind of faded away because I didn't hear them after that LOL Even though we haven't watched it yet(don't have a way to play them) I am excited to be able to see things at the reception I wasn't able to as well.

:

JustinandLindsay2009 · December 2009

Really really think about it before you chose your MOH. Go with ther person that has always been there for you, not the newer friend that is a bit flighty and selfish. Also, draw up clear expecations and cost estimates before you ask them so that they know what they are getting into upfront before they accept.

I would have gone with a different florist and met them in person, not just gone via email.

I would have stuck to my budget. My original 8K budget trippled over the course of planning so we spend ALOT more money that we planned to and I wish we had some of that back now for other things.

I would have gone with a longer time frame. We only had a 3 hour reception and I wish it would have been 4 or 5 hours. Everyone was having so much fun that it was really sad when he said "last song of the night".

Don't sweat the guest list - in the end, it works out....we actually could have invited a few more because of some last minute no shows.

Things I woudln't change:
I LOVED doing bridals. That was probably one of my favorite parts of the whole thing. It was like being a model for a day. DO BRIDALS!

I loved having Justin see me for the first time when the doors opened. The look on his face was priceless and I have that moment forever now in my head and in a photograph.

Splurging on my dress - yes I will only wear it twice (bridals and wedding) but it was so worth it and I felt like a princess.

wagnerj3 · December 2009

I just want to thank you all so much for this post! You all mentioned a lot of things I hadn't thought of and will definitely help me in my planning!!

what would you do different

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